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Song Parodies -> "I'm Badgin' (Henry Louis Gates)"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

John Lennon

Parody Song Title:

"I'm Badgin' (Henry Louis Gates)"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

OK, I lied -- this week's "Imagine" trilogy is now a quadrilogy. Not intended, though -- was going to call it a night, when this blinding flash of light struck -- which merely proves the point made here about inspiration.

I'm badgin' priv'leged haven
Professor, tenure high
No I-D, show us
Screams at us, "Why should I?"
Imagine all the burglars
Shouting, "Hip Hooray"

I'm badgin'; mad, whole country
My job is hard to do
A job you kill or die for
Teach race relations, too
Imagine all these people
Telling me to cease

Henry Gates, he's a schemer
Now he's "hot" and having fun
If had his way, he'd enjoin us
And our job would be undone

Imagine your possessions
Get stolen by some man
He tells the cops, "Get lost, Boys"
"You're Brotherhood, Ar'yan" [1]
Imagine: ID, shown us
'Stead of insults hurled

B.O. says, "Stupid!" (Gee, Sir)
And I don't deserve a gun
But beer one day will rejoin us
And undo what Gates has done

[1] For non-US readers, the Aryan Brotherhood is a small band of White Supremacists, recognized by almost every other white American as a bunch of total nut-cases.

Twenty minutes flat. © 2009 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   15

User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - July 31, 2009 - Report this comment
Another teachable moment! Thanks and well done. ;D
Fiddlegirl - July 31, 2009 - Report this comment
Applause, Applause!!!
Christie Marie M - July 31, 2009 - Report this comment
Quadrilogy on your art of "Imagine", TT! I could "imagine" you to be another John A Barry writing numerous parodies of this song, no? It's all good! 555.
John Barry - July 31, 2009 - Report this comment
Wie Gates? Obama confirms critics who say he's a "lite" weight. Quantity, not quality, is my motto, Christie--thanks for the mention.
blackjack21 - July 31, 2009 - Report this comment
Inspiration moves in mysterious ways. :-D Best one of your foursome and all fives on the scorecard.
TJC - July 31, 2009 - Report this comment
I agree with BJ21! This one in particular had a mellifluously poetic feel about it... why, you've nearly made The Gates Of Hell seem homey n' welcoming!
alvin - July 31, 2009 - Report this comment
nice bit o' bashin'
Mark Scotti - July 31, 2009 - Report this comment
Wonderful story telling TT! I have my own take coming out on Monday. But this was realllly good!
Tommy Turtle - July 31, 2009 - Report this comment
Old Man Ribber: Thank you, kind sir!

Fiddlegirl: (has no idea how hard it is for a turtle to bow, but:) Thanks, Thanks!!!

Christie Marie M and John Barry: Thanks, but no thanks. As mentioned, three were intended before the week started; this one was accidental (like some families lol). Not saying would never do this again *if it's appropriate*, but as for doing hundreds -- John said it himself: You start going for quantity instead of quality. And when that happened, it was a sad day for AIR, IMHO, or at least for moi, who as a noob idolized John and strove very hard to emulate him, even to the point of a little friendly rivalry. I miss those days and the incredible quality that he used to put out, and that only he could. (Heck, TT caught flak back then for his 8th or 9th parody of "Goldfinger".) Thanks for the v/c, CMM.

John Barry: Superb opener! -- knew you still had it in you! ... hmm, what if HLG had told the cops he was Bill Gates instead? Think it would have flown better? ... afraid that Obamaniacs are receiving the disillusionment that many of us predicted (see OMR's "Green Czar" today), but if you avoided being mesmerized by the oratory or paralyzed by liberal guilt, it wasn't hard to see that there was no substance behind The Wizard Of D'ohs.

blackjack21: It does indeed! Thanks for the comment and scorecard, and may you get all hole-y Tens and all your dealers Fives.

