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Song Parodies -> "It's About Crime (Lisa Nowak)"
Original Song Title:
"It's About Time (TV theme song)"
Original Performer:
Gerald Fried and Sherwood Schwartz
Parody Song Title:
"It's About Crime (Lisa Nowak)"
Parody Written by:
Tommy Turtle
The Lyrics
Remember Astro-nut Lisa Nowak? This parody had a good run on the airwaves while that story played out. Based on a mercifully-short-lived TV sitcom from the same geniuses who gave us "Gilligan's Island", about two astronauts who accidentally travel back in time to prehistoric days, then return with a couple of cavepersons. Parody doesn't click so well if you never saw the series (lucky you!), so here is the OS/theme song, which pretty much tells the sitcom's whole story: (mp3 and WAV here)
It's about time,
It's about space,
About strange people in the strangest place.
It's about time,
It's about flight,
Travelin' faster than the speed of light.
About space people and a brave crew,
As through the barrier of time they flew.
Pass the Roman Senators,
Pass an armored knight,
Pass the firing Minutemen,
To this modern site.
It's about time for you and me
To meet these people of amazing feats.
It's about two astronauts and how they educate
A pre-historic woman and her pre-historic mate.
It's about time
It's about space
About strange people in the strangest place
They will be here
With all of us
Dodging a taxi, a car, a bus.
Where will they go
What will they do
In this strange place where everything is new.
Will they manage to survive
Watch each week and see.
Will they get accustomed to the Twentieth Century.
It's about time
For our good byes
To all our pre-historic gals and guys.
And now,
It's About Time
It's About Time
It's About Time
It's About Time!
********************************
And the parody:
It's About Crime
Tommy Turtle
It's about crime
It's about space
About strange woman with a can of Mace
It's about slime
'Bout a cat fight
Travelin' faster out of lover's spite
About space woman who's quite a shrew
As to the lover of her man she flew
With a can of pepper spray
And a rubber hose
From her home in Houston, Tex
To Orlando, goes
It's about time for you and me
To meet these folks who work in zero-G
It's about three astronauts and how they fornicate [1]
A psychopathic woman and her space-man lover's date
It's about crime
It's about space
About strange driving, a cross-country race
Gonna fight for
Man that she loves
With a steel mallet and rubber gloves
What will she do?
Threaten her life?
With a BB gun and a folding knife?
Will Colleen Shipman survive? [2]
Watch each day and see
Will they sentence Lisa to State Penitentiary?
It's about crime
Up in our skies
Among our astronautic gals and guys
And now,
It's About Crime!
It's About Crime!
It's About Crime!
It's About Crime!
[1] For the radio, they opted for the more G-rated alternative I offered,
"It's about three astronauts who all triangulate"
[2] Colleen Shipman was "the other woman", Nowak's rival and victim.
It's about space,
About strange people in the strangest place.
It's about time,
It's about flight,
Travelin' faster than the speed of light.
About space people and a brave crew,
As through the barrier of time they flew.
Pass the Roman Senators,
Pass an armored knight,
Pass the firing Minutemen,
To this modern site.
It's about time for you and me
To meet these people of amazing feats.
It's about two astronauts and how they educate
A pre-historic woman and her pre-historic mate.
It's about time
It's about space
About strange people in the strangest place
They will be here
With all of us
Dodging a taxi, a car, a bus.
Where will they go
What will they do
In this strange place where everything is new.
Will they manage to survive
Watch each week and see.
Will they get accustomed to the Twentieth Century.
It's about time
For our good byes
To all our pre-historic gals and guys.
And now,
It's About Time
It's About Time
It's About Time
It's About Time!
********************************
And the parody:
It's About Crime
Tommy Turtle
It's about crime
It's about space
About strange woman with a can of Mace
It's about slime
'Bout a cat fight
Travelin' faster out of lover's spite
About space woman who's quite a shrew
As to the lover of her man she flew
With a can of pepper spray
And a rubber hose
From her home in Houston, Tex
To Orlando, goes
It's about time for you and me
To meet these folks who work in zero-G
It's about three astronauts and how they fornicate [1]
A psychopathic woman and her space-man lover's date
It's about crime
It's about space
About strange driving, a cross-country race
Gonna fight for
Man that she loves
With a steel mallet and rubber gloves
What will she do?
Threaten her life?
With a BB gun and a folding knife?
Will Colleen Shipman survive? [2]
Watch each day and see
Will they sentence Lisa to State Penitentiary?
It's about crime
Up in our skies
Among our astronautic gals and guys
And now,
It's About Crime!
It's About Crime!
It's About Crime!
It's About Crime!
[1] For the radio, they opted for the more G-rated alternative I offered,
"It's about three astronauts who all triangulate"
[2] Colleen Shipman was "the other woman", Nowak's rival and victim.
© 2007 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail: tomm...@yahoo.com
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User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
great concept and execution....i was a fan of that old TV show too...my sis and i used to sing it like this...."its about time....its about space...its about time i slap your face"
alvin, shame! lol :) thanks alvin
Steel mallet? I feel like steelin' myself for a mullet after reading this great whack'expose! Personally, I'd like to see a 'cage fight' with Nowack & Tonya Harding, refereed by Kerrigan and Shipman, of course!
TJC, now there's an idea... you should talk to a promoter about that! ... thanks for v/c
Excellent job, TT. I recollected Ms. Nowak wearing diapers on her cross-country ride, and I wondered why you omitted that tidbit, but I just read that the diaper use was more of a rumor than a fact. I think I prefer triangulate to fornicate ... I mean as a way of communicating your idea, not necessarily as a personal recreational choice.
John Jenkins: I'd like to triangulate, but never had the chance - but this time, I have to agree with you and the producer on which was the better choice.... The media coverage focused so heavily on the "diaper" issue that the Daily Show satirized their tunnel-vision focus. It had been beaten to death already, whether fact or rumor, so it was left out of the parody. Thanks for vote and comment, John.
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