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Song Parodies -> "Seizin' Love: First One (Teasin's Just Begun)"

Original Song Title:

"Seasons In The Sun"

Original Performer:

Terry Jacks

Parody Song Title:

"Seizin' Love: First One (Teasin's Just Begun)"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Men, too, never forget their "first". Here, TT fondly recalls his first true love. You know who you are, and sweetheart, this song's for you.

Perfect OS video, but it's about a guy who's dying. How morbid is that? Methinks this is better.

I so remember first girl-friend
We'd known each other since she was in Grade Ten
Together we played on our knees
Learned about the birds and bees
Lost our marbles and cher-ries

Of you, dear friend, I think and sigh
Our first French kiss, and clinging thigh to thigh
Such lovely long, brown, wavy hair
Had a springy derriére
And from there, went ev'rywhere

We had joy, we had fun
And the teasin's just begun
All our games, they were fine
Back in year of '69

What fine ta-ta, display for me
Brassiere, sheer, black lace, with a cup of C
I'd watch her strip down to her thong
Feelings fine, and rather strong
She could always ring my gong

And ooh-la-la, such fun to watch
As she would model panties with no crotch
The Fred'rick's Catalog™, we'd dare [1]
Place your order; two weeks, there:
Such exciting underwear

In the loft, on the hay,
New and diff'rent "games" we'd play
Such delights in our day
But those days have gone away

We'd employ 'bout a ton:
Ev'ry toy: enhance our fun
As a man, 'twas the dawn
But alas, those days are gone

Came out of shell with honey-bun
We found true love; I knew she was "the one"
And ev'ry day, at school bell sound
You would always come around
What such complete joy we had found

Made love so well; did she and I
I fell asleep once on her as we lie
Though it was just mid-afternoon
But so satisfied from poon
Then resting, nestling like a spoon

We had love, we had joy
Woman, man, from girl and boy
Though our lives, now: discrete [2]
But the memory is sweet!

Dear, you so were my pet
Whom I swear, I'll ne'er forget
Other loves: come and gone
But to you, I'm always drawn

Any more, couldn't take:
What nostalgia; such heart-ache
In my mind, linger long
And so dedicate this song

(We had love, we had joy)
(With each other, never coy)

[repeat; but it never fades]

[1] Loooong before Victoria shared her Secrets, there was Frederick's of Hollywood (yes, that Hollywood): at first, a mail-order-only store, shipped discreetly in plain brown wrapper. Now found in shopping malls. (Dare I say, "strip malls"?)

[2] I. e., we eventually went our separate ways.

Been waiting for decades to write this -- and every word is true. (sniff - 'scuse me a second - sniff...)

Frederick's of Hollywood ®. (NSFW) All else © 2009 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   10

User Comments

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alvin - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
a nice mix of poignancy and humor
Timmy1000 - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Kind of a nice, soft touch on this one - well done.
Jonathan - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
well I love the original version this is a good parody though 5's
Fiddlegirl - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
That's a sweet tribute for any lady.
Tommy Turtle - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
alvin: thanks much.

Timmy1000: Thanks to you, too.

Jonathan: I would, too, but it's so sad. BTW, did you know the original was French, and this was a "lite" translation, for US radio play? In the original, and the true English translation, he says good-bye to his wife, and forgives her for cheating on him. ...Thanks for v/c.

Fiddlegirl: TUVM. And thou, too, hast a special place in my heart, always unforgettable.
Summit of '69 - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
A thong in '69... my you *were* advanced... though, come to think of it, that makes perfect sense! Ditto FG & Timmy's sentiments... Most importantly, how'd ewe let her get away?
John Barry - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
One of the most insipid OS's of all time. Huge improvement!
Hot hot hot! - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Whooo... that's kinda steamy.
blackjack21 - September 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Anything's an improvement on that horrid OS, but you Jacked it up nicely. 555
TT - September 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Summit of '69: Check those old Frederick's catalogues in yer basement -- no anachronism! ... How did *I* get away? Too much pressure for the "m-word" and the dreaded "f-word" (f*m*ly) ... that's when suddenly, sheep seemed preferable :) Thanks for v/c!

John Barry: Agree completely! Glad you found it an improvement.... thanks for v/c.

Hot hot hot!: It was even steamier in person... guess ya had to be there (but glad ya weren't LOL!)... thanks for v/c :)

blackjack21: Agreed -- and you shoulda seen what a nice Ace she had! :) ... the part you wouldn't have liked is that I kept getting dealt a 15 -- a 6 and a 9. :D ... thanks for v/c.
Phil Alexander - October 05, 2012 - Report this comment
I see what you mean, TT - this is sweet and a bit risqué in places compared to my out-and-out smut :-)
Tommy Turtle - October 05, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks, Phil, but your out-and-out smut was far more original and clever in its c*nt-ent and "conception". ;) Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.
Patrick - October 17, 2012 - Report this comment
After seeing Merry & Pippen's remake of this otherwise morbid classic, I had to check out your version, too. Your variations is quite a bit more intimate. The other was more of a group sound. But the "derrière" and "buns" images were similar, as was the thong. Both songs are pleasing in their own way.
Tommy Turtle - October 18, 2012 - Report this comment
Patrick: When one writes about s*x, some terms are just going to appear repeatedly, lol.
Thanks for reading and for the kind comment, esp. as I know the bawdy is not to your taste -- but then again, the morbid is not to mine. ;)
Peregrin - October 18, 2012 - Report this comment
Ah Thomas, young love, how sweet :) I am being serious for once! Very nice.
Tommy Turtle - October 19, 2012 - Report this comment
Peregrin, for *once*, so was I. Thanks for relating. :)

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