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Song Parodies -> "This Parody's A Neologist's Golden Opportunity"

Original Song Title:

"I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major-General"

Original Performer:

Gilbert & Sullivan

Parody Song Title:

"This Parody's A Neologist's Golden Opportunity"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

This parody's a neologist's golden opportunity
To fit the scheme, OK to dream up new words with impunity
Need never fear critique severe from members of community
Like "blowing whistle", doing this'll grant complete immunity

Your wish: stand out? You must hand out a grand bout, so sensational
By end of line, a rhyme, must find; be quite imaginational
That's not a word? Abjure; absurd? Contraire, it's inspirational

[pause, then continue, speaking]
Set an example for people with your masterwork? ... Got it!

[resume singing]
Exhibit erudition there; edition, educational

Some say it's silly? Fits the bill! Cre-ate your own new lexicon
Forget the borders! Swim those warters! Words: like wetback Mexicon
And deeply ponder 2-entendre. Censor? Vex with sexy con!

Of course, no crime to force a rhyme! Use magic of great magnitude
Pay no attention to convention; 'dopt a Spiro Agnitude
(Or maybe fix on Richard Nixon; hush it up with gagnitude)
Your vast success will, all, impress, and earn you bags of bragnitude

In short, it's motivational to not be limitational
So crank up your creational with wit improvisational

Dig hole and bury dictionary; *you're* your own authority
You get to choose what words you use; ignore the mass majority
But if some joker, mediocre, pans your pert parorody
Just pay no heed to cretin's creed; abhor peeps' poor pejority

It's lots of fun to be the one who chooses words: decider, you
Cast off those fetters! Play with letters! Pooh, if they derider you!
Some hopeless hack will show his lack: grey matter, if decried, are you

[pause, then continue, speaking]
Spurn critics of wordplay ... Got it!

[resume singing]
Slough off the jerk who scorns your work; I say that bona fide, are you

Run out, have we: rhymes, syll'bles, three? Expand a "two" or squeeze a "four"
Stand tall and proud! Go show the crowd some words they never sees 'afore
Like "Antidisestalishmentarne'logism". Please and score!

You: "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" fan?
Knew mo' no better? Ultra-lettered TT: quite precocious plan [1...]
Me: Microscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis man [,,,1]
The longest word you've ever heard! Who cares if it's atrocious scan?

In short, don't shorten up your sport by letting rules, your fun, abort
So break away; it makes your day to pen a ton of pun, a forte [2]

Vid': "Words Gone Wild"! Smartly styled, craft your draft creaciously [3]
A pox upon who Unabombs your page with Ones, defaciously
But I predict, if words you picked: not chosen too salaciously
That you'll enthral, and comments, all, will Five you very graciously

I'm sure, by here, idear is clear: No real words work? Just make 'em up!
The alphabet is nice; like dice, drop in a can an' shake 'em up!
It doesn't fit where you need split? Pick where you like, 'n break 'em up!

[pause, then continue, speaking]
Carve it any way you wish? ... Got it!

[resume singing]
Think: molding clay: you shape *your* way; like cake, you bake, 'n fake 'em up!

I hope by now, you've seen, and how!: The truth: self-evidentical
Go let 'em rip! Escape the grip of habits old, tyrentical
Expand your range and make the change; path prob'ly permanentical

This argument has precedent; examples, undeniacal
There's lots of spins where wordplay wins; a trend that's undefiacal
It ain't no jive! Look through ar-chive: consists: twists, long histiacal
To lose "word virtue" will not hurt you. Loose? Nymphomaniacal!

In short, your mind, rove yonder, must; whet wit with words writ: wanderlust
Your readers, rend responderous; this golden chance, don't squander thus!

[A reader approaches the turtle, and says:]
I'll bet you can't make up a new word to describe the sales pitch of someone who sells both pistols and musical instruments!

