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Song Parodies -> "Louisiana (And the Purchase Thereof)"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Barry Manilow

Parody Song Title:

"Louisiana (And the Purchase Thereof)"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

In 1803, the United States negotiated the purchase of the Louisiana Territory from France for 15 million dollars. Initially, President Thomas Jefferson sent a minister, Robert Livingston, to offer Napoleon 2 million dollars for a small tract of land on the lower Mississippi, where Americans could build their own seaport. Impatient at the lack of news, Jeffferson sent James Monroe to Paris to offer 10 million dollars for New Orleans and West Florida. Almost at the same time, France had offered Livingston all of Louisiana for 15 million. With completion of the deal, America doubled in size, making it one of the largest nations in the world. A few weeks after the purchase, President Jefferson had Congress appropriate 2,500 dollars to fund an expedition, lead by Meriwether Lewis and William Clark, to explore the unknown land.
His name was Tommy
He lead a nation
The States were young and undefined
Had some worries on his mind
To get a Seaport
Was his intention
So he sent Robert Liv-ing-ston
Off to see Napoleon
Bob opened up the door
Must have built good rapport
Because the French gave up New Orleans
Oh and so much more!

We would purchase Louisiana
Much more than what had been the plan-a
What a steal that, Louisiana
Three cents an acre
Be nuts not to take her
We would purchase
Land that I love

I'll call him "Poley"
Cute little Emp'ror
He had a problem on his hands
He was stuck with too much land
We made an offer
He thought it over
He said, "Hey guys, you are in luck
Just throw in a few more bucks
I've got a deal for you
Along with Orleans, New
You can have all the land that we've got!"
And the deal was through!

So we purchased Louisiana
From North Texas up to Montana
Yeah, we purchased Louisiana
One big Dakota
'Long with Minnesota
And we purchased
Land that I love

(Purchased Louisiana)
(Kansas Nebraska)
("Plus more?" You ask...yeah)

Now back to Tommy
He still had problems
He'd have to always be on guard
For what's in his new backyard
He called a captain
Whose name was Meri
Said, "Buddy, pack up all your gear
Go explore the new frontier"
He grabbed his good friend, Clark
Westward they did embark
They took their little camping trip out
Past Yell-ow-stone Park!

Since we'd purchased Lousiana
"The West" went way past Indiana
Glad we purchased Louisiana
Here in Wyoming
No French am I knowing
Bless the Purchase
Land that I love
Land that I love
This is probably the only time I'll get an assignment done so quickly, Mr. Robertson...enjoy it.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 26

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   26

User Comments

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AFW - July 27, 2006 - Report this comment
This is soooo good!...tiptoe brilliant...A fantastic American humerous history lesson...Parodies like this should be used in our learning institutions..then, have singing instructors...It would sure make history a lot more fun...Great, great job!
Matthias - July 27, 2006 - Report this comment
Talking about being quick on the uptake... I'm still trying to figure out what is classified as Easy Listening, heh... But this ma'am was impressive, not only because of the speed of it, but because of you're knowledge of US History. Looks and Brians.... Always mean 5's!
Paul Robinson - July 27, 2006 - Report this comment
This one is real impressive, even made an OS I absolutely DETEST interesting here (long story...I once heard it played about every 1/2 hour for 24 hours). Gave us nice History and Humor lesson at the same time. I'm giving you an "A+" for the History and three "5's" for the Parody Instruction ~ ~ ~
Lionel Mertens - July 27, 2006 - Report this comment
I agree with AFW and what he had to say about this. 5's
alvin rhodes - July 27, 2006 - Report this comment
a scream....this is the way history should be taught
John Barry - July 27, 2006 - Report this comment
"I'll call him 'Poley'." Fantastique!
Johnny D - July 27, 2006 - Report this comment
AWESOME pacing & history lesson! 555!
Tim Hall - July 27, 2006 - Report this comment
A great combination of flow and content that would put the History Channel to shame.
Rick C - July 27, 2006 - Report this comment
Oooh! Nicely done, Arwen! For someone who doesn't like assignments and deadlines, this is perfectly executed. 555+++
Stuart McArthur - July 27, 2006 - Report this comment
WOW!...but I'm confused - which one was your boyfriend? Tom or Poley (not even going to guess) - j/k (no wrath, please!!) - this was perfectly paced and funny, some cool wordplay, and one of your best, Arwen - 555
Meriadoc - July 28, 2006 - Report this comment
I love historical parodies! This was great!
Michael Pacholek - July 28, 2006 - Report this comment
What do you get when you cross the music of Barry Manilow with the charm, wit and allure of Arwen? About halfway... Once I got Barry's cloying vocals out of my head, this became a tour de force -- without the need for drug tests. (That's a sports joke -- barely.) And, of course, the northeastern two-thirds of Wyoming (her home State) were included in the Purchase, so she has a definite benefit here. I should say, though, that no one ever called Captain Lewis "Meri" -- or called Lieutenant Clark "Pippin." (That's an Amiright joke.) Before setting out, Lewis was Jefferson's "personal secretary." Today, the job would be equivalent to a combination of communications director (if you watched "The West Wing," Toby), chief speechwriter (Sam), press secretary (C.J.) and deputy chief of staff (Josh). As for Arwen's job here, it was spectacular. If it wasn't... I probably would've kept my thoughts to myself.
Agimorfee - July 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Great history lesson, Arwen! (but I'd call him "Nappy", as Bugs Bunny once did in a cartoon). 555
Agimorfee - July 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Great history lesson, Arwen! (but I'd call him "Nappy", as Bugs Bunny once did in a cartoon). 555
PMS - July 28, 2006 - Report this comment
This made me laugh historically!!
Ashkicksass - July 30, 2006 - Report this comment
WOW! I am just enthralled here! It's absolutely perfect!!
Millard - July 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Very good, particularly the "acre/take her" couplet and the Napoleon verse.
Arwen - July 31, 2006 - Report this comment
AFW...Thank you soooo much!! I agree that history should have been taught via parody...I know that I would have retained a whole lot more of what I "learned" in school...=)

