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Song Parodies -> "Nan-cy, What Rot: Nan-Cy (Pelosi)"

Original Song Title:

"To Be, Or Not To Be"

Original Performer:

William Shakespeare: Hamlet

Parody Song Title:

"Nan-cy, What Rot: Nan-Cy (Pelosi)"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Inspired by a certain musician's one-liner play on TOS in a comment here.

Nan-cy, what rot: Nan-cy, such putrefaction!
Whether Pelosi-or B. Hussein, we suffer
The stings and errors out of San Francisco
Or is Bar-ack the cause of all our troubles?
Could, by impeaching, end them? Good-bye, you creep!
Pro wh*re; in debt so deep we lay, no end
To bankrupts and the thousand plagues of pox
You freshly add to. 'Tis abomination
So stoutly to be ditched. You lie, each peep;
We weep; you've smashed our dream. Oy, worse than Dub' [1]
For in her ev'ry breath, what demons come!
Would she were muffled up; a quart of oil
Dumped down her maws. She's a reject
Who makes calamity of all our lives.
For who would bear the drips and thorns of thine;
Ms. Pelosi's wrong; the health plan's costuming:
The costs so high above what they all say;
Insolvency, she offers, and still churns
That patients merit such care unworthy; fake!
When I myself might own decisions make
With my own doctor? Who would Leftists bear?
To stunt and fret during their teary strife,
But that the dread of something worse than death:
The USA: poor country! Badly torn;
No leadership returns; muzzle us still;
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than go to doctors drawn by Gov. lotto.
Thus Walter Reed makes self-care more enthrall [2]
And thus this Congressperson's resolutions
Are sicker, more, and so half-assed in thought,
And enterprises, private: piss and moaning;
With Fed's disgorge, the currency: awry [3]
To politics: reaction. Look out, now!
The d*mn Pelosi! B*tch, from your orations
Is USA dismember'd.

[1] Didn't think things could get any worse than under Dubya? Surprise!

[2] Walter Reed Army Medical Center (WRAMC) is the United States Army's flagship medical center.

In February 2007, The Washington Post published a series of investigative articles outlining cases of alleged neglect (physical deterioration, bureaucratic nightmares, etc) at WRAMC, as reported by outpatient soldiers and their family members. A scandal and media furor quickly developed, resulting in the firing of the WRAMC commanding General, the resignation of Secretary of the Army Francis J. Harvey (reportedly at the request of Secretary of Defense Robert Gates), the forced resignation of Lt. Gen. Kevin C. Kiley, commander from 2002 to 2004, congressional committee hearings, and commentary from numerous politicians, including then-President George W. Bush and Vice-President Dick Cheney. Several independent governmental investigations are ongoing, and the controversy has spread to other military health facilities and the Department of Veterans Affairs health care system.

Our soldiers, who risk their lives for our safety and freedom, deserve the *best* care. This is what they get -- and *these* are the Government bureaucrats who supposedly can give us much better care than the current system. The present system needs improvement, but if WRAMC is any example, the Government isn't the answer.

[3] As this is being written, gold has closed for several days in a row above USD $1,000 per ounce, an all-time high, as the dollar continues to weaken versus other currencies. Gold is the traditional and proven hedge (protection) against paper money declining in value. As the US Federal Reserve Board prints billions for bailouts, and most likely will have to print another trillion or so for whatever healthcrap emerges, this counterfeit currency can do nothing but dilute the value of existing currency, and so investors are responding accordingly -- and proving what's just been said.

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: On Wednesday, September 30, 2009, Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle Productions will lift the curtain on their Big Project. To all of our Jewish friends, a happy Rosh Hashanah and good Yom Kippur. May you be absolved of your sins and enjoy a blessed and happy New Year. We hope to provide you with a good start.

Either or both of us may be MIA at times until then, as we go through the many dress rehearsals, followed by (TT hopes) undress rehearsals. Apologies in advance for any and all songs, comments, etc. missed.

