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Song Parodies -> "Croquet"

Original Song Title:

"Bad Day"

Original Performer:

Daniel Powter

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Games in the BACK-yard are those I love most
I just cut the grass so I’m happy to host
Oh I could play horse shoes ev’ry day
It’s perfect to pass the time away
Just hangin’ all day on the lawn

Let’s stand in a line sayin’ “Send over Joe!”
No tellin’ how LONG this Red Rover’ll go
There’s no way we’ll let him break our line
Knock him on his backside ev’ry time
Oh, all these lawn games are so fun!

But I won’t do croquet
I’ll put my foot down
I hate all the balls and the stakes in the ground
And I’d rather stick
My face in a shrub
Than try to hit balls with that dumb little club
“I won’t play croquet”
Will be my re-ply
And if you SUG-gest it; then I’ll tan your hide
I won’t do croquet
I won’t do croquet

If you should decide that GAME to play
Don’t be shocked if I should RUN away
‘Cause I can’t get my game face on

If you want croquet
The outlook is bleak
I’d rather do Bo-cce, or hide and go seek
I’ve got volleyball
In sand or the grass
But if you say “CRO-quet” then I’ll kick your ass
I don’t like croquet
And if you ask why
I’ll try to explain, but I’ll pro-bab-ly cry
What more can I say?


You know I broke my face at the rink
But I’d ice skate all day long
Before I would play croquet one time
And yes, my feelings ARE that strong
That game is wrong


Yeah it’s with a PASS-ion that I hate it the most
I’d rather die
Let’s play frisbee golf or throw rings on a post

‘Cause when playin’ croquet
I looked like a clown
I tripped on MY mal-let and fell to the ground
I stepped on a ball
To land on my gut
I’ve still got a WICK-et attached to my butt
From tryin’ croquet
I’ve got a black eye
The swelling’s gone down, but I’m still blind
From playin’ croquet
No freakin’ croquet

Ah..yeah…hate croquet
Don’t wanna play
No, no croquet

(fade to end)

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   14

User Comments

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Ash - March 09, 2009 - Report this comment
Oh my stomach hurts from laughing so hard. Honestly, it doesn't get ANY better than "I tripped on MY mal-let and fell to the ground, I stepped on a ball, To land on my gut, I’ve still got a WICK-et attached to my butt." Oh the mental pictures...
2Eagle - March 09, 2009 - Report this comment
Have you tried golf?
alvin - March 09, 2009 - Report this comment
my fave of the day...unique concept
Mark Scotti - March 09, 2009 - Report this comment
Great one, Arwen!
Invisible Boy - March 09, 2009 - Report this comment
Loved it, Arwen. 555 lawn darts for you.
Peregrin - March 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Heh heh. Croquet gets bad press! Then again, any press is good press as far far as croquet is concerned :)
Susanna Viljanen - March 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Arwen, ever tried jarts? Anyway, 555. My brother once came up with the brainfart of using ice hockey stick for croquet.
Christie Marie M - March 11, 2009 - Report this comment
I got to admit, croquet is not one of my favorite games, either. I used to play it with some classmates in school, but this girl had always cheated in that game, so I lost interest in croquet. It also reminded me so much of Alice in Wonderland where the Queen of Hearts cheats in that game all the time, and the movie Heathers. I echo IB's comments. It's all good! 555.
Matthias - March 12, 2009 - Report this comment
That last stanza is definitely the old Arwen in a heartbeat. This was one was good, really good, I can't even think of a line to nitpick on a contender for sure.
Arwen - March 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Ash...I really do live to make your stomach hurt. I love seeing you here. You know that. =)

2Eagle...hee hee. I actually tried golf once...(well, real golf...I'm a pro at miniature golf!)...on a date. Probably not the best activity for me to have chosen to impress a fellow. Wow. That's all I'm going to say.

alvin...well thanks! I'm so glad that you liked it!

Mark...thank you!

IB...=) I've actually never played lawn darts. I'd advise that anyone who wants to stay injury free should steer clear of my vicinity when I DO try them...

Pippin...hee hee. I actually don't mind croquet...I play it a lot in the summer...and we have fun. I'm not very good at it, though...(really, who's "good" at croquet?)...and so I get pretty frustrated.

Susanna...I haven't even heard of jarts. Now I'll have to hit Google up.

Christie MM...=) Thank you!

Matty...hee hee. I like to think that some things never change. My rockingness, for one. My clumsiness for another.
bobpiecheese - March 24, 2009 - Report this comment
(Ages2) I've never played croquet myself...couldn't be buggered to change that. Anyways, great parody Arwen! 555 for you!
Melanie Lee - March 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Excellent! Clever! Hilarious! Hit it through the "hoop" for a score of 5-5-5!
Below Average Dave - March 25, 2009 - Report this comment
(Ages) So I suppose the great AmIRight Corquet party I was going to host for next year probably wouldn't be best for you eh? I like the surprise ending a lot, very well written and fits the theme to TOS very well. . .I'm glad at the end you explain whythis character hates Croquet so much.
Jeff Reuben - March 25, 2009 - Report this comment
(Ages) Good song. My favorite part was picturing you ice skating because...well, I know you and how that would go :) Good job on a song I really don't like (seems we helped each other out in that respect this round)

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