Oh, well, I'm the type of bra that will never let 'em down
Where little "bits" are, well, I make em' big and round
I lift 'em and I squeeze 'em till they just don't look the same
The guys, how you can tease 'em with a fraud upon your frame
They call me the Wonderbra - yeah, the Wonderbra
I make the flat ones round; a bust abound

Oh yeah, there's gel on my left cup and there's padding on my right
And sexy is the girl, yeah, who's wearing me tonight
And when some guy drools, so totally impressed
He tears open her shirt and finds a phony of a chest
'Cause I'm a Wonderbra - yeah - a Wonderbra
Out of a molehill, make a giant mound

See how I fit beneath your gown
Improve your life with this brassiere
I'll give you cleavage of renown
Built with two underwires by a civil engineer [1]

Oh, I'm the type of bra that gets a beauty crowned
Embroidery of lace; each bust in foam, surround
And when you find a fool fallin' for a broad
Yeah, the odds are better than ten to one, he's victim of a fraud:
She wore a Wonderbra - yeah - a "thunderbra"
It makes an ounce a pound, a change profound
Busted so

Oh yeah, I'll give you a space where men like to be drowned
To bury their whole face - a breath, then go back down
And when you see some sap mooning for his Ma'am
So sickly seeking her succulents; sucker for a scam
Fooled by a Wonderbra, yeah, a Wonderbra
I make your A's astound; I wrap around; the men, confound
'Cause I'm a Wonderbra - yeah - a Wonderbra
But when at last unbound: the puppies downed; point at the ground
No, it's not underwear; it's plunder-wear
'Cause with the straps unwound, support unsound; illusion found; the boys all frowned
But still, it's fun to wear...

(repeat until the formerly magnificent fade away)



[1] Their website actually does make claims of "Precision engineering". But who would want to click on the link and have to sort through a bunch of bra ads just to verify something said in a parody? Well, nobody ever reads these nerdy footnotes anyway. Too bad.