[The turtle thinks for a moment or two, then replies:]
Of course I can! (clears throat) "Glock'nspiel" [4]

[1] (spans across two lines) "pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis" ("knew-mo'-no" = pneumono-, "Ultra" = -ultra)
Real or fake? (*Never* ask a woman that!) Take your pick:

"an obscure term ostensibly referring to a lung disease caused by silica dust, sometimes cited as one of the longest words in the English language"

"supposedly the longest word in a dictionary, an artificial word said to mean a lung disease caused by the inhalation of silica dust"

Oxford English Dictionary: "A facetious word alleged to mean 'a lung disease caused by the inhalation of very fine silica dust' but occurring chiefly as an instance of a very long word."

Teensy pun inside: "Ultra-lettered", with "lettered" in the sense of "educated, learned" (cough), but also that the word in question is "ultra-lettered", i. e., having far more letters than normal or average..

[2] Often pronounced in a way formerly considered incorrect, as in "forty" (40) or "fortay". When referring to your strong points, it was pronounced the same as "fort" (Knox, e. g.), but has evolved over time:
"In the sense of a person's strong point (He draws well, but sculpture is his forte), the older and historical pronunciation of forte is the one-syllable, [fohrt]. The word is derived from the French word fort, "strong." A two-syllable pronunciation [fawr-tey] is increasingly heard, especially from younger educated speakers, perhaps owing to confusion with the musical term forte, pronounced in English as [fawr-tey] and in Italian as [fawr-te]. Both the one- and two-syllable pronunciations of forte are now considered standard."

("pun a forte" also homage to TOS's reference to "that infernal nonsense, Pinafore".)

[3] Hey! We could sell a series of videos of our neologistic parodies, and blow right past that "Girls Gone Wild" series! Surely more people would want to see clever wordsmithery in action than to see a bunch of hot, drunk college chicks in "action", doing ... n/m, probably not such a good idea after all. :-(

[4] "Glock" - an Austrian brand of pistol. If you DK "spiel" or "glockenspiel", look 'em up. ;)

© 2010 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   10

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Nick Zeman - September 09, 2010 - Report this comment
One thing that sticks with me is when someone says to me that I'm trying to carve your own niche instead of following what others are doing that means a lot to me. Even if some of the people just don't get what you are mean or just doesn't like what is written. One thing I have learned, especially recently is you can't please everybody no matter how hard you try. This parody is both funny and very practical. Great job!
Old Man Ribber - September 09, 2010 - Report this comment
(Faking anger) Great! Now I'll NEVER be able to get that tune out of my head! lol Yet another overpowering tour de farce....this one held me shellbound! ;D
Kristof Robertson - September 09, 2010 - Report this comment
You are SO right, TT: this song lends itself to OTT neologisms. My own contribution via the Major General: Frankenbarbie Doll, bionical, M. Jacksonian, Aquari-sagittarius, and clairvoyancy (to rhyme with bouyancy) rather than clairvouyance. Love it! 555
Patrick - September 09, 2010 - Report this comment
I like your Spiro Agnitude. Wonder how your song would play in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantisiliogogogoch?
Phil Alexander - September 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Have to say I love the way it's so neologistic
Loads of words from the absurd to the (sur)realistic
I'll have to check - who's got the record made-up-word-statistic?
Damn! I wrote those lines to supercalifragislistic..
TJC - September 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Fantastick'ly fiveolicious!
You must have an entire extra brain lobe at work, TT... there's no other explanation for your Major tour de farce, nay, de jour de parse of the daunting General!
Amazing work--I'll single out: undeniacal, undefiacal, long histiacal, Nymphomaniacal--though in truth, every stanza's a 'creacious' gem.
John Barry - September 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Your spieling is appealing and and I'm reeling with green animus
I'm feeling laughter pealing; "Props!" I'm squealing--I mean, fabulous!!
TT @ Nick, Kristof, Phil, and John - September 09, 2010 - Report this comment
In the unlikely event that any of you are interested, this has beem "Major-General" week for TT all week. (Mondays are not part of my "weeks".)
  So, there are more this past Tuesday and Wednesday, plus another for Friday. No obligation, of course; just that if you enjoyed these...