Matthias...yes, sir...Looks AND's something of a curse, to tell the truth. =) Thanks very much! really appreciate your kind comments, considering the emotional damage the OS seems to have cause in your life...; ) Thanks a bunch!

Lionel...well, feel free in sharing in the thanks I gave to AFW, then...; )

Alvin...thanks a million!! Again, I concur!

John...Merci! I have to admit I love that line, too...=)


Tim...actually, I've already contacted the History Channel, and they are, in deed, shamed. They've asked if they can air a documentar about the Purchase with this as the background music. I told them I'd think about it. ; ) Thanks!

Rick...thank you! Like I said, the inspiration hit me, and I had no choice but to go with it until it was done...seriously, lesser parodies have flown in one side of my brain and out the other because I failed to work on them immediately...=) Thanks!

Stuart...well of course you're right to wonder, as I ONLY write parodies about the men I've found myself smitten with. In this case, however, I was actually trying to make it obvious that I was in love with Robert Livingston. (insert massive scowl here) Back to the drawing board...

Merry...HOORAY! I'm so glad! Thanks!

Michael...of COURSE Wyoming was part of the Purchase...why else would have I have continually referred to the Land that I Love? Contrary to a widespread rumor, which was started by two hopeful bloggers in Fargo, I have NO loyalties whatsoever to either of the Dakotas. And, of COURSE it was spectacular...I wrote it after all...; ) Thanks!!

Agri...(I think?)...thanks a bunch! I actually had "Nappy" in my first draft, and was under the impression that it was an original thought, having never seen that cartoon. It's probably better this I would have wandered around, head all BIG...and then been shattered if I actually saw Bugs say it. = )

Agri...(I think...again?)...thanks a bunch! I actually had "Nappy" in my first draft, and...oh you get the picture!!

PMS...HEE! Thanks!

Ashkicker...thank you VERY much, missy! I really appreciate it...and you know how happy I get just to see that you've stopped by!

Millard...thanks thanks thanks! I'm really glad you liked it!
leo jay - August 04, 2006 - Report this comment
That is freakin' AWESOME! Brilliantly clever.
Arwen - August 09, 2006 - Report this comment
Well Mister Leo Jay...fancy seeing you here! I'm so thrilled to even have you leave a comment, that it wouldn't have matter what you said. I mean, I probably would have taken exception to "This sucks, you revolting Elf," but other than that, I think you would have won me over no matter what! Thanks!! =)
tomario - August 14, 2006 - Report this comment
DECATHLON who'd have thought u s history could be so rhythmical ? 555
Johnny D - August 14, 2006 - Report this comment
(Decathlon) See above!
Jeff Reuben - August 15, 2006 - Report this comment
Awesome job! At some point I probably knew the purchase went to Montana, but those brain cells are long gone. So I learned something new, again, today! A history lesson to a good beat.
Josh 2 - August 17, 2006 - Report this comment
excellent job, reminded me of spaff's eat the french, excellently put together, 5s
bobpiecheese - August 25, 2006 - Report this comment
(Decathlon - Event 1) Nice! Catchy song, history now I can pronounce Louisiana! Hooray for Arwen!
Stuart McArthur - August 25, 2006 - Report this comment
(decath1) brilliant, masterful, clever - and I did smile again at "nuts not to take her"
Arwen - August 27, 2006 - Report this comment
Tomario...thanks a bunch! I really appreciate it!