TJC: Good to know, as I expect to be calling it "home" for eternity -- esp. for certain puns :) Guess it just shows that parodies are like puns -- sometimes the unintentional ones are the best. :) thanks for v/c/t/j/c!

alvin: thanks

Mark Scotti: Mondays are usually very bad here (aren't they for everyone?), so, frequently AWOL then, but will try to catch it -- or later in the week if not. It's certain to be excellent! Thannnnks!
Timmy1000 - July 31, 2009 - Report this comment
I wondered when one of the Gates' parodies would show up; well crafted TT on and event that most of us just scratch our head and say "huh?" John Stewart had a good take on the beer in the White House invitation, wryly pointing out what a good mix it would be to have the two come and mix discussions of race with drinking alcohol.
Tommy Turtle - July 31, 2009 - Report this comment
Timmy1000, I did see that Stewart episode, and it was indeed a great line. Personally, I think Obama should have offered Gates a Colt .45 Malt Liquor in a 40-oz. bottle. Now, *that* would be street creds! (and funny!) ... maybe after a few beers, they'll take it outside and settle it once and for all? hehe! ... thanks for v/c!
John Jenkins - August 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Excellent substitutions and excellent BO spoof.
TT - August 01, 2009 - Report this comment
John Jenkins, thanks for reading, voting, and commenting.
AFW - August 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Well, alright Sir, open the Gates and there they go...a spiffy spoof
TT - August 01, 2009 - Report this comment
AFW, (lol) thanks.
Andria - August 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Excellent parody, TT, and I'll have to give you 5s for it. Although it's a stereotype and a borderline-racist one at that, I second your idea about Obama and Professor Gates drinking forties. That would be funny, and it would leave many people either delighted or disgusted. If we had had an overweight female curly-haired redhead as president, then maybe I wouldn't have gotten so many citations when I was living in my car, or so many people accusing me of doing illegal things in my neighborhood. (FTR, I look nothing like any of my neighbors.) I look forward to reading more of your parodies, and I just might have one or two (or three, or four, or the maximum five) of my own come Monday.
Andria (again) - August 02, 2009 - Report this comment
I meant I'd get MORE citations and accusations, not less, if our president looked like me instead of like many other middle-aged African-American men. I wish I could vote again, otherwise there would be more 5s for you.
Andy Primus - August 02, 2009 - Report this comment
What John Jenkins said + especially liked Burglars/hooray
Tommy Turtle - August 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Andria: I was being facetious to Timmy1k about the 40s, but on other occasions, Stewart's Senior Black Correspondent, Larry Wilmore, has observed (jokingly, of course) that the half-white, half-Kenyan, Hawaiian, Indonesian-educated Prez needs to establish more street cred with inner-city, lower-income African-Americans, I was just kind of running with that -- but it *would* be funny!

DK where the max of 5 came from (yours?) ... we've seen certain peeps post 10-15/day, but FWIW, my personal limit is two, so as not to spam the home page and crowd out other writers. IMHO - YMMV,

And speaking of which, I'll have two on Monday, one being another Gates rip that I should have thought of in the first place. ... (and while I would never suggest that you actually *do* this, it *is* technically possible to vote more than once, though it wouldn't be polite of me to say how.)

Andy Primus: Thanks for v/c and fave line -- that was the Big Picture point trying to be made.
Andy Primus - August 02, 2009 - Report this comment
It worked
Andria to TT - August 02, 2009 - Report this comment
The maximum of 5 parodies a day came from none other than Chucky G when Malcolm Higgins was cranking out vitriolic anti-Obama parodies to the rate of 10 a day IIRC. I remember reading that on one of Malky's parodies. And I know how to vote twice. Hint: Different IPs. But I don't do it, since it constitutes voter fraud and I want to be one of the more well-liked parodists here.
TT to And(ria)(y) - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Andria, William Tong and others used to write 10+ per day anti-Bush. Malk and JB were writing 10-15 during that race I mentioned. If CG had such a policy, how did Timmy1000 get 10 songs posted last Friday? ... personally, I think it's a good idea. Or we could all just post one or two and share the home page with everyone else.

Hey, what's wrong with voter fraud? It's gotten several Presidents elected, not to mention every politician in Illinois, especially Chicago, and the current Pres used to be a member of the fraud group, ACORN. (but I do agree with you)

Andy, thanks.
Andria to T(T) - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment
I personally don't know how Timmy1000 got around that rule, maybe Chucky G looked the other way because he liked Timmy1K's parodies better than the venomous parodies written by Malcolm. And on voter fraud, it can be a good or bad thing in politics, or a bad thing here.

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