© 2009 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

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blackjack21 - September 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Yeah...what he said, only with 555 at the end.
metaphorsbwithu - September 18, 2009 - Report this comment
But ... it's Bush's fault! ;-)

"Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind; the thief doth fear each Bush an officer." - WS
TJC - September 18, 2009 - Report this comment
What spite through gonzo winner breaks... oh hell, she deserves it! Great solilotheein' (per usual)... You up to the Baker's Dozen mark on these gems yet?
rob - September 18, 2009 - Report this comment
from hillarys fake southern accent durring her campaign to pelosis tears, ya gotta wonder who are the fools they are trying to impress? liberal voters. mission accomplished. it's ALL YOURS NOW libs. bush is gone and now it's odumba that gets the war for oil. fun isnt it ?
Mark Scotti - September 18, 2009 - Report this comment
To paraphrase a person of great insight, OLIVER HARDY, "Here's another nice mess we've gotten ourselves into!!!!!" Fivers...
Old Man Ribber - September 18, 2009 - Report this comment
What S.O.B.s these mortals fool! ;D
JMasta - September 18, 2009 - Report this comment
What, what?
John Barry - September 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Nice job on the Botox queen. I'm no fan of hers, but I do share her concern about the reactionary wack jobs running amok. I've seen some up close, and they are very scary.
Christie Marie M - September 18, 2009 - Report this comment
I don't always agree with Pelosi's speech, but from what you wrote, she sounds like an arrogant b**ch! I also agree with your first footnote at the fact that things can't get any worse than being under Dubya. And even if Barack is running the nation, the economy is getting from bad to worse, in my opinion. And as for the value of the dollar, funny you should mention it because I was watching a doc on History channel about printing money and making coins and it got me thinking that the value of the dollar would be lost if they print more money. Well, great take on political soliloquizing. But I doubt that its nothing new. 5's!
Fiddlegirl - September 18, 2009 - Report this comment
LOL @ "Good-bye, you creep!"

Thou art the winner of our diss content... ;)
Tommy Turtle - September 18, 2009 - Report this comment
blackjack21: With a "thanks" at the end for you. Hope you're getting a better deal from your dealer than we are from Pelosi.

metaphorsbwithu: Actually, it's substantially Clinton's fault (the economy) in the short run, and Woodrow Wilson's (another Dem pres., in 1913) in the long run, as this writer has written elsewhere. But no repeat of the MBA thesis here, just thanks -- and great quote! :)

TJC: LOL at the opener! .. .actually, only seven of Hamlet -- maybe it just seems like more? (hears readers yawning). .... thanks for v/c, TJ!

rob: You can fool some of the people all of the time -- mostly leftists, and Hillary, O., and NP continue do so. Yep, Obama had all the answers -- not! Thanks for v/c.

Mark Scotti: Laurels to you for v/c! So funny, I can hardly Stan it!

Old Man Ribber: ... and be! And to think that peeps say that TT pulls the wool over their eyes ... thanks for v/c!

JMasta: That, that (the thing above, up at the top of the page: the parody, and the factual footnotes that support it).

John Barry: I too fear reactionary wack jobs, just as I fear left-wing wack jobs, who are just as scary in their own "right" (ouch!). The country seems to swing from one to the other; or often, both at once... thanks for v/c.

Christie Marie M: I'm sorry that comment #1 was so unclear. Please re-read. I was trying to say that while some people thought things couldn't get any worse than they were, that in fact, things *have* gotten even worse under O. and his homes. Please forgive my lack of clarity -- I'll try harder in the future, to be more explicit. .... Your Econ 101 documentary led you to absolutely the correct conclusion -- and it's been happening since the money-printing Federal Reserve Board was created in 1913. See comment to m4bu. Thanks for v/c!

