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Song Parodies ->Authors -> Arwen

As my two year anniversary of being a site resident draws nearer, I have finally decided to write one of these things. Nobody could ever accuse me of being quick on the uptake...

I began writing parodies when I was an effort to annoy people. Oh, how my intentions have changed. Until I found the site I thought that I was part of a rare know, it was me and Weird Al, and the guys at Low Book Sales...(Utah thing...though I'm from Wyoming) I was more than tickled to find an online community full of folks who knew what the art of parody was all about. It became my goal to infiltrate said community and to become their Queen. Yeah...I'll leave it to you to decide if I've accomplished that one yet...

Given my chosen screen name, I submitted mostly LOTR related stuff at first...and then slowly began sharing, through parody, the essential truths that make me who I am. In case you haven't read my discography's all you really need to know about me:

1. I am unrelentingly charming and adorable. This is indisputable. I only mention it so much because it adds to said charm.

2. I am also unrelentingly clumsy. Were it not for my charm and adorable-ness...I would have been voted "Most Likely to Break Her Back While Dancing" in High School. Sadly, those who were inclined to give me said title would eventually be proven right. Seriously. I did that once. Thankfully, I was not paralyzed...and my full mobility has allowed me to continue falling at ridiculous times and places throughout my life.

3. I am somewhat prone to attracting the 'wrong' men. I am, therefore, least until Vin Diesel gives up the "I'm not in love with Arwen" charade and comes to marry me. I have every bit of confidence that he will.

4. I am, on occassion, a bit of a flirt. Just a little one. You probably wouldn't even notice that if I didn't point it out.

And finally...

5. I am, in spite of the countless arguments to the contrary, my biggest fan. I couldn't love myself more if I tried. And trust me, I've tried.

So, that's me in a nutshell. If you want to know have to read the stuff. I think I'm known for writing 'slice of life' type stuff...and a large portion of my work is based on stuff that has actually happened to me. I'll leave it to you to figure out what's real and what isn't.

Thanks for checking my page out...

Have fun...

And just admit already have a little bit of a crush on me, don't you? ; )

Song Parodies -> Lyrics

Click on a column header to resort the page (ascending order, click again for decending order). Resorting on large pages might take a minute on slower machines.

