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Song Parodies -> "I Lamb... I Said (a/k/a) A Lamb In Bed"

Original Song Title:

"I Am... I Said"

Original Performer:

Neil Diamond

Parody Song Title:

"I Lamb... I Said (a/k/a) A Lamb In Bed"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Torn between two titles
Which would make you drool?
Loving gal and ewe
Creates a "title pool"
Torn between two titles
Which one is more cool?
Couldn't decide
So finally went with "dual"
Both were applied
Now, let's go pull the wool :)*

*Really* did not intend any more sheeparodies for a long(-horned) time, but when I put one up last Wednesday, the follow-up suggestions from readers came pouring in -- all quite good! So for Chuck's sake (Pete doesn't run this site), and for the sake of *all* of us, STOP MAKING SUGGESTIONS! :) :) :) ... this one was done because it didn't have "You" in OS title -- obviously, any such song can be ewe-logized -- and so could be taken on the lamb, instead of putting it all on ewe. Blame this one on AFW for his comment at last Wednesday's post.
Gal lays fine, (sun don't shine), on her, I climb
Get her on top, and lay back
"Palm" needs? No, though menses flow
But you know, keep thinking of
Taking old way back

Well, I'm cowboy-country born and raised
And nowadays, I'm tossed between two doors
Gal lay's fine, but in brain, roam
Country's "mine", but it ain't home
No more!

"I lamb", I said
Like wool, not hair
But not one herd at all
No flockin' was there

"I lamb", I cried
A lamb, inside
Though I've been flossed (quite well) but...
... Still can't decide
Leaving me horny, still

Did ya ever hear about the frog whose "line" was being a prince?
Man, it's a lame one!
You go into a bar, and you find you some dameses,
And you're chattin' a "she"
And hope for a "game" one

Well, I got an emptiness deep inside
And I've tried, but can't fill it with ho'
And being a man who likes mohair [1]
This guy's always cared for the sound of bleating, not moan!

A lamb, I wed
They're much fun, swear!
And no one's hurt at all
No children to bear
A lamb, I ride
A lamb, this guy
A line I've crossed; to gals, I'm sayin' good-bye
Gettin' my bonely fill

[1] Mohair actually comes from goats (I'm not kidding! hehe), but the sub was irresistible.

*Intro parody from Mary MacGregor's "Torn Between Two Lovers", once previously trashed by TT. (oh, and sorry about "tidal pool" mwahaha!)


TT's Sheepliography (Bibliewegraphy?)

1) "A Shepherd Am I" (American Pie)
2) "Back In The Ewe A*s, Us Are" (d'oh)
3) "Ewe: 'Don't Clone Me!'" (You Don't Own Me)
4) "God Only Knows What I'd Be Without Ewe" (d'oh^2)
5) "Have You Got Bleating On Your Mind?" (Have You Got Cheating On Your Mind?)
6) "I Lie With Sheeps Tonight" (The Lion Sleeps Tonight)
7) "Larry Craig Knowing Ewe" (Knowing Me, Knowing You)
8) "Schtuppin' Ewe All Day" (Surfin' USA)
9) "Sheep Love You" (She Loves You)
10) "Sheep: Care, Ovine" (Sweet Caroline)
11) "The Wonder Of Ewe" (go ahead, take a wild guess)
12) This one.

© 2009 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Turtles and sheep are becoming the new ice cream and cake! As always, you make me laugh and say "What the flock!" ;D
Fiddlegirl - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Just can't get "pasture" strange fascination with sheep... ;)
Mark Scotti - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Oh, these "creature features" stories you're painting, Turtle, are hilarious! "The lamb Lies Down On Broadway" (Title to a genesis LP)
Christie Marie M - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Reading/singing this reminds me that I have to abstain from all lamb (lamb chops, leg of lamb, etc)! I echo all comments! One of Little Bo-Peep's sheep lost and found in your arms! Not such a baaaaaaad parody! Sheepishly funny!! Here's a flock of 5's coming your way!
John Barry - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Reptilian-ovine miscegenation.
TJC - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Ewe rock! If Neil D. were dead, he'd definitely be spinning in his Liberachi inspired snarkoffagus! You should go for thirteen and make it a 'taker's' dozen!
Andy Primus - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment
If you could have offspring with a sheep would they be testewedines?
Tommy Turtle - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Old Man Ribber: ... but I'm about full, as I imagine everyone else is for a while. No more, I promise... thanks for v/c :)

Fiddlegirl: It's explained in the other songs: No flowers, dinner, marriage, in-laws, kids, nagging, divorce, alimony... and as mentioned, only one was intended recently; blame the other two on Andy P and AFW :) ... Thanks for "grazing" me with your v/c!

Mark Scotti: DK Genesis LP, but it's a great title -- ya gonna parody it? :D .. thanks for v/c!

Christie Marie M: Thank you! And the sheep thank you, too!

John Barry: Hey, their child will probably grow up to be President some day. ('course, there'll be a "birth certificate" controversy)

TJC: Uh, think I've already pushed everyone's muttons enough -- not gonna ram any more down their throats fur a while :) thanks for v/c!

Andy Primus: LOL! ... except for the "stewed" part! ... but waaay clever. Maybe Cheeplonia? ... thanks for v/c.
Timmy1000 - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Another funny sheep song for ewe, TT
TT - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Timmy1000, thanks ... and the *last* for a good while!
alvin - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment
pulling the wool over your thighs
TT - August 04, 2009 - Report this comment
thanks alvin
Mandy First - December 21, 2009 - Report this comment,





Nice ‘n’ easy

I’ll be back (as Arnie would say)
Tommy Turtle - December 22, 2009 - Report this comment
Mandy First: Should we put that to a popewelar vote (TT doing another sheepody)? ... not sure if the world is quite ready yet... but quite the creative verse comment! Thanks, and can't wait to see you be baaack, (as Ahnold would actually say, heh heh) :-)

So, are you the subject of Barry Manilow's song, "Mandy"? ;)
Mandy First - December 22, 2009 - Report this comment
Look for the ' & the odd , 's for a pattern
Peregrin - September 28, 2012 - Report this comment
In "I Am, I Said" parodies, I always look for the key line that replaces "Not even the chair". This time I got "No flockin' was there". I wasn't disappointed!
Tommy Turtle - September 29, 2012 - Report this comment
Peregrin: Always pleased to have met your very high expectations!

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