CMM, btw, $10,000 in 1913 would be equal to $218,014.14 today, meaning that the dollar is worth only 1/22 of what it was before the Fed. Or to put it another way, $10,000 today is worth only $458.69 in 1913 dollars. Either way, it means that the dollar has lost more than 95% of its value since the creation of the Fed.

Fiddlegirl: ROFLMAO!!!! (crawls under net to shake hands, unlike Serena).
John Barry - September 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Point taken, TT, though I don't believe even the wackiest of the lefty wack jobs are brandishing guns at rallies and calling for the death of national leaders. What ya got to a large extent is a bunch of dumbf**k racist crackers who simply can't abide the fact that a man of mixed-race heritage is president of the U.S. Sooner or later one of these loons is gonna try to assassinate Obama, I'm willing to bet.
Tommy Turtle - September 18, 2009 - Report this comment
John Barry, point taken back, although I don't think it's quite as much of a sheer racial issue as many others do. I think there is much sincere dissatisfaction, totally unrelated to his race, and playing the race card is a convenient way to dismiss that dissatisfaction. Otherwise, why weren't these same people demonstrating vigorously against the appointments of Sec. of State. Gen. Colin Powell or Sec. of State Condi Rice, both of whom at times had been mentioned as possible GOP nominees to succeed W. ?(Q.E.D, I think.)

To the extent that various members of the Left have called for varying degrees of interference of my Constitutional right to keep a weapon in my home or car for lawful self-defense (I do both), I think the brandishing of weapons is a dramatic demonstration of their opposition to curtailment, in all but a few truly psycho cases.

Lee H. Oswald was not by any means a right-winger; au contraire, he had had contacts with Moscow, IIRC. (John Hinkley was delusional in thinking Reagan a rival for Jodie Foster's affections.)

I'm much less scared of any individual wacko, whom I might possibly avoid, run from, or defend myself against, than from a Government taking my hard-earned money and my right to make my own decisions, when I not only cannot resist or avoid, but can be forcefully jailed for resisting.

"I love my country, but I fear my Government". No individual in history -- no mass murderer, whatever -- has ever approached the harm done by those who wield the power of Government, from Caligula to Stalin to FDR. No, he didn't kill people (except through possible neglect of intel re Pearl Harbor) just the Constitution, and stole 43% of our life's savings overnight, etc. ad nauseam).

Race isn't the issue. None of those people would be demonstrating against Pres. Powell or Pres. Rice, not that I necessarily support either, just making the point. We're supposed to be color-blind, but it's the Left that sees race everywhere, just as Leftist Sotomayor saw gender and ethnicity instead of justice. Race is *not* the issue. Thanks for an intelligent and rational discussion -- far too few of those around here when POVs differ.
Condi Rice @ John A. Barry - September 18, 2009 - Report this comment
John, please see my comment at Matthias' "Redneck" song.
President Barack Obama - September 19, 2009 - Report this comment
Mr. Barry and Mr. Turtle, thank you for attending my town hall meeting and sharing your views with me. I would refer you to the following press release:

WASHINGTON – President Barack Obama said Friday that angry criticisms about his health care agenda are driven by an intense debate over the proper role of government — and not by racism.

"Are there people out there who don't like me because of race? I'm sure there are," Obama told CNN. "That's not the overriding issue here."

The nation's first black president spoke about the issue of race during a battery of interviews on Friday. In a media blitz aimed at pounding home his health care message, he taped interviews with ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN and Univision to be shown during the networks' Sunday morning talk shows.

Time and again, Obama was asked about whether the tenor of the health care debate turned nasty because of undercurrents in racism. Former President Jimmy Carter raised the point prominently this week when he said the vitriol was racially motivated. Not so, Obama said.

"There's been a long-standing debate in this country that is usually that much more fierce during times of transition, or when presidents are trying to bring about big changes," Obama told CNN.

To NBC News, Obama put it this way: "It's an argument that's gone on for the history of this republic, and that is, What's the right role of government? How do we balance freedom with our need to look out for one another? ... This is not a new argument, and it always evokes passions."