Parody TitleOriginal TitlePerformerSubmitted
My Elf Crush is BiAmerican PieDon McLean2003-11-20
Ring Bearing ManPiano ManBilly Joel2003-11-20
Arwen's Lament 2Head Over FeetAlanis Morrisette2003-11-20
Arwen's LamentYou Oughta KnowAlanis Morrisette2003-11-20
MayoHelloNeil Diamond2003-11-21
Cranberry JuiceSong Sung BlueNeil Diamond2003-11-21
NamelessShamelessGarth Brooks or Billy Joel2003-11-21
Celebrity AffirmationAffirmationSavage Garden2003-11-21
We Need Three New JugsHow Deep Is Your Love?The Bee Gees2003-11-22
'Cuz There's No TurkeyBecause You Loved MeCeline Dion2003-11-26
My Favorite LOTR ThingsMy Favorite ThingsMaria in 'The Sound of Music'2003-11-28
The Longest Time (my LOTR obsession)The Longest TimeBilly Joel2003-12-02
Thank You TolkienThank YouAlanis Morrisette2003-12-03
An Ode to Strong BadThe Way You Make Me FeelMichael Jackson2003-12-04
I Will Walk to MordorI'll Be Home for ChristmasTraditional2003-12-08
Let's Hear it For the ElfLet's Hear it For the BoyDenise Williams2003-12-11
A Song about Sugar Cravings...Lost in Your EyesDebbie Gibson2003-12-12
Mortal Ho-bagTeenage DirtbagWheatus2003-12-12
Frodo, the Angst Filled HobbitRudolph the Rednosed ReindeerTraditional2003-12-12
My Name is ArwenMy Name is LukaSuzanne Vega2003-12-17
Tricksy Little HobbitsssRainy Days and MondaysThe Carpenters2003-12-18
A Subtle PleaMy Name Is LukaSuzanne Vega2003-12-18
Rohan's GirlJessie's GirlRick Springfield2003-12-19
My Theatre ExperienceTom's DinerSuzanne Vega2003-12-19
I Just Watched 'Gigli'More Than A FeelingBoston2003-12-22
Get Ready (Faramir's Song)Get ReadyThe Temptations2003-12-31
My Guy (Arwen's version)My GuyMary Wells2003-12-31
Can't Believe It's OverDon't Dream It's OverCrowded House2003-12-31
I've Got the Damn FluWhy Can't ILiz Phair2004-01-06
So Long, Farewell (An LOTR Curtain Call)So Long, FarewellThe Von Trapp Family Singers2004-01-07
Lost For WordsLost in LoveAir Supply2004-01-14
The Fall of the StumblerThe Eye of the TigerSurvivor2004-01-14
We Wrote These EmailsWe Built This CityStarship2004-01-14
Cherish (My Anti Management Song)CherishMadonna2004-01-14
Worthless RingwraithsWonderwallOasis2004-01-15
Somebody Help Me (I Can't Reach the Highest Shelf)Don't Let Me Get MePink2004-01-19
Fall DownDowntownPetula Clark2004-01-21
Losing to the Cougars (Is So Crappy!)Sunshine on my Shoulders (Makes me Happy)John Denver2004-01-22
Bad ConjugationAnticipationCarly Simon2004-01-25
I Can't Write About Lord of the RingsStrong EnoughSheryl Crow2004-01-29
Lash Out at Me (The woes of Samwise Gamgee)Crash Into MeThe Dave Matthews Band2004-02-01
I Broke My BackI Want You BackNSYNC2004-03-23
Messaging (My Battle with Text Messaging)YesterdayThe Beatles2004-04-05
Wasting Time at WorkCracklin' RosieNeil Diamond2004-04-07
Don't Blame Me For That FartDon't Go Breakin' My HeartElton John & Kiki Dee2004-04-07
Somebody Stole My SweaterEven The Nights Are BetterAir Supply2004-04-15
Don't Buy Me GlovesCan't Buy Me LoveThe Beatles2004-04-28
I'm Going to Get to You (Padfoot's song for Wormtail)From Me to YouThe Beatles2004-04-30
Waiting for The Prisoner of AzkabanLet it BeThe Beatles2004-04-30
A Hogwarts Fight SongOklahoma!The Cast of Oklahoma!2004-04-30
