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Song Parodies -> "Downtown, Girl?"

Original Song Title:

"Uptown Girl"

Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Downtown, Girl?"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

One hopes that this is not overly subtle, as the double-entendres in the alleged salutes to Australia and to Mexican seafood apparently weren't clear enough for some readers.

Matched to this OS video.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, go slow, Bro', ... No "no", no, go low ... low ... low....

Downtown, girl?
I've been giving her a downtown whirl
I'll bet she's never had a backdoor guy
I make her come-a, come-a, make her fly

I love to lie with my downtown girl
She's been missionary-plight-bed, curled
And now I've shown her what a hot stud can --
And, wow! She's cooking! She's a "downtown" fan
My pleasure, Ma'am

And now she knows what
She wants from bed time
And when she wakes up
She shakes me: "You're mine"

She just can't get enough
Lust for fuzz:
I give love to her brown down curl [1]
She sees my wiener standing up, unfurled
She's getting fired up and making noise
No more: the presence of those uptight boys
She's made her choice!

[interlude -- oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

Downtown girl
You know I give her "necklace" of my "pearls"
But ev'ry ev'ning when we slip it in
She's feeling grand because of where I've "been"
And then begin...

Her world is rocking
She's feeling so fine
Don't bother knocking
We lay, and entwine

Reclining in the buff
What she does!
I make love
Give a downtown twirl
I've been licking on a light red whorl
Long-er than anyone with hot blood can [2]
Returning favor for her downtown man
And so, wham! bam!

[enter, lewd (again) oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

Downtown, girl?
No more uptight girl
How *we* love to love!
With a lingual swirl

Go downtown, girl?
To show you my love:
Gladly I'd drown, girl
My six-nine girl

'Cause I'm upside down
With my love-crowned girl
My turned-'round girl

Below and above
She's my shtup-down girl
My un-gowned girl
Bestow all my love...

[fade until you can no longer cut the mustard, but keep licking the jar]

[1] This time, as in "goose down" (no pun intended), i. e. soft feathers or fur

[2] "Cold-blooded" turtles can hold their breath for up to three hours, something no "warm-blooded" creature can do.

© 2010 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   8

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Mark Scotti - January 20, 2010 - Report this comment
Gives a whole new meaning to being "down under"!!! Would wish you 69 fives, but settle for three...
Old Man Ribber - January 20, 2010 - Report this comment
In a word...graphic! Fine "job", TT! ;D
Ann Hammond - January 20, 2010 - Report this comment
he he
Fiddlegirl - January 20, 2010 - Report this comment
See? I *did* read it! (And gave it a perfect "score")
Spoof-Man - January 20, 2010 - Report this comment
Fun,Fun read!! 5's
Tommy, The Diving Turtle - January 20, 2010 - Report this comment
Mark Scotti: Indeed! Click the link to "Australia" for another such "new meaning" ;) Thanks for v/c!

Old Man Ribber: Any "job" worth doing is worth doing well -- especially at the "well" ;) Thanks!

Ann Hammond: Always happy to please the ladies (as you can see)! Thanks!

Fiddlegirl: It's always great to score with FG! (ponders whether to rephrase that....) ... and congrats on braving the Turtilian waters! :-)

Spoof-Man! Thanks, thanks, 'deed!
Christie Marie M - January 20, 2010 - Report this comment
Well, if it isn't Tommy Turtle, putting Kama Sutra to another level...or should I say below sea level! I actually sang your parody while I downloaded YT vid of Uptown Girl Karaoke version and let me tell you, it sounded a lot better! You sure scored 555 for this one! Way to go!
Tommy Turtle - January 20, 2010 - Report this comment
Christie Marie M: LOL @ "level" jokes! :-) (Below "see" level? ;) Glad you found it an improvement -- always nice to score with the ever-nice CMM as well! Thanks for v/c, and hope the "oh, oh, ohs" were real for you when you sang! (he he)
Rad'iCally - January 20, 2010 - Report this comment
Lingual n' linguistic largess thou bestowest upon our breasts... or was that ling'uini? Never mindest--twas uptown great!
Tommy Turtle - January 21, 2010 - Report this comment
Rad'iCally: 'Twas lingering over lingerie to get to her lingonberry and lingcod with my Hindu Lingam, writ in the Lingua Franca that we all understand (literally, "Frankish Language -- and this was pretty frank, eh?) ... thanks for s-lick, tongue-in-cheek comment!

