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Song Parodies -> "Love To Bend Her"

Original Song Title:

"Love Me Tender"

Original Performer:

Elvis Presley

Parody Song Title:

"Love To Bend Her"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Inspired by AFW's incredible 180-twist parody on this general topic.

Love to bend her,
Love that treat
Have another go
Wondrous parts; her bod, replete
.Up, and down below

Love to render
Reddish hue
All her needs, fulfill
Screamin', snarlin', scratchin' too
Wild! -- what a thrill!

Love her fenders,
Love her thong
Take me to its part
For it's there I hide my schlong
Sweet, but ever tart

Love to send her:
Watch her spirits climb
Give til it comes out her ears
Make the end sublime

When at last, we've both turned blue
Off to sleep we go
In whose arms I wallow? -- You;
And I love you so!

Couldn't resist a happy ending -- nor maybe a surprise ending :-) © 2008 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Susanna Viljanen - November 26, 2008 - Report this comment
Nice one. Fives
STan Hall - November 26, 2008 - Report this comment
Hey, I'm giving you 5s ... question is, will she? :-)
Invisible Boy - November 26, 2008 - Report this comment
Ahhh...pretzel logic...
Jason - November 26, 2008 - Report this comment
I echo all 3 comments above!
John Barry - November 26, 2008 - Report this comment
Love your send-up.
unKnownVO - November 26, 2008 - Report this comment
. . . she will !
Tommy Turtle - November 26, 2008 - Report this comment
Susanna Viljanen, STan Hall, Invisible Boy, Jason, Johne Barry, unKnownVO, thanks.
TJC - November 27, 2008 - Report this comment
TT... great work--I just love Gumby parodies! (sorry, I'm off on another bender...)
TT - November 28, 2008 - Report this comment
TJC, thanks.... enjoy your fun time!
Stuart McArthur - November 28, 2008 - Report this comment
you still bragging about you and Angelina, TT? - sheesh

very funny writing mate - and in this ever-changing world in which we live in (which, Sir Paul is a phrase that contains 2 too many "in"s - which surely must be hard to do), it's good to know some things never change ;-).........555
Tommy Turtle - November 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Stuart McArthur, eat your heart out :-) ... and there were only one too many "in"s (only the final "in" was superfluous)... nice to know a *lot* of things never change -- and Gawd, it's good to see ya again, mate!

I'd rather not end up the adopted father of some doofus kids with doofus names, so I'm probably going to dump her and just stick to giving comfort s*x to the poor, dumped J. Aniston. BTW, I learned only recently that AJ and my bud Jon (her Dad) haven't spoken in years -- and I was soooo close to getting him to hook you up ;-)
Stuart McArthur - November 29, 2008 - Report this comment
ah, yes, comfort sex (sigh) - how easy would my life be if I didn't have to constantly offer THAT token generosity to all the miserable A-listers - still, that's the price you pay to get entry to the efterlife I guess (sigh again)

btw, there are actually no superfluous "in"s because (using the same token generosity to A-listers that I describe above) I choose to hear the line "and if this ever-changing world in which we're living, makes you give it a try..."

...but still, I acknowledge the accuracy of your answer ;-)
Tommy Turtle - December 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Great try, but it wuhks only in Ahstralia, not in Amerrrrica... but I do see that antipodally, "we're livin'" would sound aloud like "we live in". EOTY! (Excuse Of The Year) ;-)

Just read that Angie said in an interview some time back that "because her Mom (or "Mum") had been cheated on, she herself would never break up anyone's marriage" -- shortly before she and Brad Whasisname "fell in love" (i. e. intercawsed their non-existent brains out) on the set of "Mr/Mrs. Smith", thus ending poor Jen's marriage. Hypocrite... but the predicate explains why she avoigts her father.

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