He's Loose From AzkabanI Want To Hold Your HandThe Beatles2004-05-15
Do You Really Think I'm Vain?Have You Ever Seen the RainCreedence Clearwater Revival2004-05-29
There's A StainPenny LaneThe Beatles2004-06-02
Mister LupinMr. PostmanThe Carpenters2004-06-02
I Just Need to Pout (The Bratty Girlfriend Song)We Can Work it OutThe Beatles2004-06-05
Hey Dude (I'm talking to YOU, Cuaron)Hey JudeThe Beatles2004-06-09
The Ballad of Sam & FrodoThe Ballad of John & YokoThe Beatles2004-06-09
I Hate When My Legs Look WhiteThe Way You Look TonightTony Bennett2004-06-09
Here's to You, Kristof RobertsonMrs. RobinsonSimon & Garfunkel2004-06-15
That's Where Crickets Will HideTicket to RideThe Beatles2004-06-15
I'm On Fire & I'm in PainFire and RainJames Taylor2004-06-15
Arwen's Theme (When I Get Stuck Out With a Guy Who's Really Zitty)Arthur's Theme (When You Get Caught Between the Moon & New York City)Christopher Cross2004-06-22
She's Turned BlueShe Love's YouThe Beatles2004-06-24
Glancing's MeanDancing QueenAbba2004-06-28
Pull Your Pants Up, PleaseTake a Chance on MeABBA2004-07-01
My Name is Arwen (If you love me, you'll read this)LukaSuzanne Vega2004-07-07
Got Caught Getting Net Friendly (Oh What a Fight)December 1963 (Oh What a Night)The Four Seasons (featuring Frankie Valli)2004-07-10
Hey, When I Wanna (My typical dating cycle)Lady MadonnaThe Beatles2004-07-14
A Residential FilmExperimental FilmThey Might Be Giants2004-07-15
I Need To Find a ManThe Leader of the BandDan Fogelberg2004-07-21
Writing's What I Love (my take on the whole voting fiasco)Friday I'm in LoveThe Cure2004-07-30
I've Broken A Bone NowI Think We're Alone NowTommy James and the Shondells2004-08-04
Smile (The Cheer Up Ashkicksass Song)Smile (The Charlie Chaplin Song)Traditional2004-08-18
I Only Love You For Your CarJust the Way You AreBilly Joel2004-08-23
We'll Make Fun of YouThree's Company (Theme Song)Jack & Chrissy & Janet??2004-08-27
Parody (Or, The Lack Thereof)YesterdayThe Beatles2004-09-07
Smooshed A Big SpiderPaperback WriterThe Beatles2004-09-27
I Don't Like Being Stalked By YouI Only Want To Be With YouDusty Springfield2004-10-06
I'm Not a FanThe CandymanSammy Davis Jr.2004-10-07
It's A PainPenny LaneThe Beatles2004-10-15
(You Make Me Feel Like) Punching You, Patrolman!(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural WomanCarole King2004-10-27
I'll BorrowTomorrowThe Cast of Annie2004-11-04
I'm So Clumsy--Ow!Who Can It Be NowMen At Work2004-11-05
I Saw His Body HairI Saw Her Standing ThereThe Beatles2004-11-16
Visa's PreferredGrease (Is the Word)Frankie Valli2004-12-05
Tech Support FredLady in RedChris De Burgh2004-12-05
The Price is HighThe Tide is HighBlondie2004-12-07
Gotta Go!Let it SnowTraditional2004-12-07
Melanoma!Oklahoma!Rodgers and Hammerstein2004-12-07
I Hope You LaughI Hope You DanceLee Ann Womack2004-12-13
This Guy's So Gross To MeDon't Stand So Close To MeThe Police2004-12-22
(I Spent Just a) Bit More Than He'd PlannedWinter WonderlandTraditional2004-12-22
Could I Have a Tiny Little Kiss, Miss?Have Yourself a Merry Little ChristmasTraditional2004-12-23
A Gumball Broke My ToothThe Policy of TruthDepeche Mode2005-01-06
I'd Be Vin Diesel's Wife (among others)You Light Up My LifeDebbie Boone2005-01-20
