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Song Parodies -> "Did You Ever Have To Make Up Your Mind? (S&M)"

Original Song Title:

"Did You Ever Have To Make Up Your Mind?"

Original Performer:

The Lovin' Spoonful

Parody Song Title:

"Did You Ever Have To Make Up Your Mind? (S&M)"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

The long-awaited (by me) sequel to "Whip-Chained Melody". Some folks are naturally dominant, some are naturally submissive, and some, like this couple, vacillate... Fairly close OS lyrics here, but it's "You'd best go home..." not "You'd better go home..." MIDI with only slight embellishments here
Did you ever have to make up your mind?
Who's gonna be "top", who's gonna spank whose behind?
Which one does the binding, which one's in a bind?
Did you ever have to make up your mind?

Did you ever have to finally decide?
Like, who ties the knots and who is gonna be tied?
Which one is the "Master"; who blisters whose hide?
Did you ever have to finally decide?

Sometimes you're in submissive mood -- Say, "Whip me, Honey"
She cracks a few hard right there on the money
And just then you think that you'll give it a whirl
And say "Guess what now, Hon? It's your turn, little girl!"...
...And then you know you better make up your mind
And call "Heads" or "Tails", so ropes are not intertwined
Someone has to see, see? Not "blind leading blind" --
Blindfold wearer? Better make up your mind!

(Instrumental plays for one verse while they argue over who's going to be the boss tonight)

Sometimes you really dig a girl the moment you've smacked her [1]
And then you get distracted by how you impact her
She puts on black leather, and ties you with line
And says, "Too late, Bud, shoulda' made up your mind"

Then you bet you better finally decide
Who's ridden? Which one? And let the other one ride
Which one is the groom, now, and which one's the bride?
Did you ever have to finally decide?

[1] We're joking about consensual "play" here. Non-consensual domestic violence is an absolute no-no, if there were ever any doubt.

© 2007 Tommy Turtle.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

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Michael Pacholek - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
By any chance, was your dad or grandpa Bert the Turtle from the old "Duck and Cover" public-service ad? 'Cause it sounds like you need to do some serious ducking and covering! Either that, or find a new girlfriend! What you don't need to find is more talent. This was a riot. Perhaps even literally.
alvin rhodes - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
like the way you dressed this black leather
Ann Hammond - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Should I say I liked it or I sang to it?
Tommy Turtle - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Michael Pacholek, DK Bert, but thanks... :) alvin rhodes, thanks... Ann Hammond, say whichever is true... just make up your mind already! lol :-)
Meriadoc - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
I always know which side I'm on...take these 5's and say "thank you Mistress, may I have another?" ;-)
tommy turtle - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Mistress Meriadoc, thank you, Mistress, may i have three more, please?
Yoidy - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
We should all be so lucky to have your problems! 5 bruised behinds.
PMS - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
TT doing S&M made PMS LOL
AFW - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Very masterful...One can tell you slaved over this
John Jenkins - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Reading this was a fun ride.
Adagio - January 20, 2007 - Report this comment
TT, this slays me!! (funny) But I caught myself sing out loud to it, then realized there were other people in the house. Good pacing and realy funny. 5's
Tommy Turtle - January 20, 2007 - Report this comment
Yoidy, thanks!... I think :) ... PMS, PDQ! tyvm! .... AFW, good ones :) thanks ... John Jenkins, thanks, glad ya liked the ride... Adagio, thanks, don't hog all the fun, let everyone sing along heh heh :)
Mark Scotti - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
I've made up my mind, you are a reptilian "master" at slave 555 lashes are fine.
Tommy Turtle - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Mark Scotti: Spank you very much!
Andy Primus - February 12, 2011 - Report this comment
Well, slap my thigh - that was hilarious from start to finish. Lashings (UK only? - a copious amount of something) of good lines with "on the money" being my fave.

Only one footnote - wow! You probably didn't even need that one - I can't imagine how thick a person would have to be for them not to be able to put that in the context of the parody!

I just had a look through the Spoonful index and noted that 2 of my faves of theirs (My Gal & Fishin' Blues) haven't been done - I suppose that means no one knows them, so they're not really worth doing.

It's three two to me in this round of oldies so here's one you should know to level things up again (it's another one from before I swotted up on my punctuation though - I can see plenty of places where semis would help, among others)
Tommy Turtle - February 12, 2011 - Report this comment
Andy Primus: *That* meaning of "lashings" is not in US, so thanks for explaining -- made an excellent pun that would otherwise be lost.

The footnote was there to ensure compliance with the Submission (heh! -- in this context!) Guidelines:
"I also don't post parodies which advocate domestic violence,..." Not taking any chances there.

Yes, I owe you one, and will read, although right in the middle of composing ATM, possibly an epic or two for Monday, if all goes well.

I hoped that you might take it on yourself to read the link in the intro: "Whip-Chained Melody", as that has a substantial amount of our old friend, syllable-matching, as well as two sets of triple homophones. That would put you two up on me, although maybe I'll read yours now -- could use the break. Ah, what the heck. Thanks for reading and v/c.
Meriadoc - October 18, 2012 - Report this comment
I see I already commented - heh heh...
Tommy Turtle - October 19, 2012 - Report this comment
Meriadoc: Yes, and in a way, turtles are like elephants --- they never forget, because they have very little to remember. (Like their address, phone #, etc.)
  Which is why Mistress Merry's proclivities have been known to Her Humble Servant for almost six years now. (#(#)

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