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Song Parodies -> "New Star, Palin: Fan, Her"

Original Song Title:

"The Star-Spangled Banner"

Original Performer:

Francis Scott Key

Parody Song Title:

"New Star, Palin: Fan, Her"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

What better OS for a small-town, big-game-huntin', red-blooded American gal? (The McKludge comment referred to was at yesterday's Palin-ody, "God Bless The Governor".) If you're not from the US, didn't watch the Olympics, and have never heard of Michael Phelps, there's a stirring MIDI here - Version 2 is the best. (Unless you're from Mars, you've presumably heard of Sarah Palin by now.) OS lyrics here (used first verse only). Now, will everyone please rise, stand, and come to attention?
Oh-oh, my fantasy
Undergone ev'ry night:
When so loudly, I've wailed,
It's of Sarah I'm dreaming

This broad -- Cripes! A bright star
From the querulous Right
All her "glam" parts, I've watched [1]
Got my blood pressure steaming

At her "rockets", I stare
What a firm derrière!
But, poof! -- end of night:
I am clutching thin air :-(

Hurray! -- does my-y hard-spankied ramme-err ye-et ra-aaaaave!
Both my glaaand-and I agree:
Queen of Nome is my fave!

[1] I confess readily
I was drawn, here, to write....***
But "taste" proudly prevailed
Though my tight whites, I'm creaming

(Fearing gripes, even scars
From this garrulous site)
***...."How her clam part, I've notched
"And set sweet Sarah screaming"

"Why does she so excite?"
Asked McKludge, Tuesday night
No Barbies for me;
Brainy gals: lust, incite

In-tell-i-gent,-at-tractive, strong manne-ered i-is she-eeeeee
Scintillaaaa-ting Sarah P:
How she "turns on" TT!

Always had a thing for intelligent women. For one thing, I figure they can "get" my more obscurely-punned parodies. I could read them to her in bed, and she'd be cracking up laughing, in between -- n/m, YGTP. © 2008 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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alvin - September 17, 2008 - Report this comment
esoecially liked "rockets" and "thin air"
McKludge - September 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks for the name-drop, TT. And I like intelligent women, too. I'm just not sure she's one of them. The past 8 years have shown us that intelligence is not a pre-requisite for high political office, as much as it should be.
LilBarbieCakes - September 17, 2008 - Report this comment
^ ^ Herr McQlu ~ I sense that intellect is something you really value in the Female form . . . Yeah, right Sir ! !
AFW - September 17, 2008 - Report this comment
What alvin said, and you get the three 5's I have...Left
Tommy Turtle - September 17, 2008 - Report this comment
alvin and AFW, thanks.
MCKludge,, you're welcome. The recent campaigns, on both sides, continue to indicate the same thing. But she LOOKS intelligent - the Tina Fey glasses, maybe? :) Thanks MK.
LiLBarbieCakes, lol! Thanks for v/c.
McKludge - September 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Did I just get dissed by LiLBC? I can't tell :·)
TT - September 17, 2008 - Report this comment
McK, I'm hardly an expert at perceiving others, but I do believe LBC's last statement is facetious, and hence, the answer would be "Yes". But I could easily be mistaken.
LaBarbieCake - September 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Yes, T T , you are NOT mistaken, Sir . . . That's why I refer to McQlu, as `~Le Marquis de ClueLessness ~
TJC - September 18, 2008 - Report this comment
A perfectly plotted Palinody of presidential proportions... with emphASSis on the VICE., oh Prince pTommy of pTurtles! AnxiouSLY awaiting your final pTrilogy's installment..
TT - September 18, 2008 - Report this comment
TJC: Thank tyou, tsir! Tand tcongrats ton tyour tnew tmethod tof textensive talliteration!
Fiddlegirl - August 19, 2009 - Report this comment
Que Sarah Sarah... eh, TT?
Tommy Turtle - August 20, 2009 - Report this comment
Fiddlegirl: Wasilla will be, will be.

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