Darn it, I had something else to say, but forgot -- it was right on the tip of my tongue! ;)
Andria - January 21, 2010 - Report this comment
You did a great job here. Definitely an improvement over the OS (which I find to be very saccharine and annoying, and enjoy much more in parody form), and you scored 555 for an excellent 69.
Rad'iCally - January 21, 2010 - Report this comment
I must remember to ne'er commence something I can't fooly Finish! (like Tiger...)
Tommy Turtle - January 21, 2010 - Report this comment
Andria: I agree about TOS, and while it's fun to do songs you like, skewering the lame ones adds extra delight, no? :) Thanks for the (LOL) vote!

Rad'iCally: Waaay too negative a spin, Dude! Think of it this way: You came up with a brilliant comment theme, sufficient to inspire a reply-in-kind! It's all good!
Tommy Turtle - January 22, 2010 - Report this comment
Fiddlegirl and I each write independently at times, as we were doing before collaborating. You'll find four (4) joint efforts in the past two days, two on Thursday, 1/21 and two today, 1/22.

This particular genre is not to her personal taste, which is even more reason for you to apologize for the disrespectful reference to her, which is wholly inappropriate and against Guidelines anyway. I look forward to the apology on her behalf (else the comment will be deleted). Thanks for the vote and the favorable opinion on the parody.
Fiddlegirl - January 23, 2010 - Report this comment
Thank you, TT.

@ ? : I'm not sure where this came from, but I'll tell you what I used to tell my 7th graders-- if it's a joke, then we should *all* be laughing. I can't imagine what could possibly be construed as funny here, though. I can only assume it was *meant* to be pejorative and insulting. In that case, TT is absolutely right; barring an apology, the comment should be deleted... and I'm certain it will be.
TT @ FG - January 23, 2010 - Report this comment
It's been reported, no apology or retraction having been received in about 24 hours.
Andy Primus - January 23, 2010 - Report this comment
Tut tut, TT. I was left (a) *tit elated. LOL @ necklace & whorl lines. Good use of "rl" endings. At least she wasn't a downtown churl - and you didn't cause her to hurl.

*British informal.
Tommy Turtle - January 24, 2010 - Report this comment
Andy Primus: I think that particular "informal" is universal in English .... and lol @ churl/hurl! Thanks for v/c.

Hmm.... never been fond of "security code" comments myself, as there are only so many combinations (46,656 to be exact,) but ... "2UK" ... from US :-)
Tommy Turtle - January 25, 2010 - Report this comment
Oh?!?! : I still don't understand why you're mentioning Fiddlegirl at all, when she is *not* listed as a co-author and had nothing at all to do with this parody -- other than reading it, which Mark Scotti, Old Man Ribber, and many others also did. And her name isn't Fidde-oh, either. It's "Fiddlegirl". Copy and paste if it's too hard to spell.
BR> Everyone of the "oh"s is in TOS. And don't be so anonymous or coy. Fill in that blank with whatever you're too chicken to say, and sign your name so we know whose comment is being deleted. Okay?

p. s.: Thanks for the extra page hits. ;)
Type-Oh - January 26, 2010 - Report this comment
See you make type-oh two Fidde-oh! If me fill in blank not be in Guideline and it all about Guideline. This par-oh-dy good but no not folloh Guideline soh let's remove it two. We folloh Guideline and half of site disappear. That what you want Guideline Person of admonishator red impersonator remove if somebody cough too loud on a egoh. I vohte for you 4-2-3 this comment nonsense but folloh Guideline soh you be happy now yes?
Tommy Turtle - January 26, 2010 - Report this comment
Type-Oh: Yes. I would *never* ask to have the above comment deleted -- it's *priceless"! :-) Thanks! :) :) :)
Type-Oh - January 27, 2010 - Report this comment
Oh-Kay I give you more comment so you can run like crybaby tattletale to admonishator and get removed. Censorship alive and well for control freak, so I vote 666 for wiener parody. Good work.
Andria - January 27, 2010 - Report this comment
TT: Just so you know, I am NOT Type-Oh.
TT @ Andria - January 27, 2010 - Report this comment
Andria, that thought *never* entered my mind. I give you far more credit than that. Appreciate the comment, though.

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