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Song Parodies -> "Butt-Crack-er (The Plumber's Parody)"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Shirley Bassey

Parody Song Title:

"Butt-Crack-er (The Plumber's Parody)"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Dedicated to plumbers everywhere.
He's the man, the man who shows too much "cheek"
From pants they peek

Sagging nut-packer -
Underwear; briefs bare plumber's smiling rise
From hips to thighs!

"Roto-Rooter! You called? I am here!"
Then he kneels down, exposing his rear
Making moon-like face; in case you missed it
Shows again his
Hairy biscuit!

Boys and girls, beware when he's under sink
Of buns so pink!

Says, "The trouble's in toilet, I think"
But it's not pot that's got rotten stink
After clean-ing drain, push-ing snake down hole
Clean yourself! - Right
Down to brown hole!

"Plumber, friend", don't bend, or extend your end
End does offend!
Your end does offend
So offend
Don't upend
Your end does offend
Please, don't bend
Hide your e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-end!

OS lyrics might be here. © 2006 Tommy Turtle

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 3.8
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   2
 3   0
 4   1
 5   9

User Comments

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alvin rhodes - March 17, 2006 - Report this comment
Adagio - March 17, 2006 - Report this comment
That was so funny, TT!! You like doing that song or something? You make good use of it. : D 5's
John Barry - March 17, 2006 - Report this comment
The OS is one of my better compositions--check those album covers on the right. Plumb funny. 5s
AFW - March 17, 2006 - Report this comment
This is very funny...good job..5's
Rex - March 17, 2006 - Report this comment
Enjoyed this!
Stuart McArthur - March 17, 2006 - Report this comment
what alvin said - "hairy biscuit"! - LOL - you are very funny, TT - 555
Tommy Turtle - March 17, 2006 - Report this comment
alvin, thanks. Adagio, thanks, yes, I find the meter and rhyme scheme interesting, and the ominous tone clashes ludicrously with silly subjects. AFW, Rex, Stuart McArthur, thanks...

John Barry, I thought you were kidding, then Googled it... stunned to find you were in fact co-author of TOS, and worked with Anthony Newley, no less.... genuine celebrity writer in our midst.... you wrote both "Goldfinger" and the "Wasteland"/TS Eliot series?! Impressive versatility... I've been ripping off this OS repeatedly; had no idea it was yours... verrrrrry cool song!!!... As per Adagio, would like to continue so doing unless you object...?
Adagio - March 17, 2006 - Report this comment
Wow, John.....had no idea!! I love the song too!
Larry Hensley - March 18, 2006 - Report this comment
DKTOS, really good parody.
Red Ant - March 18, 2006 - Report this comment
Considering the number of plumbing challenges I've face this week I think showing butt crack would be the least of my worries. Lets see: Propane torch catching fire in my hand, check. Having a motorized snake seize up and having to manually pull 40 feet of it out of a line, check. Go to replace a toilet wax seal and find the flange is eroded badly, check. Finally, having to shut water off to an entire 200,000 sq ft building to replace two 1$ bathtub seals because all of the isolation valves are either seized or leak by, check. I'm beginning to think plumbers intentionally show cheek as a way to say 'kiss my *** for making me do this kind of stuff'. Oh, good parody here Tommy Turtle. 5s.
Phil Alexander - March 18, 2006 - Report this comment
Very cunningly written, TT, and a lot cleverer than a song about butt-cracks has any right to be :-)
TT - March 18, 2006 - Report this comment
Larry Hensley, thanks...Go rent the James Bond/007 movie, "Goldfinger", so John B. can get some more royalties... Red Ant, thanks; yes, call a plumber and just "look the other way" :)... Phil Alexander, thanks for comments from such a cunning and clever source.... and, a poor workman blames his tools (or material), no?
Turtle Tutor - March 19, 2006 - Report this comment
John A. Barry WAS kidding, TT. It's just a coincidence. While he is a master parodist, he is not a musician (at least, he says so in his bio). The composer, John Barry, is an accomplished musician with three Oscars for his musical scores. He was born in York, England and, has written the music for such blockbusters as the Bond films, Out of Africa, Dances With Wolves and Midnight Cowboy.
Turtle Tutor - March 19, 2006 - Report this comment
Correction, make that 5 Oscars and 4 Grammys for Mr. Barry. And 3 fives for your parody here.
Tommy Turtle (I think - not sure) - March 19, 2006 - Report this comment
Turtle Tutor, thanks for the tutoring... but now, really confused.... and, before reading your lesson, I submitted a parody today (for Mon. 19 Mar.) based on our John B.'s claims.... My pea-sized turtle brain wonders if "Turtle Tutor" is JAB's alter ego????
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - March 20, 2006 - Report this comment
What? Noone said this cracked them up yet? Shame on you, you should all be mooned by a plumber or something! :-)
TT - March 20, 2006 - Report this comment
Peter K1, thanks, good one!
Troy - March 22, 2006 - Report this comment
Hahahahaha any song about "plumbers crack"s me up!!! A lot of tradesmen seem to have this carelessness of indecent exposure from plumbers to carpenters to concreters to fat construction workers who operate jackhammers. I would say at least one in 50 of them wear loosely fitted lowrider pants/shorts which show off their notches, it's a worldwide problem in the tradesmen industry!!! Anyways all 5's from me for cracking me up with this piss funny parody!!!
TT - March 22, 2006 - Report this comment
Troy, thanks!

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