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Song Parodies -> "Love Handles"

Original Song Title:

"Love Child"

Original Performer:

Diana Ross and the Supremes

Parody Song Title:

"Love Handles"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Ooh, ooh, dimply fat...

You know I don't just feel fat
What I see on me is real fat
In that mirror I see reflected
These damn disrespected
Love handles (love handles), ugly rolls of flab
Love handles (love handles), so big you can grab
Love handles (love handles), never go away
Love handles (love handles), hear me when I say...

I started my life
With this cute, little, dimply ol' baby fat (baby fat)
Now I'm grown up and you can see just where it sat
It all collected on my thighs
And so my jeans went up one size
It seems, each year


This cake I'm contemplatin'
Is worth the pain of waitin'
I'll only end up hatin'
Those bulges I'll be creatin'
Love handles (love handles), people stop and stare
Love handles (act like), like I don't care
Love handles (love handles), words I've come to fear
Love handles (sittin' on), sittin' on my rear

(Puke on, baby) Ooh, ooh, baby...

I go to work
In dresses nice and loose that go below my knees (below my knees)
I tell myself don't cross my legs so no one sees
The pork collected on my butt
I'd like to grab a knife and cut
It all away


Don't think that I don't diet
Each diet I see, I try it
But no matter what, I'm still bearin'
This cellulite that I'm wearin'

Love handles (love handles), food goes past my lips
And then, it goes
Right to my hips

But I'll always love food
I'll always love food
Love handles
I'll always love food
I'll always love food...

Ooh, ooh, love handles...
c 2006 Tommy Turtle

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 2.8
How Funny: 2.0
Overall Rating: 2.2

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   1
 3   1
 4   0
 5   1

User Comments

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Michael Pacholek - January 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Keep eating like that, and you'll be one Turtle who's really coming out of his shell. Keep writing like this, and you'll be one of the top-level Amirighters in no time.
Tommy Turtle - February 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Michael, sorry to take so long getting back here to thank you for your kindness and encouragement, especially meaningful as the above was one of the posts on the Turtle's first swim here.

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