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Song Parodies -> "He's A Turtle (Gene Pitney Tribute Part V)"

Original Song Title:

"He's A Rebel"

Original Performer:

The Crystals / Gene Pitney

Parody Song Title:

"He's A Turtle (Gene Pitney Tribute Part V)"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Continuing the tribute to singer/songwriter Gene Pitney, who passed away 5 April 2006. Gene wrote this song, which was recorded by Darlene Love and The Blossoms but credited by producer Phil Spector to The Crystals. Donna Summer apparently did a completely different song with the same title. OS lyrics here. Midi here.
See the way he crawls down the street
Clumsy fellow; flippers for feet
Tuck his head inside his shell
If danger, any sign or smell --
Him befell

Hold him in my hand; I'm so proud
'Cause at least he's quiet, not loud
Chipmunks chatter; think they're smart
Cats: antisocial; dogs will fart
Honey, hear me from my hea - ea -art --

He's a turtle, and it's hard to tell if he's... girl or boy
He's a turtle; he's forgetful, dull, dim-witted, dumb and coy
And just because he's not as fast as... everybody else is
That's no reason why he can't deftly do my bris!

He is so much fun to me
Hangs around so faithfully
'Cause he's not a slowpoke, no, no, no
He's not a low bloke, no, no, no
To me!


If they don't like wit his way
They won't like my transcript today
I'll be typing right by his side, as I sa - a -ay --

He's a turtle, but he puns as any pro... Penguin would
He's a turtle, and I care not if he rhymes as he should
And though he write without heed whether... anybody else read
That's no reason why we can't share seaweed
Virtu'lly, he's cyber-me
Good transcriber, try to be
'Cause he's apropos folk, so! so! so!
He's not a faux joke, no! no! no!
To me!

(He's not a faux joke, no, no, no)
(He's not a faux joke, no, no, no)
(He's not a faux joke, no, no, no)
(He's not a faux joke, no, no, no)


Love me, love my turtle. © 2006 Tommy Turtle.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.5
How Funny: 3.2
Overall Rating: 3.5

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   2

User Comments

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Stephen Harrington - April 11, 2006 - Report this comment
I don't know the original song or band, but one thing about it, it looks very well wrote.
alvin rhodes - April 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Stuart McArthur - April 11, 2006 - Report this comment
in my opinion, and from the evidence I've seen, turtles pun even BETTER than any pro penguins would - the title was already funny, TT - 555
Larry Hensley - April 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Fast moving parody
TT - April 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Stephen, alvin, Stuart, Larry, thanks.

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