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Song Parodies -> "I've Gotten Into Your Shell (Turtle-Love)"

Original Song Title:

"I've Got You Under My Skin"

Original Performer:

The Four Seasons

Parody Song Title:

"I've Gotten Into Your Shell (Turtle-Love)"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Q.: How do porcupines "do it"? ... A.: Very carefully.

Q.: How do turtles do it? ... A.: With great difficulty: First, you have to break through her shell, so to speak... ;)

Inspired by Mark Scotti's comment here. ... Tons of covers, with many variations in minor lyrics, repeats, echoes, etc. -- so one can pretty much write it *any* way, and find a version to which it paces correctly. ;) Here's one.

I've gotten into your shell
Your plastron: sweetly, it parts for me
Your "cold-blooded" heart, I've really caught artfully (Shelly, own ya, Mydas)   [1]
I'm hot to ... thunder right in

Let's glide so ... down to my den
My bed: stonelime shelf in reef there: lover's chateau; hotel   [2]
Your scutes are so cute, can't resist: ensnarling below your shell
I got through ... your keratin   [3]

Your carapace: bony thing; come, I might
And partake of mating, my dear
In spite of the warring boys who sometimes will bite
With their beak on my cheek and my rear   [4]

Here you go, my flipper-tool, so clever, fit in (clever win) (ever, in)
Fuse our reptility; eggs upped in fertility (make a nest) (then go rest)   [5]
Full-moon light: a clue: sons and daughters, slew
Make new crop: from shore, they crawl in
'Cause I've gotten ... your shell, within

(Swim and swim) ('gain, begin)...   [6]

[repeat every 2-4 years for females; every year for males, of course ;) ]

[1] OS echo line being subbed: ("baby, baby, baby"). "Shelly" = common name among girls; his sweetie's name here. Guess her last name is Mydas, 'cuz whole thing = pun on green sea turtle genus and species: "Chelonia Mydas". ... OK, that sucked. Whatever... :)

  Turtles are ectotherms, varying their internal temperature according to the ambient environment, commonly called "cold-blooded". Little metaphoric pun there on her coyness. ;-D

[2] Yeah, yeah, it's "limestone" that's made from the shells of coral (living animals, unbeknownst to some), but ya got a better, turtle-related match for "to myself"?

[3] "scutes" - the bony plates that make up the turtle's upper shell (carapace) and lower shell (plastron). They are made of "keratin", a fibrous protein that is also the key component of human hair, nails, and the outer layer of our skin. When metabolized into filaments, as in the turtle's shell, it is among the toughest biological matter known.

Fun fact, that makes sense, really: The male's plastron is concave (curved inward) to accommodate the convex, bulging curve of the female's carapace (back or top). Picture two pieces of a puzzle -- oh, heck, you get the idea ...

[4] Some species of turtles will fight over a female (much as humans do, heh!). They'll bite for the right, and the sore losers often continue to bite at the winner, who probably isn't feeling much pain by then. ;)

Female green turtles nest by making a rather arduous climb up the beach, as they weigh much more on land than in water: Average adult weight is about 440 lb. (200 kg); the largest known being 870 lb. (395 kg). The process can take about an hour: finding the right spot; digging; then 30-45 minutes of laying an average of 100 - 200 eggs, during which they are in almost a hypnotic trance. Rude humans with flash cameras or flashlights can scare them away, resulting in no nest, and possibly a dead turtle. All lighting is banned during nesting and hatching season in many beachfront areas where turtles nest, for that reason and because the hatchlings instinctively swim toward the brightest light: the full moon on the ocean, or the car wash across the street.

After laying the eggs, Mommy then covers the nest by using the front flippers to push sand over it. This is both for the protection of the eggs from predators, and to attempt to disguise the location of the nest from same, although the turtle-tracks leading from water to nest and from nest to water are quite obvious to a human who sees them before they're obliterated by other foot traffic, rain, wind, etc. Utterly fatigued, the mommies struggle back down the beach, resting along the way, until the first waves crash over them, taking some of the weight off of them, whereupon they swim away far more easily.

This writer has been fortunate enough to have witnessed the entire process, from water's exit to return, several times, including one occasion where two mothers nested about 50 yards/meters from each other, and within about half an hour of each other. Also seen many tracks the next day, even when the nesting was missed. And rescued a couple of hatchlings, one crawling the wrong way (see "lights" above), the other struggling due to a large bite-mark in one rear flipper.