Say, Say, Say (HAPPY B-DAY ASHKICKSASS!)Say, Say, SayPaul McCartney & Michael Jackson2005-01-20
That's What Friends Are For (For Ashkicksass)That's What Friends Are ForDionne W, Elton J, Gladys K, & Stevie W2005-01-20
Shame!Fame!Irene Cara2005-02-23
Help, I Can't ReachPapa Don't PreachMadonna2005-02-25
Mister BloomIn My RoomThe Beach Boys2005-03-22
My Pants Are Too TightLet's Go Fly a KiteMary Poppins Soundtrack2005-03-28
Working To Pay Back The ZooWorking My Way Back To YouFrankie Valli And the Four Seasons2005-04-01
Always Suspects Walking Behind MeAlways Something There To Remind MeNaked Eyes2005-04-05
It's Still Not Parole For MeIt's Still Rock and Roll To MeBilly Joel2005-04-07
When It's Time To Buy A Car...When You Wish Upon A StarDisney/Jiminy Cricket2005-04-08
You Really Hurt My FeelingsYou've Lost That Lovin' FeelingThe Righteous Brothers2005-04-11
SpendingWindyThe Association2005-04-20
Will You Wear the Pants?Do You Wanna Dance?The Ramones2005-05-03
Divine Goddess of the Brave New WorldEverybody Wants to Rule the WorldTears For Fears2005-05-03
Get Off the BoatDon't Rock the BoatHues Corporation2005-05-16
AnacondaHelp Me, RhondaThe Beach Boys2005-05-17
It's My Part (He Went and Gave it to Dumb Sue)It's My PartyLesley Gore2005-05-19
Think I've Got a Crush on Harry PotterMrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely DaughterHerman's Hermits2005-05-20
Tell Her About It (things you shouldn't keep fromTell Her About ItBilly Joel2005-06-15
Wrong Time RelieverDaydream BelieverThe Monkees2005-06-17
You Can't Be Boba FettYou Ain't Seen Nothin' YetBachman-Turner Overdrive2005-06-22
Crazy Makin' PrinterHazy Shade of WinterSimon & Garfunkel2005-07-14
Everything I Know About You Is All WrongI'll Have To Say I Love You In A SongJim Croce2005-07-29
The Sounds Through My VentsThe Sound of SilenceSimon and Garfunkel2005-08-05
I Am UndeadI Am, I SaidNeil Diamond2005-08-15
Piano BanPiano ManBilly Joel2005-08-24
When I Shove HerAnd I Love HerThe Beatles2005-09-02
(I Might Be) Wrong This TimeThe Longest TimeBilly Joel2005-09-07
I Broke His NoseAnd So It GoesBilly Joel2005-09-08
Traits of the Guy Who Should Give Me a RingMy Favorite ThingsJulie Andrews/The Sound of Music2005-09-26
Booty's UnreleasedBeauty and the BeastBeauty and the Beast Soundtrack2005-10-03
The GloveThe RoseBette Midler2005-10-06
What's the Most Wonderful Kind of Career?It's the Most Wonderful Time of the YearAndy Williams2005-10-07
Say, Where Did My Date Wayne Go?Somewhere Over the RainbowJudy Garland2005-10-12
I ComplainYou're So VainCarly Simon2005-10-14
Pete Cut in Line!Sweet CarolineNeil Diamond2005-10-21
Drip Dryin' TodaySlip Sliding AwayPaul Simon2005-10-21
One Bloke Oughta Be Fine (A Springer Show Anthem)One Toke Over the LineBrewer and Shipley2005-10-26
No Buddy Don't UnfetterNobody Does It BetterCarly Simon2005-11-08
Keep Avoiding YouKeep On Lovin' YouREO Speedwagon2005-11-16
Don't Know Who I'll Invite (to the Company Party)The Way You Look TonightTony Bennett2005-11-29
I Caught Tommy Sniffing Hannah's BrasI Saw Mommy Kissing Santa ClausJimmy Boyd2005-12-01
(My Guy) Wants a Little Help With My FriendWith a Little Help From My FriendThe Beatles2006-02-03
Buy Me ShoesLove Me DoThe Beatles2006-02-27
