“Need a rest, somewhere shady”
Those were the words that I said
Found a good spot according
To my jungle guide, Ted
But while we lay there nappin’
Somebody picked up our scent
We woke surrounded by natives
To eat us they were intent

And now they’re boilin’ some water
And me with ropes they restrain
That one threw in an onion
And said, “I call her brain!”
They’ll make a sacrifice at midnight
And I’ll BE in bad shape
Say, “How long should she cook for?”
Need to PLAN an escape!

(instrumental)

So now I’m goin' through my choices
I don’t want TO be cuisine
Keep hearin' hun-gry VOI-ces
They’re asking, “Which of these wines goes well with spleen?”
Still I try not to panic
Though Ted is really no help
‘Cause when they said, “He looks tender!”
He just passed out with a yelp

And while the fire’s gettin' hotter
They searched my purse on a whim
Now they see me as health food
Found my pass to Gold’s Gym
If I leave now it wouldn’t be too soon
As at my bi-ceps they gape
They rejoice through the valley
As I PLAN my escape

(instrumental)

So I strain ‘gainst these tight ropes
Fin’lly I slip the knot
The steaming BU-cket of gravy’s
The only WEA-pon I’ve got
And so I toss it with anger
And scream, “I’m…not your stew!”
Though they stare for a moment
Then I run; and they pursue

They’re eager now for the slaughter
'Cause half their DIN-ner has fled
And they keep gettin' closer
So I’m STILL filled with dread
They’ll keep chasin' me through the whole night
So en-TICED by my shape
I’m the meal that they’ve looked for
They won’t LET me escape

(instrumental)

Can’t say Hakuna Matata
Because they’re HOT on my trail
Climb a tree for protection?
No my BA-lance would fail
At dodging blow darts I’ve done alright
But I’ll POP like a grape
When they catch me I’m done for
No more PLANS for escape

(repeat to fade)