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Song Parodies -> "My Pants Are Too Tight"

Original Song Title:

"Let's Go Fly a Kite"

Original Performer:

Mary Poppins Soundtrack

Parody Song Title:

"My Pants Are Too Tight"

Parody Written by:

Arwen

The Lyrics

That barbecue sauce really stings
I had one too many hot wings
With how many I've downed,
Don't you see my plight?
No need to be polite
I'm sure I look a fright

Oh, oh, oh!
My pants are too tight
I ate too much tonight
It won't be alright
So I'm imploring
Get some Pepto in here
Or poke me with a spear
'Cause my pants are too tight

Not once did I come up for air
Punched my date--he asked if I'd share
Then I ate some fried cheese
Chased it down with Chinese
Drank a gallon of Sprite
Now my pants are too tight

Oh, oh, oh!
Pants have been too tight
Since my one hundreth bite
Put on sweats, I might
For roomie storing
Check the size of my rear
Seams 'bout to split, it's clear
Yes, my pants are too tight!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 33

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 1
 0
 
 3   1
 0
 1
 
 4   3
 3
 3
 
 5   29
 28
 28
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rex - March 28, 2005 - Report this comment
I just read Leo's "Major Model" and now this - what a perfect follow up!
Jeff Reuben - March 28, 2005 - Report this comment
"Punched my date--he asked if I'd share" --nice! Nothing an oversize sweatshirt couldn't fix =)
Leo Jay - March 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Hilarious! And yeah -- how did you and I post parodies about opposite extremes on the eating spectrum on the same day? Get out of my head, bastard! I especially love the 'poke me with a spear' and 'fried cheese chased with Chinese' bits.
Johnny D - March 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Describes how I felt after downing The Fisherman's Platter at MR. PIZZA yesterday...TMI, I know, I know... ;-) 5's
Dumb Ass Kid - March 28, 2005 - Report this comment
[speechless] 555
alvin rhodes - March 28, 2005 - Report this comment
favorite line...poke me with a spear...5s
Arwen - March 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Rex...thanks!! Leo and I tend to compliment each other very nicely on a regular basis. As long as you consider calling each other a bastard to be a compliment...=)

Jeff...hehe! I was really thinking more along the lines of a mumu!

Leo...the thought that I could even get inside your head is mind boggling...I fear that I'd get lost in your superior intelligence...! =)

Johnny...well, at least it's nice to know you can relate!

D.A.K...[speech...um...full]...THANKS!

alvin...you and me both, mister rhodes! Thanks!
John Barry - March 28, 2005 - Report this comment
A fine food parody.
Jeff Reuben - March 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Mumu? Don't have a cow...
Arwen - March 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks John!

Jeff...LOL!
Jeff Reuben - March 28, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm sure some of these have appeared somewhere before but they have to be said. To not say them would be udderly ridiculous. I have to milk it for all it's worth.
Arwen - March 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Groaning now...
Jeff Reuben - March 28, 2005 - Report this comment
I had another point to make, but the moment has passed. So my point is moo.
Arwen - March 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Hee!
Kat - March 28, 2005 - Report this comment
So many comments!(Why can't people just say what they want and be done with it?)
Arwen - March 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Because I am so cool that people want to exploit any chance they have to talk to me? Just a guess. Anyway, I encourage endless chatter on my parodies, Kat. I live for it.
Ashkicksass - March 29, 2005 - Report this comment
I always say, there is nothing in the world like a good pair of sweatpants. Good thing I'm wearing mine while I giggle through this tight ass song!

Yes, yes, I am completely aware that my comment makes no sense whatsoever. I just can't throw down the puns like Jeff and Leo. But as long as there is breath for me to breathe, I will try, dammit. I will try.
Arwen - March 29, 2005 - Report this comment
And as long as there is a breath for ME to breathe...I will enjoy your efforts. Thanks, Ash!
Figgy - March 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Cool parody to soppy song, totally awesome 5-5-5
Kristof Robertson - March 29, 2005 - Report this comment
"Then I ate some fried cheese/ Chased it down with Chinese"....now THAT'S gross! :-) Well done, Miss Elf...555
Adam Eccleshall - March 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Ah, my favourite elf writing about my favourite subject - how much more perfect can you get? 5's :-)
Jeff Reuben - March 29, 2005 - Report this comment
You don't have to throw down puns like us. You can always throw up.
Arwen - March 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Figgy...thanks!!

Kristof...you're only saying that because you've never tried it, silly! ; ) Thanks!!

Adam...Thanks! Now...do you want the truth? I grow a little more perfect every day. =) And so...your favorite subject...tight pants? Chicken wings? Chicken wings in tight pants?