Next week? Who knows? mwahaha!

Back to work, and full replies to all later. Thanks to each and all until then.
Tommy Turtle - September 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Nick Zeman: Indeed. As Ricky Nelson said in "Garden Party", "You can't please everyone, so you got to please yourself". Or as Henry Clay didn't quite say, "I'd rather, me, write than be President".
  Seriously, after reading only two of his songs, you've described TT to a T (heh!), as most regulars here know. Hope you'll find other examples that you like in his catalog. (Click the author's name-link next to "Parody Written By" at the top.) ... Don't see you in the Author list. Do you have any song posts to point us to? If not, looking forward to seeing *your* individual style soon! Thanks for the nice comment!

Old Man Ribber: (Deadly serious) So, now that you have TOS firmly implanted in your head, it should be that much easier for you to take your first shot at it! - right? C'mon, it'll only hurt for a month or two! :-D ... Anyone with 200+ parodies *really* needs to have this one under their belt -- looking forward to it! Thanks for v/c. :)

Kristof Robertson: Without looking (I *promise*), I think clairvoyance and sagittarius were in the one where you used astrology to chat up the super-model, right? Probably also Frankenbarbie was there.
  Strange -- can't remember where I left my car keys, and can't find the pen that I set down twenty minutes ago, but I remember parts of parodies from several years ago -- plus, yours are generably memoral -- I mean, memoraly generable -- no, ... oh, heck, they stick in my pea-brain cuz they're GOOD. (whew!)
  M. Jacksonian is not at all neologistic in the US of A; there's a scholarly term, "Jacksonian Democracy", describing the philosophy of a POTUS of the early 1800s, Andrew Jackson. No reason that couldn't be applied to Michael. :-D   Thanks for v/c, and cheers, Mate!

Patrick: They'd probably consider it too conservative and boring, wherever they are. (Where is that?) ... Thanks for feeing inSpiroed by this song, and for v/c.

Phil Alexander:
The made-up words flow, as TT' neolos; Alexander, with nice comment, herald
I'm thanking you, Phil, but I, too, took a spill: OMG, this is "Edmund Fitzgerald!"...

.... IIRC, it was The Phil who said that a TT-ody was the first time he'd seen "vapid" used in a parody, but despite what's said to Kris above, not totally sure... Love to see your findings on that neolostatistic (Scored another one! ;), and if you find *anyone* else who's slipped "pneumonoultra-etc.:" into a parody, please let us know!!!

TJC: Reading my mind again, eh? -- you'll see why next week, in the next installment of MG (thereby committing self to finishing it). Freaky, but thee and me have always been on the same Paige - namely, Jennifer. (heh!) Thanks for vivacious Fivacious vote and comment!

John Barry:
Your comment is Da Bomb-entous and graciously magnanimous
I've phatitude of gratitude, and no way pusillanimous!
Christie Marie M - September 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Well wriTTen parody, Turt! Dug those genius terms in the song! Only TT (and most parody artists on the site) can write and pace this baffling OS! As I've mentioned, about TWOTEF, I'm going to go easy on it and take few steps at a time, perhaps do research when writing that parody. It may be awhile till I write MG, though. MG is as monotonous of an OS as TWOTEF because it's only performed in a unique and sole pitch in tune. In regards to the word "pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis", I was like "Holy crap, never seen a word like it before!" Very interesting, yet bizarre, in a good way. I usually have the talent to pronounce certain words (I take up after my dad), but it may take me a little while to read this word. You really are a genius you know that? Hey I learned to pronounce this word: "dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane" (DDT) and my science teacher was shocked when I actually pronounced the word. Of course, that' s nothing. If I can pronounce the word, then I guess I can pronounce the words from your song, maybe. OK, another Major-General 5's and you'll be getting more each time you spoof this OS.
Tommy Turtle - September 10, 2010 - Report this comment
Christie Marie M: TT's a genius?? You really mean that, you're not just saying it to make me feel good? Well, gosh, thanks -- I'm speechless! (for once, lol)

if you can manage chemical names, you can read *anything*, and you have *got* to read this famous parody of "The Irish Washerwoman", called "Paradimethylaminobenzadehyde", by, I think, Isaac Asimov. If you DKTOS, here's a MIDI link:

(Isaac Asimov?)
Sodium citrate, ammonium cyanide
Phosphates and nitrates and chlorides galore
Just have one o' these and you'll never need more.
Got messed up last night on some furfuryl alcohol
Followed it down with a gallon of propanol
Drank from mid-morning until late afternoon
And then spat on the floor and blew up the saloon.

Powdered aluminum, nitrogen iodide
Slop it around and add in some benzene
Then top off the punch with Fluorescein
Whiskey, tequila and rum are too tame, no
The stuff that I drink must explode into flame.
When I sneeze I dissolve all the paint in the room,
And then rattle the walls with an earth-shaking BOOM

Go soak your head in a jar of formaldehyde
Scrub very hard, and then rinse out your mane
In dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane....
Nick Zeman - September 10, 2010 - Report this comment
Hey I'm glad you saw where I was coming from with my songs and it seems because you have run you can understand where I'm coming from with the runner's lingo. It looks like someone didn't like how my parody was misunderstood. Yeah I wish they could join the club. Here is a running parody that someone else wrote and then I'll give you a link to the song that was referred to by whoever. The name of that song is Run Wit Me parodied to Ride Wit Me by Nelly (not the song I parodied) The name to my song is LSD Song. The link If you click on the original artist blue icon it will take you to a list of all the songs I parodied. I think I may write one more song about running and then get into topics like politics, sports maybe religion and others.
Patrick - September 10, 2010 - Report this comment
Llanfair++ is the contrived name of a railroad station in Wales. Used to appear in all the Ripley's Believe It or Not". I was at a library sale once and passed on a copy of "Untimely Ripped". I later learned that it contained the word "praetertransubstantiationalistically". I've always wanted to know how that was used in context.
Tommy Turtle - September 10, 2010 - Report this comment
Nick Zeman: You shouldn't have dropped the "runners" from your author name on song #10 -- having ten songs is what gets you listed on the Author page, and gives your author name on your songs a hyperlink to that page of your own. You could re-post it with the "runners" name, or if you're going to stick with just NZ, use that for all future songs -- and maybe do *one* more with "runners" in the name, so there's another page for that.

So, you're "parodyholic". When I said "join the club", I meant "the club of parodyholics", LOL. :) ... Will check out some of your songs over the next few days; got a lot of stuff on the burner and family visit this weekend, but I'll get there. Thanks again for visiting.

Patrick: Now that you mention it, I do seem to remember some Welsh word of great length being mentioned. However, the word here is "claimed" as the longest word in the (cough) *English* language (cough). ..;)
"transubstantiation" : "Theology. the changing of the elements of the bread and wine, when they are consecrated in the Eucharist, into the body and blood of Christ (a doctrine of the Roman Catholic Church)."
  The prefix "praeter", often Anglicized to "preter", as in "preterit" (past tense) can mean "before", "referring to a previous action", or, archaically, "bygone or past".

So, we're speaking of something either occurring before that transubstantiation, or of doctrines that preceded it. I'm not a member of that Church, and so don't have enough inside knowledge to use the word knowingly in a sentence. Ask your priest -- should give him a nice challenge.
Nick Zeman - September 10, 2010 - Report this comment
I am anything but a parodyholic having only written only 10 songs. Nowhere close. LOL. I just looked at what you wrote after that and thought the running was what you meant and not parodies. I musunderstood. I may consider having two artists names and then I could consider myself a legitimate parodyholic. Maybe I'll reinvent myself as a political pundit and call my new name politiholic! LOL
Tommy Turtle - September 13, 2010 - Report this comment
Nick Zeman: No, I was a runaholic for quite a while - at one point, getting up @ 4:45 am and putting in ten miles before work every day, plus doing fifteen miles on Saturdays - 65 miles a week. (~100 km)
  Eventually became too time-consuming, and wanted more speed anyway, so went for shorter distances, faster - 3 mi/5k to 10k. Eventually eventually, became too much on the ol' flippers.....