Johnny...just did! Thanks again!

Jeff...=) If nothing else, I live to teach you obscure facts. And to whine about football with you around mid-season. ; ) Thanks's always nice to remind someone of something that they LIKED...rather than something that they hated...; ) Oh...I'm assuming you liked Spaff's Eat the French...(oops...) Thanks! know, i never thought I'd teach so many people so many things that they didn't really care to know. It's quite fulfilling actually...; ) Thanks!

Stuart...JUST A SMILE??? No guffaws? =( Well...thanks anyway...I guess.
Kristof Robertson - August 28, 2006 - Report this comment
(DEC1) I would NEVER have come up with this subject matter in a million years, or created such a funny piece out of it...BRAVO! 555
Arwen - August 29, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks a bunch, Kristof...if you had asked me, even 2 days before this posted, if I'd ever write anything about the Louisiana Purchase, I would have laughed you off the site. =) I really appreciate your kind words!
Ferragamo - August 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Holy moley! Seems like I didn't get to see this when it first came out. I enjoyed it; you deserve a perfect 5-5-5 on this.
Joe - September 07, 2006 - Report this comment
Very entertaining. 5,5,5.
Arwen - September 08, 2006 - Report this comment
Ferragamo...the great thing is that I accept praise no matter when I receive it...=) So thanks a bunch!

Joe...thanks very much!
Mighty Walking Thesaurus - October 11, 2006 - Report this comment
It's official: you are the best parody writer on the site.
Arwen - October 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Now THAT is quite a statement. But if you think I'm going to argue with the greatest mythical creature of all time, aka The Mighty Walking Thesaurus...(I always knew you really existed!)'ve got another thing coming...; ) Thanks VERY much!!
Max Power - November 23, 2006 - Report this comment
The Charnstar - November 24, 2006 - Report this comment
ABC3 Sorry, I'm Australian, so I don't really understand what happened there, but I kinda know what Napoleron did. 5-5-5
Cat - November 24, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC-L) Stellar job, Arwen! This should be on Schoolhouse Rock!

But as a little side note, I thought you'd be interested to know that while most of Wyoming is indeed from the Louisiana Purchase, according to my AP US History textbook, the state is actually comprised of parts from FOUR territories! In addition to the Louisiana Purchase, it contains part of the Mexican Cession, Oregon Country, and even a little tiny part of the former upper branch of Texas...yee-haw!
Jason - November 25, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3L) Awesome.
Johnny D - November 26, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC) What Johnny D said twice!
Agrimorfee - November 28, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3) see above
Red Ant - November 29, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3L) I have to admit I was skeptical coming into this one - I really didn't like history classes in school, and haven't heard good things about Mr Manilow's music. Alas, you've made history by making history interesting and entertaining, and I even liked TOS! Top work here Arwen, lots of great rhymes, too. 555.
Michael McVey - December 04, 2006 - Report this comment
What a history lesson! The kids'll love it.----MM
Stuart McArthur - December 04, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3L) yes, well this is one of my fave parodies on the site, and I always admire it each time I read it - "Past Yell-ow-stone Park!" was very clever too, Arwen, and the whole thing just reads so well, and it has that perfect lght-hearted but informative tone - it reminds me of something (good) but I'm not sure what - top marks
Josh 2 - December 05, 2006 - Report this comment
As I said above, a great parody 5s
Matthias - December 06, 2006 - Report this comment
Recalling the past with the past....... What ever happened to the beginning of the Decathalon, sigh, It's now history
Doug - March 15, 2008 - Report this comment
This was just so amazing. And the Sweathogs thought Gabe Kotter was funny, he had nothing on you. (And I bet you don't tell long stories about relatives :-) As "Me" on, I wrote a bunch - if I would ever think of a Kotter parody set in this timeline, I shall have to have the teacher using your parodies. (Hmmm, which of the Sweathogs would be most likely to be the new teacher...) Anyway, great job.
LEPPArd - March 01, 2010 - Report this comment
seems ARWink is having some problems with the whole purchase thing. Pigs and aLL. So Arwen who is the teacher? stone in hand or head?
Stuart McArthur - March 19, 2018 - Report this comment
Checking this out again as it's the one I most remember of yours - still so clever, lightly touched, and perfect

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