Can't Find Me a GuyAmerican PieDon McLean2006-03-01
Wish Joaq Were MineI Walk the LineJohnny Cash2006-03-11
A Throne Again, NaturallyAlone Again, NaturallyGilbert O'Sullivan2006-03-17
The Major-Gold Digger's SongThe Major-General's SongGilbert and Sullivan2006-03-20
50 Days to Find a Lover50 Ways to Leave Your LoverPaul Simon2006-04-03
My Fav'rite ColleaguesMy Favorite ThingsJulie Andrews2006-05-09
The X-Woman Wannabe's SongThe Major General's SongGilbert & Sullivan2006-06-12
The Worst Day Ever (An Anti-Trampoline Song)Yellow SubmarineThe Beatles2006-07-12
Mike's WifeMy LifeBilly Joel2006-07-26
Louisiana (And the Purchase Thereof)CopacabanaBarry Manilow2006-07-27
The Writer We Know As Jeff ReubenThe Wreck of the Edmund FitzgeraldGordon Lightfoot2006-08-18
Red Rubber BraRed Rubber BallSimon and Garfunkel2006-08-21
One Week (Straining To Write Something For SOTM)One WeekBarenaked Ladies2006-08-31
Love PretenderLove Me TenderElvis Presley2006-08-31
She's In the LochI Wanna RockTwisted Sister2006-09-18
That Poison StrummerThe Boys of SummerDon Henley2006-09-20
Heaven Only KnowsUnderneath Your ClothesShakira2006-10-05
Workin' Girl BluesCocaine BluesJohnny Cash2006-10-16
Better Not Count On MeLove In The First DegreeAlabama2006-10-20
Head Banging Men!It's Raining Men!The Weather Girls2006-11-06
A Study Of The Mind Of A Single WomanShe's Always A WomanBilly Joel2006-11-20
Ever Since A Lion Ate My HandWinter WonderlandTraditional2006-12-04
It Ain't Chevy, It's Your BrotherHe Ain't Heavy, He's My BrotherThe Hollies2006-12-21
Told Me Without Any WarningOh What A Beautiful MorningRodgers and Hammerstein2007-01-04
Choked Aroma!Oklahoma!Rodgers and Hammerstein2007-01-04
PateBad DayDaniel Powter2007-02-08
Gnomes AboundHomeward BoundSimon & Garfunkel2007-03-28
Spell Check WomanRedneck WomanGretchen Wilson2007-04-09
Different BumDifferent DrumLinda Ronstadt2007-06-11
EyeshadowMoonshadowCat Stevens2007-06-11
SpringfieldDowntownPetula Clark2007-07-17
I Didn't Join the ChoirWe Didn't Start the FireBilly Joel2007-07-24
We're Cleanin' NowPeroxide SwingMichael Buble2007-09-20
Robot In DisguiseLost In Your EyesDebbie Gibson2007-10-15
This New Part Of Mine (Can't Make It Through)This Old Heart Of Mine (Is Weak For You)The Isley Brothers2007-10-23
I Play Guitar Hero All Nite, And Halo Every Day!Rock And Roll All NiteKISS2007-11-12
On HalloweenCome On EileenSave Ferris2007-11-27
Lumberjack FighterPaperback WriterThe Beatles2007-11-28
What Compels Me Not To Bathe When I Should?I'm Into Something GoodHerman's Hermits2007-11-29
SerenadePenny LaneThe Beatles2007-12-02
I Hold Scissors When I Run (And Other Bad Habits)The House Of The Rising SunThe Animals2007-12-04
Body HairSolitaireThe Carpenters2007-12-07
Amazing Fashion ShowExperimental FilmThey Might Be Giants2007-12-21
S.O.S. (Rescue Me--Crazy Dream Version)S.O.S. (Rescue Me)Rihanna2008-01-15
Already BlondeAlready GoneThe Eagles2008-01-17
Night VisionNight FeverThe Bee Gees2008-01-30
The Search Is Over (My Science Project)The Search Is OverSurvivor2008-02-12
Office Party/Conga LineSummer of 69Bryan Adams2008-06-10
It's All Been DoneIt's All Been DoneBarenaked Ladies2008-12-12
Platonic? (Mixed Signals)IronicAlanis Morissette2008-12-14
