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Song Parodies -> "TT To TJC: What Fine Skull Session!"

Original Song Title:

"To Be, Or Not To Be"

Original Performer:

William Shakespeare / Hamlet

Parody Song Title:

"TT To TJC: What Fine Skull Session!"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Posted as a comment to TJC's parody of yesterday, and makes little sense outside of that context. So if ya haven't already read it, fill in the void in yer life, and read TJC -- and Hamlet, too :)

Sub he: hot! TJC makes fine impression;
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to stuff 'er
The stingy arrow (What outrageous fortune!)
Or raise alarms against wee-wee's wee nubbles
Gender opposing: bend him. To lie, like creep --
What boor! -- and forgo sheep; instead, pretend:
A hard stake, and a thousand pounds of rocks
That flash, 'neath thereto. To lie; how cheap!
For deep, perchance maid gleam; ay, there she rub
For when they sleep together, screams may come
When she has sloughed it off, this poor lil' coil
And gives guffaws. There's no respect
To make, by cramming in stuff, such long pipe
For who would bare the "whip" so scorned; the crime -
Th' possessor's wrong; the proud man's detume-ly
The wang of despised love, because, betray --
The impotence to or'fice, and the spurns
So patent, merit, for his earthy fakes
When he himself might his coitus make
With a bare mann'kin? Who would, fertile, bear? --
To grunt and sweat with man appearing rife
But that in bed, finds someone hooked on meth
Discovers his effront'ry; star, *not*: porn!
No reveler returns; muzzles this swill,
And makes him rather bear the Willy, have
Then lie to others of "below" hot stuff
Thus Spanish Fly makes towers of the small
And thus ablative "two-inch" begs solution;
He's stickied o'er with a male cast he bought
And advertisers with great pitch, promote it
And disregard that FTC: awry [1]
And promise dames much action. -- Soft, it, now!
She barely feel ya! -- Limp, just thy oralin's:
Remembered of poor-membered

[1] FTC = Federal Trade Commission, which investigates fraudulent or deceptive advertising in the US.

"Hung *There*, 'Rover', Duh, Reigns Bro!" © TJC. All else © 2009 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin - May 29, 2009 - Report this comment
hilarious...particularly liked the spanish fly line
Leo Keough - May 29, 2009 - Report this comment
Methinks I hear a long-dead Speare Shaking in the grave...Very funny!!!...555!!!
TJC - May 29, 2009 - Report this comment
OMG!!! (Octavius-isimo, MacBeth-tastic, Gloucester-riffic!)

I feel like Soliloqueen For A Day! (in the least poofy sense of the term, nat'churl-ly!)
Can't believe you pulled that off in an hour or so... had to be one of the longest comments ever, nearly achieving 1/3rd average TT footnote bytage!
This stingy arrow'd, gender opposing, detumessy, Spanish Fly guzzlin', poor-membered, despised-wang of a bare mann'kin thanks ewe from the bottom of his, er, part!
Yer tewe kind and TooToo much, my friend!
Timmy1000 - May 29, 2009 - Report this comment
Just what is needed - some class for this site. Great write, TT. I'm looking forward to the movie version starring Sir Anthony Hopkins and Dame Judi Dench (music by Sir Paul McCartney).
uKnowVotrix - May 29, 2009 - Report this comment
He named SenorTaTa ~ He promise mucho Action ~ He sips NorCAL Pinot ~ He downs Texas XX' s ! Stay thirsty, Hombre !
Chance Gollnick - May 29, 2009 - Report this comment
great job tommy but im honestly getting discouraged nobody on this site notices my parodies it sucks.
Christie Marie M - May 29, 2009 - Report this comment
Wow, love the soliloquy between AmIRight's renowned icons. I did read TJC's comment before reading your parody. I can relate. Are you guys thinking of a career in theater anytime? Anyways, great parody you wrote. 555.
AFW - May 29, 2009 - Report this comment
YouTube-ee or not YouTube-ee...definitely, YouTube-ee
Tommy Turtle - May 29, 2009 - Report this comment
alvin, thanks... know yer fond of Fly-fishin' :)
Leo Keough: He's been shaken many times by TT... see comment to Timmy1k, and thanks for v/c.

TJC: Ya can't ignite the Space Shuttle with a book of matches. Even the gasoline in yer car's cylinders takes a 20,000-volt spark to ignite. Thanks for being that 20k-volt spark many times. Of course, it helps that there's always a lot of gas around, waiting to be lit. hehehe!