[6] Green turtles migrate long distances between feeding sites and nesting sites. Some swim more than 1,500 mi (2,500 km) to reach their spawning grounds. Mature turtles often return to the exact beach from which they hatched.

Females usually mate every two to four years. Males, naturally, visit the breeding areas every year, attempting to mate. (200 million years after turtles appeared, humans did, but has anything really changed? heh! ;)

Thanks, Mark!

OS written in 1936 by Cole Porter, sung since 1946 by Frank Sinatra, who released a recording in 1956, but The Four Seasons took it to a #9 chart hit in 1966. ... Pay no attention to those who claim some secret allusion to injecting heroin, even though another of Porter's famous hits included a verse that started, "I get no kicks from cocaine...", which was replaced (censored out) in later versions, after the drug-demonizing got into high (heh!) gear .. but that's another story.

© 2010 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   9

User Comments

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Patrick - October 07, 2010 - Report this comment
Another lesson in reproductive biology. Was always curious about that. Interaction between turtle and sheep would be hard to imagine without your help. I hate the new page format. Let's try to get it changed back. Can't see the parody writer's name.
AFW - October 07, 2010 - Report this comment
The turtle rides again! Quite the clinical description of turtle sex...Funtastic, as always
Where To Send Feedback On The New Design - October 07, 2010 - Report this comment
Patrick and others: All comments, pro or con, on the new design should be posted at this thread:

It only takes a minute to register.
Old Man Ribber - October 07, 2010 - Report this comment
Way to (slowly and awkwardly on land) run with this concept! Keep them up...we are far from being shell-shocked yet. ;D
Tommy Turtle - October 07, 2010 - Report this comment
Patrick: TT is nothing if not educational. :) Agree on the new format, worse for multiple reasons -- please let ChuckyG know your feelings, at the place posted above. Thanks for v/c.

AFW: LOL @ "rides! :) Thanks for v/c.

Old Man Ribber: LOL @ land differentiation - good use of the material. ... and anyone who hasn't been shocked by the shell yet probably won't ever be. It's Darwinian -- all the easily-shocked readers are long gone. :-D (thanks as usual.)
Shelly Splinters - October 07, 2010 - Report this comment
555 for the Discovery Channel-worthy fooTTnotes... and the parody wasn't bad, either! Match of the day: "My bed: stonelime shelf in reef there: lover's chateau; hotel"...Whew!  
TJC - October 07, 2010 - Report this comment
So, basically you're constantly walking around with your own love nest/score pad--kinda like a porta-hottie! Great stuff TT... evocative of Keats finest love sonnets set to AIR guitar!
Christie Marie M - October 07, 2010 - Report this comment
A great parody under your shell! Kudos for Mark for inspiring you to write this parody from his comment. Allow me to shell out 3 sets of 5's!
Tommy Turtle - October 08, 2010 - Report this comment
Shelly Splinters: I think I once dated your cousin, Horn-a Summer -- we hit the springs pretty hard, until the fall of disco .... ;) (S:) Thanks for snatching the match, natch! :-D (oh, and those splinters will work their way out eventually - sorry about that! :)

TJC: Keats and TTeats -- hmmm. like that.... LOL @ "porta-hottie! The only problem is carrying around the inflation pump.... :-)

Christie Marie M: Yeah, I'm sorry Mark isn't here to see it -- will try to remember to point him to it next time I see him, or if you see him first, cool. .. always grateful for inspirations. *And* for shelling out kind votes and comments! Thanks, CMM! -- uh, your B7 ready for Friday? Hope to see it!
Mark Scotti - October 08, 2010 - Report this comment
I am so humbled to having you spawn(oops, turtles don't spawn), this great one from my suggestion. Getting this vote in late. i also wrote you many accolades on your 400th...
Andy P - October 08, 2010 - Report this comment
LOL @ reptility & warring/beak/cheek lines
Tommy Turtle - October 08, 2010 - Report this comment
Mark Scotti: You shouldn't be humbled; you should be proud! .. at least, assuming that you're proud of the result, heh! :) ... Always a pleasure to receive a great inspiration and run with it -- I'm just glad you saw it today, else I would have had to remember to point you to "your baby" at your next post. Thanks for v/c/i! (inspiration).

Andy P: Those were among the author's fave lines, too - thanks for v/c!

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