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Song Parodies -> "I Knew Me When (Had No Fiddle...)"

Original Song Title:

"I Knew You When"

Original Performer:

Billy Joe Royal

Parody Song Title:

"I Knew Me When (Had No Fiddle...)"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Sheeeee's Baaaaack! IT'S A MIRACLE! A RESURRECTION! (uh, no offense to anyone's religion, so change that to... ) RETURNED FROM NON-EXISTENCE!

"Fool me once; shame on you. Fool me twice; shame on me." ... The fiendishly-clever Riddlegirl fooled some people. TT responded in a private email to "someone", "Some amateur wants to (have intercourse) with people's minds? Hah! I'll show he/she/it how a *professional* mind-(intercourse)-er works" ... hence the ultimate "confession" at the same song. And a lot of readers believed it. Why are we all so willing to believe in conspiracy theories? ....

OK, for the record, first being duly sworn and deposed, another of my fave torch songs gets sacrificed to the Truth.
OS, written by Joe South ("Games People Play", etc.), video here.

Yeah? No? Yeah? No?
Yeah? No? Yeah? May-ay-ay-be!

I knew me when:
TT, only
I knew me when
Write, alone. She? --
-- No girl of my own to write of

(One who can ken....) [1]

I knew me when
I wrote bad things all alone
But FG said, "Let's have some fun [2]
"My mind is small; Yours, loan?"

We did one, then:
"Impart, along (I've none, dear me):
"In chat, ideas; (I fear it's so)"
They all loved our busting Don McLean

Yeah? Not? Why? Bleah-eah-eah-eah!

You let this hen
Throw baloney
Said "This sharp pen
"Must be phony
"No girl, on her own, match thereof
"It's Tom, again" [3]

I know her now
She's used to TT's rotten pun
But somehow, she comes back with more
Like mine: a groaner, Hon!

I knew, back then:
Knew I must be paired: Fiddlegirl
A sense of humor I could love
And now, she's come back to the world!

Yeah? Yeah! Yeah? Yeah!
Yeah? Yes! OhHHH..... YESSSS, Ka-CHINGGGG!

To some's chagrin:
TT's crony
No, not his twin
Real, and tony [4]
Wit, hurl, on her own, that you love
Thank God, Amen.....

[repeat and fade, but FG shall never fade, no matter who thinks what.]

[1] "ken":
verb: to know, have knowledge of or about; to understand or perceive
noun: range of what one can know or understand

[2] From the Clint Eastwood movie, "Magnum Force": (1973)

Neighbor Girl: "What does a girl have to do to go to bed with you?"
Dirty Harry (Eastwood): "Try knocking on the door."

FG knocked on the door. In four years here, no one else but TJC has. (Co-written songs; haven't been to bed with either of them. Or both of them.)

Given that each of the three has an excess of ideas vs. time to execute, methinks that's enough for TT to handle. If there's some writer *you* like and would like to co-write with, try knocking on the door. :-)

[3] What an insult to FG! OK, maybe TT's gotten lucky a couple of times and scored a hit or two here and there, but for a few people to think it impossible for a relatively noob writer, of great mind, education, culture, and learning, to get into the same ballpark so quickly that it "must" be TT under an alias? (Compliment to TT, perhaps, but insult to FG.)

[4] "tony" - No, not the Beav's older brother, but "Marked by an elegant or exclusive manner or quality: a tony country club."


Aside from the above, FG:

1) Liked TT's style and wanted to learn from it. Not learn it to copy it, but learn *from* it and adapt it to her own (like, say, uh -- how closely the above was syllable-matched to TOS ;-).

2) Liked the things TT taught, and liked -- or at least tolerated -- the way he teaches them. How many others can honestly say that?

3) Caught on amazingly quickly, and was soon throwin' 'em back as good, or better, than they were comin' (lines, subs, and puns).

4) Collaborated willingly and eagerly, and expressed appreciation for the assistance, an appreciation which rapidly became mutual. TT doesn't blame anyone who gets put on the defensive in response to his suggestions, but how nice to find one who was *grateful* for them. Maybe *that* is what was so difficult to believe, as not everyone could see themselves in that situation?

FWIW, to whatever extent TT's "ken" (see above def. as noun) might be a little above the average, it's because he, too, has been willing and eager to learn anything from anyone, anywhere, who knows what they're talking about. Ian Fleming said the same thing about his character, James Bond: "Bond was ready to listen to any man who was master of his subject, any subject." (the novel, "Goldfinger". Quoted from memory, so might be slightly off, as that was published in 1959, and read maybe 40+ years ago, but the line stuck with TT always.)

She's real, she's brilliant, and that's that.