A Lover of CrustA Matter of TrustBilly Joel2008-12-23
I Hate Krispy KremesI Go To ExtremesBilly Joel2008-12-25
Hannah MontanaCopacabanaBarry Manilow2009-01-11
Brad Dumped His Wife; Got Me InsteadRaindrops Keep Fallin' On My HeadBJ Thomas2009-01-19
My New Furry LoveYou Can't Hurry LoveThe Supremes2009-02-01
Cart Wranglin' GuyWanted Dead or AliveBon Jovi2009-02-18
Who Put The 'Mote (A Couch Potato's Anthem)Who Put The Bomp (In the Bomp Bomp Bomp)Barry Mann2009-02-22
CroquetBad DayDaniel Powter2009-03-08
Hot N Old (A Cougar's Anthem)Hot N ColdKaty Perry2009-03-08
So Many Beings I Love (But I Won't Do Cats)I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)Meat Loaf2009-03-22
Escape (The Trapped By Cannibals Song)Escape (The Pina Colada Song)Rupert Holmes2009-04-07
Guys From the ShireGreat Balls of FireJerry Lee Lewis2009-04-22
You Need to Shake My HandThe Leader of the BandDan Fogelberg2009-05-04
Hey There Delilah (Of Late Night Radio Fame)Hey There DelilahPlain White T's2009-05-11
Fell In Love With SpockLeader Of The PackThe Shangri-Las2009-06-14
Take A Vow (As Sung By Your Bitter, Always Single, In Denial, Friend)Take A BowRihanna2009-08-05
Breaking Stuff In VegasWaking Up In VegasKaty Perry2009-08-25
Trailer Park Beauty QueenSeventeenWinger2009-09-14
Printer's On The Fritz (Among Other Things!)Puttin' On The RitzTaco2009-10-21
The Joys of Halloween In WyomingThey Don't KnowTracey Ullman2009-10-25
Brady Bunch TonightWaiting For TonightJennifer Lopez2009-11-08
Where's All The Change?Some People ChangeKenny Chesney2009-11-22
"What Liquids Are In Here?"Do You Hear What I HearCarrie Underwood2009-12-06
Solo And IndianaCopacabanaBarry Manilow2010-01-10
The Gotta BleatWe Got The BeatThe Go-Go's2010-01-31
Don't Fight MeDon't Trust Me3OH!32010-03-07
The Perfect HubbyThe Perfect NannyMary Poppins Soundtrack2011-01-26
Conspirital GirlMaterial GirlMadonna2011-01-31
Ben (An Open Letter To Mr. Roethlisberger )BenMichael Jackson2011-02-03
Unanswered Prayers (As Revealed By Facebook)Unanswered PrayersGarth Brooks2011-03-02
Flirt So GoodHurts So GoodJohn Mellencamp2011-05-18
I'm Always Gonna Cheer For You...Maybe...If You Win...I Only Want To Be With YouDusty Springfield2011-08-29
In The Middle Of My FlightThe River of DreamsBilly Joel2011-10-20
Th' Broom Th' BroomSh Boom Sh BoomThe Crew Cuts2011-11-03
Let Them Eat CakeThat's Not My NameThe Ting Tings2011-12-21
The Day My Wussy Boyfriend & I Met BigfootBelieveCher2012-01-26
Guys I've DatedComplicatedAvril Lavigne2012-02-10
Findin' PrancerTiny DancerElton John2012-03-15
Sleeparound ShaunRunaround SueDion2012-04-17
JarsOursTaylor Swift2012-04-30
No One Is That LameNo One Is To BlameHoward Jones2012-05-31
I FrownDowntownPetula Clark2012-06-21
Your J-Lo CollectionThe Rainbow ConnectionKermit the Frog2012-06-26
Hive Walkin'Jive Talkin'Bee Gees2012-07-31
Run Into Somebody That I Used To KnowSomebody That I Used To KnowGotye2012-08-29
No Nancy Grace!Your Smiling FaceJames Taylor2012-09-26
Those Who, Perhaps, Shouldn't VoteMy Favorite ThingsJulie Andrews2012-10-22
Please Don't Ever Ever Wear a Christmas SweaterWe Are Never Ever Getting Back TogetherTaylor Swift2012-12-14
Less VibratoDesperadoThe Eagles2013-04-30