Timmy1000: Thanks... if ya like, go to TT's page (quick way: click the author name at the title at the top), sort the table by clicking on "Performer", and TT's other four Hamlets will group together at the bottom. Warning: one is a "little" racy! ... thanks for v/c, T.
uKnowVotrix: Gracias, Dama!
Chance Gollnick: I've been away from here for a couple of weeks -- you remember, I plugged you once. I'm hoping to be here at least a few days next week and will check yours out. Two questions: Do you regularly v/c on others that you like (no fake flattery or BS)? That gets you noticed. 2): Would you accept constructive suggestions if offered? Most don't bother, but TT is willing, if he thinks there are some quality issues to be addressed -- and if you're truly interested. Could go look at some of yours I've missed, when I get time. Let me know.
Christie Marie M: We've already had a career in radio together. In addition to TT's stage, movie, stand-up, voice-over work, and commercially-produced and -aired parodies, TJC and TT collaborated on:

Thanks much for the very kind comments and vote, CMM. And lovin' those cherries!
WUFPAKGRL - May 29, 2009 - Report this comment
YOU, Mr. T, are an evil, evil person, deliciously so (and that IS directed at both of you)
Yorick Montague Capulet Banquo III - May 29, 2009 - Report this comment
Rare bodkin from AIR God kin me thinks...
Tommy Turtle - May 29, 2009 - Report this comment
AFW: (comments crossed in typing, sorry). verrry clever! thanks, A. :)

WUFPAKGRL: Never denied it... and thank you! ;-)
Bill Shakes; Peer, Medley - May 30, 2009 - Report this comment
YMCB III: At last! more Yorick! I knew him -- some day he'd show! A man of miniscule test' ...

But soft! What pipe through yonder zipper quakes?
It is the least, and Juliet rates it 1!
Arise, poor 1, and fill the ravenous moon
Already fail: relief, that thou, poor made, have hard-impaired wee-wee!

Rome-aroma, no! Wherefore fart though, Romeo?
A fart by any other name would smell as reek.

BANQUO: Where art mine bailout? I wisheth for my banquota just like all the other nitwits got their banquota. Else(inore), my Bank will become a Ghost!
Yorikth Lath Gathp - May 30, 2009 - Report this comment
Giveneth I am but a toothleth, cortexthleth thkull, I hath viableth comebacth in but markedth pauthitieths...

And thuthly, I calleth thou on thy 'peer' jibe, which mitheth the mark by marginth motht greviouthly humongouth...
Chance Gollnick - May 30, 2009 - Report this comment
yea ill accept comments cause i want to do comedy music for a career and im willing to respect help when i get it but if you want to help me with tips i would definetly appricate it dude.
Chance G - May 30, 2009 - Report this comment
btw are you a signed artist? cause you seem like it.
Chance Gollnick - May 30, 2009 - Report this comment
and i dont care what i gotta do i want to make it with my music so . i gotta work i know but im ready and focused.
Tommy Turt;le - May 30, 2009 - Report this comment
Yorick: Sorry for the misunderstanding. My bad. The conceited snot was titling himself Shakes' peer :)

Chance Gollnick: This is not a good time, but over the next few days, will attempt to read some others and provide feedback. ... I have an arrangement with a radio producer who will consider anything I submit to him, and buy and produce it if it meets his needs. We never signed a formal contract. We talked about it at first when we were just getting to know each other, but decided it wasn't necessary. He's good for his word, and so am I. No longer currently active as an actor, model, or voice-over, but still hold cards from SAG, AFTRA, and AEA, and still get residuals from a couple of movies I did back then. GL. ... ps" Try your material out at open-mic night or something. This isn't the only venue, and sometimes what flies here doesn't there, and vice versa. Live audience feedback tells all.
Timmy1000 - May 31, 2009 - Report this comment
I did go back and read the other Hamlet's - very entertaining. The "TV" one was too close to home for me as I mulled over my own Bad tv habits; made me feel guilty about buying that last vowel from Vanna. Thanks, TT
Tommy Turtle - May 31, 2009 - Report this comment
Timmy1000, thank *you*! ... glad you enjoyed.
DonaDosXXs - May 31, 2009 - Report this comment
. . to that Cowboy who ' will shake spear ' for honey . . (( x ))
Chance Gollnick - May 31, 2009 - Report this comment
You can give me comments on your on time, im not lookin to be like in your face like oh yeah notice me comment me becuase that just gets annoying to me. but thanks for just replying and lettin me know. i appricate it.
Tommy Turtle - June 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Dona DosXXs: My favorite beer! seriously! Will shake spear for you anytime, honey! xoxo Thanks for v/c, Lady Dos Equis!

Chance Gollnick: No problem, will do. Continue to read the parodies that get lots of favorable comments, and observe what works and what doesn't. Continue to read the parodies that you personally enjoyed, and leave a vote and comment about why you liked it. Nothing fancy. If you read one and have constructive criticism to offer, that's cool, too, so long as you justify what you say and why you said it. Sincerity and active participation will help get you noticed in a very large field. I'll try to review some more of your songs during the week and see if anything aside from my previous comment comes to mind as to why they're not getting hits. Hang in there, bro: success is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration. (Woody Allen said 90% of success was just showing up. He had a point. Keep showing up. But don't molest your step-daughters, either.)

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