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Song Parodies -> "You're Filled Up With Menses"

Original Song Title:

"Annie's Song"

Original Performer:

John Denver

Parody Song Title:

"You're Filled Up With Menses"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Decision for guys, every month: "To Do, Or Not To Do?" One "yes" vote (in the bottom comment) and one "no" vote, so here's the tie-breaker.

You're filled up with menses
River, Red, runs through forest
Is it "bouncing on springs" time?
Would it cause you much pain?
Would you think me a pervert
For a "sleep with you" notion?
Though filled up with menses,
"Red ink", dip my pen!

'Cause I still love you
Ev'ry day, dear wife, do you
We'll just wash sheets thereafter
Let us lie; nothing, harms
I can always abide you
Though your "friend', it be with you
All month, I love you
Regardless of when!

[interlude -- get a fresh towel and washcloth]

Let me give my fife to you [1]
Come, me above you
No respite from men!

Though some take offenses
And some, this time, the sorest
Still would mount: Maxi-Wing™ time
I don't want to ab-"stain"
We've had dinner; now "des-sert"
We'll just use K-Y™ lotion
So peel off the fences
Let's make love again!

[1] In TT's case, more like a flute -- but that doesn't match TOS :)

Maxi-Pads ® Kimberly-Clark Worldwide Inc.. K-Y ® McNeil-PPC, Inc.. All else © 2009 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Guy - September 10, 2009 - Report this comment
TT - Yeah, it's Miller time and this "bloods" for you. This could be better if it were done to a rag-time OS. And there is a BIG difference between blood relatives and blood relations. So as soon as you are done mensin' around I'll lay out a 5 day supply for your Mrs. =;-)
Susanna Viljanen - September 10, 2009 - Report this comment
I made some time ago "Only Women Bleed (Periodically)" of the same issue. You covered well an unpleasant and sometimes painful topic. Here's a 555 hectare plot at the Red River Valley.
Timmy1000 - September 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Hate the OS - when I hear it, I always think "This song is so senseless" as the first line. This parody really does justice to it. Well done. You get my Ewwww! of the day too.
alvin - September 10, 2009 - Report this comment
flowed beautifully
Mark Scotti - September 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Your words runneth reddish.... LOL!
Fiddlegirl - September 10, 2009 - Report this comment
No raggin' on this one!
Christie Marie M - September 10, 2009 - Report this comment
"Great flow" to the lyrics! Seems like this lady needs 5 tampons, 5 maxi pads, and 5 feminine napkins!
Endobeatreeyum!! - September 10, 2009 - Report this comment
I love it. Period.
blackjack21 - September 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Three fifes.
AFW - September 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Naughty, but nice
Tommy Turtle - September 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Guy, Susanna Viljanen. Timmy1000, alvin, Mark Scotti, Fiddlegirl, Christie Marie M, Endobeatreeyum!!, blackjack21, AFW, thanks, and please see today's other post for "blanket" apology. It seems I'm a little late this month ... I mean, tonight.

Susanna Viljanen: TT has done this topic at least three times before: The two parodies linked in the intro, and
I'm sure we can't possibly imagine exactly, but the ladies have a sympathetic "friend" in TT. (and thanks for the land in Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, or Louisiana!)

Timmy1000: The reason they're called "the facts of life" is that they're, um... "facts". Women live with it -- we can, too. Thanks for v/c. (agree on the OS being bloody inane!)
Peregrin - August 21, 2012 - Report this comment
Good job TT. I've heard it said that feminine hygiene jokes are the lowest form of humour. PERIOD. Of course, I wouldn't say that!
Tommy Turtle - August 21, 2012 - Report this comment
Peregrin: Supposedly, the pun is the lowest form of humor, but I wouldn't say that either. (IMHO, it's the highest.) Flatulence jokes can get pretty stale after a while (ponders whether to rephrase that), but really, can't one put a new, fresh-as-a-summer's-eve spin on *anything*? .... Thanks for read and comment!
EVE - August 22, 2012 - Report this comment
[1] - Not a bassoon?
Tommy Turtle @ EVE - August 23, 2012 - Report this comment
TUVM! ... One hates to brag *too* much... but TBPH, doesn't a bassoon have a sharp curve near the end, ("bocal"), which would hurt both he and she? What am I, Bill Clinton? ;-D (old, but true, joke; look it up if DK)

TT prefers "bassooms" (or "bazooms"):
(not to mention, "baritone s*x" ;)

Thanks again for flattery -- it will get you everywhere!

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