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Song Parodies -> "The End Of The World (Swine-Flu Style)"

Original Song Title:

"The End Of The World"

Original Performer:

Skeeter Davis

Parody Song Title:

"The End Of The World (Swine-Flu Style)"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Guess a SF-parody is mandatory... At Mark Scotti's über-clever title switch, someone commented that it's the media scare-mongering that should be satirized.... oh, wait, that was moi... As Jon Stewart mocked CNN's world map with Canada in red, "You color 40 million sqaure miles* red for SIX mild cases?" There are swine out there, alright, but it's got nothing to do with either pigs or viruses. YouTube video here.

Why do the swine go on whining?
News, seven days/twenty-four?
Don't you know it's the end of the world?
'Cause Black Plague's knockin' on the door? [1]

Why, CNN, go on bringing
Scares, like the plane, low above? [2]
Ratings: show, so they bend what they've hurled
And tend to panic, spread thereof

I wake up in the morning, and I wonder
Why ev'rything's the same as last night
I can't understand, with our fears falsely fanned
Why life ain't ended, dead from fright

Why do these farts go on bleating?
Why, MSN-BC, lie?
Look, fools, No! -- Not the trend you've unfurled
It's you and not the flu! -- Good-bye!

Why? -- These upstarts, frenzy-feeding?
Why do these guys even try?
[resume singing]
Don't they know? -- very few toes are curled
We've ended dread instead -- Nice try!

* 103,652,588 sq. km. for those folks in the rest of the world so backwards as to still be using the scientific, decimal-based metric system instead of the time-tested US measurements based on the lengths of the King's feet, arms, and --- n/m.

[1] The "Black Death", a/k/a "Black Plague", a/k/a "Bubonic Plague", killed a third to a half or more of the population of Europe and the Middle East during the 1300s. That is *not* going to happen this time, folks. You have TT's word on that.

[2] Flying the Presidential 747 low over Manhattan for a photo op? Now, *that* was scary. And stupid. And preventable.

© 2009 Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

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Pacing: 5.0
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Total Votes: 11

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Mark Scotti - April 30, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks for the reference, TT! Another classic has been born!!!
Patrick - April 30, 2009 - Report this comment
Ah! For the Good-Old-Days, when all we had to fear was fear itself. They've got pills for that, of course. But there are so many other things to be afraid of now. A great parody. If I could only get the last two lines of my next right wing diatribe finished.
alvin - April 30, 2009 - Report this comment
nice commentary on the weird times
John Barry - April 30, 2009 - Report this comment
Amen, man!
Multi-media Circus Ringmaster - April 30, 2009 - Report this comment
I'll thank you to keep your snout out of my business! I've spared no expense hiring the Holy Triumvirate of Hype-- David Copperfield, David Blaine, and David Geffen to orchestrate this orgy of Porcine Publicity and here you go all deflating n' debunking, ewe swine, ewe!
(BTW... would you consider working for the other side?)
Chance Gollnick - April 30, 2009 - Report this comment
Nice Parodie title and all around great song!
Andy Primus - April 30, 2009 - Report this comment
[1] I hope you're right. Can the half that survive sue if you're not?
Tommy Turtle - April 30, 2009 - Report this comment
Mark Scott: Thanks, Mark!
Patrick: I won't even ask why a self-identified right-winger is quoting FDR lol! Thanks, Patrick.... need some help on two lines? email me via the recaptcha link at the bottom.
alvin: weird they be! thanks alvin.
John Barry, thanks.
Multi-media Circus Ringmaster: Sorry to have rained on your parade, so to speak. ... Thanks for the kind offer, but what am I, Arlen Spector? .... lol. thanks for v/c, MMCR
Chance Gollnick, thanks!
Andy Primus: Sure, they can sue me for every ounce of seaweed I have piled up on the beach! ... Remeber Asian flu, bird flu, Ebola virus, West Nile virus?... whatever happened to those guys, at least in the civilized, sanitized, non-Third World? ...thanks for v/c, Andy.
Phil Alexander - May 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Does the scaremongering count as one flu over the cuckoo's nest?

..incidentally, with all the comparisons floating around with the 1918 epidemic, one thing that is often missed is that a lot of the deaths then were due to secondary bacterial infection (pneumonia and the like), for which we have antibiotics these days. Not that influenza isn't nasty, but a sense of proportion is required when dealing with this sort of risk level.
MIKE STOBBE, AP Medical Writer - May 01, 2009 - Report this comment
2145 pm UTC 1 May 2009
ATLANTA – The swine flu virus that has frightened the world is beginning to look a little less ominous. New York City officials reported Friday that the swine flu still has not spread beyond a few schools. In Mexico, very few relatives of flu victims seem to have caught the virus.

One flu expert says there's no reason to believe the new virus is a more serious strain than seasonal flu. And a federal health official said the new flu virus doesn't appear to have genes that made the 1918 pandemic flu strain so deadly.
Tommy Turtle - May 01, 2009 - Report this comment
MIke Stobbe, thanks for sharing. Phil and I knew it all along -- we are sooo ahead of you guys -- but appreciate the confirmation.

Phil A.: That pun is sicker than the swine flu itself, and almost (but not quite) as sick as the media hype. (In other words, good one! :-)
Looks like you and I had it nailed all along -- surprise! (d'oh). I assume that your media are every bit as scare-mongery-hype-frenzy as ours (since you wrote about it too) -- do you expect they'll apologize for instilling all that needless panic? Wouldn't hold our breaths (turtle would have you beat any day, anyway). Thanks for v/c, Phil!
TT Calling Andy Primus - May 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Cancel your lawyer. Looks like no lawsuits coming!
Tommy Turtle @ Andy Primus and Everyone-- It's Officially Over, Folks - August 13, 2010 - Report this comment,0,7966892.story

"World Health Organization says swine flu pandemic is over". (Jay Leno said that's because it never got started. - TT.)

GENEVA (AP) — "The World Health Organization declared the swine flu pandemic officially over Tuesday, months after many national authorities started canceling vaccine orders and shutting down telephone hot lines as the disease ebbed from the headlines.... "

Andy, glad you didn't spend any money on a lawyer -- er, "barrister", right? -- or did you?

Not a case of "I Told You So", even though - n/m. ;-D Just a case of comparing media hype to, uh, what's the word? Oh, yeah, FACTS -- even the media have forgotten that word. Didn't take anything more than a pea-brained reptile to see that the latter didn't justify the former.

TT's only question: We know the media will still hype the next illness -- the next *everything*, actually. Will we learn anything from this, and show a bit more skepticism instead of panicking?

Thanks to all for the v/c, and for (at the moment) more than 600 page views. (Thanks to "reality" for any further publicity.)

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