Jeff...LOL!
Adam Eccleshall - March 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Damn! My tightly-clad chicken wing fetish is revealed! Noooooooooo

Custard!
Arwen - March 29, 2005 - Report this comment
I am a bit of an investigator. It's a gift...
Michael Pacholek - March 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Your pants are too tight? Another fruitless attempt to get some Diesel fuel, or to get your love in Bloom? (My Orlando parody should be up tomorrow, and I'm not sure you'll like it.)
Arwen - March 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Mister Pacholek...(this is the part where I'm making my grouchy face and have my hands on my hips)...
Michael Pacholek - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
I thought I was the one who was supposed to have hands on your (REMAINDER OF COMMENT CENSORED DUE TO SEXUAL HARASSMENT OF AN ELF, WHICH IS ILLEGAL IN NEW JERSEY... BUT NOT NECESSARILY IN WYOMING!)
Arwen - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Silly Mr. Pacholek...why would I have my grouchy face on if YOU had your hands on my...(REMAINDER OF COMMENT CENSORED DUE TO SUDDEN LACK OF SUGGESTIVE WIT, WHICH SHOULD BE ILLEGAL IN ALL 50 STATES, NOT TO MENTION RIVENDELL.)

; )
Tristessa Baggins - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
I'll tell you how funny I thought it was as soon as I stop laughing (555)
Arwen - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Oooh...I'm on the edge of my seat, Miss Baggins! Thanks!
Serafina - April 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Arwen, Arwen, Arwen...thanks for sharing yet another great parody with us! I missed it when it was posted because I've been on vacation the last couple weeks (I go back to work tomorrow). I loved this one. In fact, I enjoy reading parodies of Disney songs. :)
Arwen - April 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Serafina...thanks!! I hope you had a FABulous vacation!
Serafina - April 04, 2005 - Report this comment
I did, thank you...it was good to have two weeks off. :)
Guy - April 04, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This parody needs no tightenin' up. Fun Read, Ar.
Arwen - April 04, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Guy!
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - April 09, 2005 - Report this comment
You just keep'em coming in a seamless row, don't ya?
Rex - April 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) BIG laughs!
Agrimorfee - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Silly! :)
Melhi - April 15, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This one had me busting at the seams! :D
Adagio - April 16, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) DKTOS, good one.
Stuart McArthur - April 16, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) - so Arwen! - of course everyone knows you're meant to stop after the 99th bite - duh!
Rick C - April 17, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Swell, Arwen! 5's
Johnny D - April 19, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above.
Scathe - April 22, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Fried cheese followed by Chinese food! For the love of everything decent stay upwind.
Jeff Reuben - April 28, 2005 - Report this comment
I think I used all my horrible cow jokes above
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 29, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Pantastic! Make sure that if your pants do 'break and tear' that you carry 'spare pants' with you. ;)
Claude Prez - April 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Poke poke
Jordan (Mike Armstrong) - May 01, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) God I love Mary Poppins. Something really is wrong with me... great work here.
Spaff.com - May 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Dammit - Claude totally stole my joke. But he said it more politely than I could have.

More kudos on the cheese/Chinese couplet. And some helpful advice: I have never had to deal with tight pants since I adopted my new diet strategy, which is: Stop wearing pants altogether.
Tim Mayfield - May 01, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Imploded 5's here.
Arwen - May 01, 2005 - Report this comment
And then there was this one time when my SOTM voters got way out of hand, and it was too late for me to devote the time to thank them all individually...=(

Thanks to all...=) I'll try to keep up next month...
Agrimorfee - August 31, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05)see above
Adagio - August 31, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) DKTOS...good read!
Rex - September 01, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05-M) See comments above.
Dee Range - September 02, 2005 - Report this comment
(M) DKOS but very funny
Red Ant - September 07, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) Excellent your elfness. If you haven't seen it, check out Rick Cormier's "Stretch Pants", the cure for this. 555.
Stuart McArthur - September 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(M) - yeah, they should provide "poking spears" with every pair of tight pants they sell - it's just irresponsible
Kristof Robertson - September 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) See above, you cuddly elf.
Rick C - September 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) Nice
Adam Eccleshall - September 11, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Still great stuff :-)
Johnny D - September 11, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) See above!
Scathe - September 11, 2005 - Report this comment
(M) Still good.
Phil Alexander - September 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Witty as ever... if slightly too near the mark for me to be happy about it ;-)
2nz - September 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Very funny Arwen. Especially, the 'roomie storing' sub. I've no good reason for not stopping by sooner. Please accept my heart-felt apology and give me some food :cD

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