Was just trying to point out that if you post ten songs under the same nick, (heh! - Nick, get it?) you get your own page with all your songs on it, a listing on the Author list: ,
and on all of your songs, your name as author is blue-linked to your page.
Phil Alexander - September 13, 2010 - Report this comment
:-) I'm not actually going to try scanning parodies and counting neologisms.. can't we come up with a new and better word for "neologism"?

The Asimovery is kind of fun, too.. does this count for using long chemical names (the first M-G parody on Amiright, I think) -

..and Stray Pooch has got there on one other: not only did he use "Pneumonoetc." in a song, it's the title of a "Yesterday" parody:
Tommy Turtle @ Phil Alexander - September 14, 2010 - Report this comment
How 'bout "madeupword"? :) (Isn't "new word for neologism" recursive, or is it just I?)

Your pharmacopoeiarody (SCORES AGAIN!) explains a lot that I've wondered about you all these years.... ;-D ... btw, you can have all the dexedrine you want by faking the symptoms of ADD. Or not faking them, heh heh!

Thanks for the link to the pneumologism (AND AGAIN!!) Quite a feat, and sooo comforting to know that I'm not the only inmate in the asylum! :) :) ;)
Leo Keough - June 13, 2011 - Report this comment
I see what you mean - 5's!

I guess I was lucky I didn't accidently reuse one of your word creations
Tommy Turtle - June 14, 2011 - Report this comment
Leo Keough: Indeed - thanks! ... But as for accidental re-use, once we consider all possible permutations of the alphabet (thinks: 12-letter words = 11,447,545,997,288,281,555,215,581,184 possible combos, + shorter ones 1-11), what are the chances? ;-D

(how odd that 555 showed up in that number. ;) Thanks for reading and v/c''-ing.
Lifeliver - February 04, 2013 - Report this comment
Phew! After all that neology and multisillysyllabulary, I feel neolithic. I'm going mono ... I_love_it. ... Isaac Asimov totally did me in. Gotta hand it to you (and the many witty commenters that crawled from the woodwork here) - I saw words I never thought I'd see in a song parody, and they're just the real ones. The whole verse containing Spiro-agnitude was my fave but as for the rest: please, no more talk of 'raising the bar' - this puts it at unpolevaultable and it's your faultable. I know it's not your intention, but I feel totally upstaged once again.

About 'forte', formal French pron would render it two sylls because the 'e' indicates sounding out the t rather than swallowing it. So it would be (roughly) 'forteh' ending in a schwa, but definitely not 'ay', as you say. I didn't know they were two separate language derivations, though of course with the same latin root.

I wonder if that one-bomb was the sincere disgruntlement of the mere normally literate, rather than the random ones we sometimes get ...
Tommy Turtle - February 04, 2013 - Report this comment
LL: No, certainly not meaning to upstage, just emphasizing MHO that parody in general, and this song in "-General", grant a lot of license for word-mangling as needed, ans as you saw, most readers find it fun -- the more outrageous, the better.

(Mandatory cough) Perhaps you'd best not read TT's other dozen M-G's. If I'm gonna tackle this sucker, I'm gonna run like crazy with it and make the ride worth the effort.

Methinks you give too much credit to the 1-bomber. Generally, you've stepped on their toes in some way, in song or in comment, or else they just hate to see anyone get a lot of rave reviews. Mere normal literate might not read the song in the first place, or not vote; it requires petulant envy to resent another's accomplishment to the point that you're compelled to spray paint on its wall, so to speak.

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