A dong, strong: times, ago
I had, still, stiff member
How I'd use it to partake in style!
When I'd woo with my bad-boy lance:
Phat! *My* wood snake grows; she'd pull pants
And Baby! Lady-nappy-fur, beguile
Old: ebbing, very; maid: can't give her
A sav'ry taper, ride, or quiver [1]
Bad news for my poor pet
I couldn't make her drawers wet
I can't remember if I cried
When I knew I'd had my final ride
A bum thing; crushed me; deep, wound pride
The day the cue stick died

That's why .. I .. kiss a merry girl's pie
My poor phallus needs Cialis™, while dear Alice: left dry
Am no more: young boy, or gettin' frisky, am I
Thinkin', this'll be the way that I try
No need for unzipping the fly

Are you ripe for nookin' love?
And do you have space: fit rod, like glove?
To nearby motel, two go
Do you give beave? Let's rock 'n roll!
Enthused, I rave; your portal: goal
Ahh, Ma'am, you tease me: down go pants, real slow
Well, you know I once was "Jungle Jim"
'Cause I's always prancing with the quim
We both kicked off on booze
And my big hose, with 'em: her cooz
I was at bony teen stage; wankin' sucked
Till her pink temptation: my man-hood, induct
And we'd do till we'd self-destruct
Sad day: the broomstick died

Half-hearted swingin':
My, my, see my poor gf cry
"Here, I'll treat ya to Levitra™; get a three-month supply"
My wood: mold; Oy! No link of sausage to fry
And missing (whistle: she!) the days I stood high
Wistful: My best days have gone by

Now, for ten years, I've seen not a bone
Where "moss" grows, bad: I can't hold my own
But that's not how it used to be
When the testes sprang; did their thing: thirteen --
-- Years: a goat, so sorrowf'lly unclean
With a load that came repeated-ly
Oh, but why's the thing now looking down?
Her chest; her whole; no horny hound?
The bedroom, we demurred
No furdict till it's cured!
Sour lemon! Dead; a spooky pox
No more, get; lacked this in her box
A weak wang urge within my jocks
The day vein, blue, subside

Bells were ringin',
Chime, chime: I'm no more in my prime
Watching Debbie doing Dallas for the fortieth time [2]
Got a- -dult toys; still, stinkin' dang thing won't climb
I'm flinging p*ss instead of laying, sublime
Hair is growing gray; it's a crime

Felt her, smelt her; Hand? A bummer, dealt her
Poor "bird": Get off? No, a Willy-wilter
Left high and dry, and galling fast
A stranded gal, on her a*s
To lay her, tried; but unscored, alas!
As she festered; felt denied; pines ... for the past
Ow! No staff-climb there; complete, her gloom
As she, ardent, prayed for starch, and soon!
He: small; not up; no stance
No rut; forever, rot, the shvantz [3]
Though we prayers plied, limp stake: unhealed [P]
The parched thing - da*n! Unused; concealed
I knew, appall: not lust'ly wield;
No vein of blue in sight

Restart its springin'?
Nigh: thigh; missing cherry-good pie
Would sildenafil be beneful if plentiful, buy? [4]
If could, sold! Poise, re-synchin': Miss, she and I:
Thinkin', "This'll be the lay!" But belie:
Bris fell; Went away: bat, but why?

Oh, and there we were, fallen; disgrace
With E. Dysfunction: losing face
The Energizer™: start, again [5]
So, come on! Snack! It's simple! Rack the chick!
Jackass! Go down and manly, lick
'Cause ire: higher level, your girl-friend
Oh, and as her crotch quim, I assuaged -
- With hands and Frenched, her bliss, I gauged
My angel, warm and swell
No fake, her matin' yell
And as this dame climaxed all through the night
Delight, this artifice-ful rite [6]
Conjugatin'? Staff limp, still my plight
Dismay: the glue stick, dried

No buzz, ding'ling:
(Sigh!) Why, piece of Mary, can't I?
Horns were heavy near the bevy once; now, gravy boat: dry
Them lewd, bold joys are shrinkin' quickly: good-bye
No zing in thistle; Me? I lay down and cry [7]
Missile: see decay; gone awry

I bet my girlfriend had the blues
'Cause she blasted through my sappy ruse
Bud, she was riled; I'd turned astray?
I'd been down with some naked wh*re?
Would I (nerd!) make *you* sick? Chancre sore?
No demand there; sad; the cute chick wouldn't play
And 'neath the sheets, she chilled and screamed
Our love was fried, and so low, esteemed
'Twas not a time for jokin'
The hurt belle was heartbroken:
"You're a wee man with a tired 'post' "
Can't father son; I am wholly toast
Distraught, the vast pain; sorely, roast:
"The way that you, sick, lied"

She was flingin',
"Why, guy, thus, aberrantly lie? [8]
"You've been sleepin' with the sheep, 'n now I know; don't deny
"If the truth told: Bois- -e's where you shoot your supply [9]
"You've been slippin' them your sperm on the sly
"Jissin' as you squirm on their thigh"

Throat, was wringin'
"Die, die, you shepherdian guy"
"You're defrockin' with the flock 'n you can kiss my a*s, 'Bye'
"No 'wood'? What noise! You stink! So, briskly, off, hie"
Stinging: "Screw *them*? What, chopped liver, am I?"




[P] Pacing note: Oddly enough, "prayers", meaning "appeals to the Almighty", is one syllable, while "prayers", meaning "those who pray", is two. I need two syllables to match OS "players"; hence, "we prayers" = she and he, the two who prayed. ... "ply" in the sense of "to address (someone) persistently, as with solicitations". They persistently solicited divine assistance in this worldly matter.
(Skip this part) If one who prays is a pray-er, is He who hears them the prayee? You'd think, as there are in fact the pair of words, "payer" and "payee" (say, of stock dividends), but, eh, no. Words are weird -- and interesting. (To the weird, at least ;)

[1] "taper" - in the sense of "candlestick"

[2] "Debbie Does Dallas", 1978 "adult" film, considered a classic of the genre. (No, never seen it.)

[3] Intended meaning of "rut" here is "be in a state of sexual arousal", not the cruder one having something to do with a furrow or groove. (Guess each reader can choose as they wish.)

[4] "sildenafil" (citrate) - generic name for Viagra™; "beneful" - poetic mangling of "beneficial", "of benefit", etc.

[5] Some vague reference to some sort of battery-powered device, I guess.

]6] The natural sub, "artificial", would work here (as he is doing a substitute for the "real thing"), but one definition of "artifice" is "cunning". TT rather likes that definition, and is not going one inch farther with it. ;)

[7] "thistle" -- any of various "prickly" plants ... ;)

[8] In both senses of the word, i. e., "tell falsehoods", and "lie (with)" as a euphemism for "to have sex (with)"

[9] "Boise" - capital of the US State of Idaho; as explained in this TT parody, once a state of much sheep ranching, though since gone more high-tech.