"Magnum Force", "Dirty Harry", and quoted lines © The Malpaso Company. "Goldfinger" © the estate of Ian Fleming. All else © 2009 the *very real* Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   7

User Comments

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Timmy1000 - December 02, 2009 - Report this comment
555 for the parody and huh? So,now you're not FG, but FG says she is you. Whichever this is, it is very well thought and played.
Mark Scotti - December 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Annnnd the 'shell game" continues..... Great parody, TT!!!
Boy Wonder - December 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Holy U-Turn, Riddlegirl!!! That tricky turtle has changed his story again!!!
Riddlegirl - December 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Yes BW, a desperate move but we have his signed confession. He won't wiggle out of this one so easily. :)
AFW - December 02, 2009 - Report this comment
You're sort of an Amiright ventriloquist, TT...and keeping that tangled web weaving..
blackjack21 - December 02, 2009 - Report this comment
TT, you're a ramblin' gamblin' man. Eh, I'm a little lost now, what game are we playing here anyway? 555
Tommy Turtle - December 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Timmy1000: FG did *not* say she was I (if you're referring to her song post today); she said that all that she was, parodically, she owed to me -- which is a nice compliment, but untrue. I spotted the quality of the noob's work very quickly, else wouldn't have invited the private communication that resulted in her inviting me to collab with her. But I wouldn't have done that if she weren't already extremely accomplished, and wouldn't co-write if she didn't add considerably to my own efforts. I think she was having a little fun with that remark. Real meaning: "I owe my present (apparent) non-existence to TT" -- which, alas, is true, thanks to someone with a sick sense of humor or a sick, jealous, deluded, paranoid, angry mind. Thanks for v/c.

Mark Scotti: Game over. (See FG's song and our joint Lamb for details.) Thanks for v/c, and nice to see you again! Your absence was noted and regretted!

BoyWonder: Right. Two 180s = 360. Back where we started -- and that's where it stays.

Riddlegirl: What "signed" confession? I'm going to throw your own technique back at you, and point out that *anyone* could have posted that comment under my nick, since comments aren't password-protected. Besides, the statement above was under oath, which your "confession" wasn't, or do you not know the meaning of "sworn and deposed"? ... no, I guess you don't. So:

"Sworn" means that you have sworn to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, under penalty of perjury, which in the US is a felony punishable by five years in prison. "Deposed" refers not to a monarch being overthrown, but has the same root word as "deposition" -- when the lawyer for the other side calls you in before a court reporter, who *swears you in*, and you give your testimony under oath, which may be used in court, especially should you later contradict your deposition (your "deposed" testimony) in court.

Oh heck, just look them up in the dictionary. I don't know why I'm wasting my time. But anyway:
Did you read me my rights before obtaining that "confession"? No? Invalid. Thrown out. Actually, it was waterboarded out of me.

Face it, Dude, you threw out your little suspicion, TT took the bait and threw it back to you, and you swallowed it hook, line, and sucker. (I *kill* me! heh heh). The End.

AFW: No, I'm not. See above, and the other two songs today and the extensive replies there. And I might not be done. But thanks for comment, and for vote, if any.

blackjack21: We *were* playing, "Let's have some fun at RG's expense", but as soon as it became hurtful to FG, TT quit playing immediately, as per posts at her and our songs today. Thanks for v/c.
Christie Marie M - December 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Hey TT!! Nice to see you again! So you're not FG all along! Riddlegirl had us tricked! Cuz' for awhile there I was confused, but I'm glad to learn the truth. Well, here's 5's. Oh, during your long-term absence, I had written two new parodies. You did say one time you looked forward to me writing again. So here I am and here are my parodies: Financial Hell (, and Thanksgiving ( You're parody gets 5's as usual!
TJ!C - December 02, 2009 - Report this comment
This MissTTry goes *way* beyond convoluted all the way to Kong'voluted via songvoluted... and I'm semi-fearful/strangely hopeful 'twil end in wrongohooTTed via schlongo'eweTTed
Andria - December 03, 2009 - Report this comment
I don't know whether to be amused or disgusted at the whole TT-is-FG scandal, but I know I find this parody to be funny, and I know I will vote with all 5s.
Tommy Turtle - December 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Christie Marie M: Back atcha! Nope, not FG and never have been... Would love to look at your parodies, but I've spent the past six hours composing a definitive answer to RG and everyone else, so could you give me a few days? Thanks for v/c!

TJC: For once, you lost me, with the semi-fearful/strangely hopeful (WTF?), but thanks for v/c!

Andria: I don't know, either, just that FG ended up being hurt, and that's bad. Thanks for the v/c.
Riddlegirl - December 03, 2009 - Report this comment

"someone with a sick sense of humor or a sick, jealous, deluded, paranoid, angry mind"

That about sums it, thanks for clearing everything up. :)
CMM @ TT - December 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Oh, that's no problem at all! You can look at them anytime you want! I was just giving you a heads up is all. Just so you know, starting tomorrow, I'm headed to Florida and won't be spoofing or commenting for the next two weeks. I am do so on my cell (has a web feature) once in awhile, but not always because it can be a real pain.
Riddlegirl - December 03, 2009 - Report this comment
"I don't know, either, just that FG ended up being hurt, and that's bad." Very good, playing on our sympathetic nature. Will likely gain you a lot of support; good move. It appears I've met my match, but I don't know if I want to work that hard. But you were counting on that too. Touche` :)

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