Obama said most people across the country are just trying to follow the debate and figure out how proposed changes would help them.

"Now there are some who are, setting aside the issue of race, actually I think are more passionate about the idea of whether government can do anything right," Obama said told ABC News. "And I think that that's probably the biggest driver of some of the vitriol."

Obama told CBS News that the media was partly to blame:
"The 24-hour news cycle and cable television and blogs and all this — they focus on the most extreme elements on both sides," Obama said. "They can't get enough of conflict. It's catnip to the media right now."
So you see, Mr. Barry, while I appreciate your concerns and your participation in the discussion, I assure you and the American people that Mr. Turtle is correct, and that race is not the overriding issue here. Thank you both for working to help make our country great and for peacefully exercising your rights of free speech.
President Barack Obama - September 19, 2009 - Report this comment
I said that it's not about race, but I'm JAFP (just another f--cking politician) and I have to take this line for political survival. Jimmy Carter, who knows cracker land all too well, was right.
Alan D. - September 19, 2009 - Report this comment
To Mr. PeeBO - Cracker land? My, my! You should read some of the history and commentary on Mr. Carter's run for the governorship against Carl Sanders in 1970, and his use of racist rhetotic and advertising. Add to that his well-known and documented distaste for a certain ancient religion, and I'm sure you can discover no end of parody material. Some have said that Mr. Carter knew how to play the race card back then in advancing a political agenda, and he is only doing what he knows how to do now. As for me, I'd prefer to keep things more entertaining and fun.
Timmy1000 - September 19, 2009 - Report this comment
Another Shakespearean tragedy (Nancy, that is) well done. I get the impression that she is doing more to bring US down and BO can't or doesn't control her. There are probaly nut jobs on both sides of the political spectrum, both in Govt. and outside brandishing weapons. Anyway, good luck on your Big Project that you noted - it's not Amiright?
Tommy Turtle - September 19, 2009 - Report this comment
Mr. President and Alan D: I believe I'll bow out gracefully here and let you two work it out. Yes, Alan D., I too would prefer to keep it entertaining and fun. If the supporters of Pelosi, or anyone else, for that matter, can't take a joke, .... 'em. Thanks for comments.

Timmy1000: LOL @ Nancy/tragedy! Agree with all... and yes, the Big Project is most *definitely* for AmIRight, and the curtain goes up Wednesday, September 30. Hope to see you there! Thanks for v/c!
CMM @ TT - September 19, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks for clearing up that first comment, Tommy, though I didn't find anything unclear about it! I knew what you meant. For awhile, I thought that my comment is unclear at first, since I have the tendency to make unclear comments sometimes. Anyways, as for Nancy Pelosi, I'll never forget that she was emotional...or rather faking emotion over fear of political violence. Now that is "sad!" It got me thinking about those times John Boehner cried in his speeches about taking on Iraq troops. At least he cried for real. And you should check this article titled "Hannity mocks Pelosi's "phony tears""crocodile tears" at You may get a kick out of it and John Boehner is on there as well.
TT @ CMM - September 19, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks much for the link, but I do believe I've had quite enough example's of Peloser-ness for one lifetime, either mine or hers... but I don't believe any emotion ever shows through what John Barry so aptly called "the Botox Queen", does it? :) And thanks for clarifying my clarifying of your comment (was that clear?) ... anyway, always nice to hear from you! Thanks for stopping by again!
Crystal Balle - March 08, 2011 - Report this comment
"[3] As this is being written, gold has closed for several days in a row above USD $1,000 per ounce, an all-time high, ...Gold is the traditional and proven hedge (protection) against paper money declining in value. As the US Federal Reserve Board prints billions ... counterfeit currency can do nothing but dilute the value of existing currency,"

Today's gold price: USD $1,434. Looks like reality has the final word on who's right, as it always does.

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