I don’t tell other men you made my life complete
Didn’t steal the cushion from your mom’s toilet seat
It would make me look like a fool
If I staked out your gym
Said "I love you" but I meant
"I’m not calling you again"

I don’t want you, ‘f’you don’t want me
I’ll tell everyone
I don’t want you, ‘f’you don’t want me
No one, NO ONE, no one ever is that lame

Didn’t buy a mansion that we could both live in
Didn’t get a tattoo of your face here on my skin
Not hoping you’ll
Propose, with fingers crossed
My stationary is not with your last name embossed

I don’t want you, ‘f’you don’t want me
Just ask anyone!
I don’t want you, ‘f’you don’t want me
No one, NO ONE, no one ever is that lame

You throw out your gum and I do not keep it
And I certainly don’t nuzzle Kleenex I’ve soaked in your spit
Yeah, I’m pretty sure
I won’t stalk you again
That’s not me out on your porch crying “Please just let me in!”

I don’t want you, ‘f’you don’t want me
Haven’t come undone!
I don’t want you, so don’t taunt me
No one, NO ONE, no one ever is that lame
No one ever is that lame!
No one ever…
Is that lame