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Song Parodies -> "I Don't Like Being Stalked By You"

Original Song Title:

"I Only Want To Be With You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Dusty Springfield

Parody Song Title:

"I Don't Like Being Stalked By You"

Parody Written by:

Arwen

The Lyrics

It's the price you pay when you're astoundingly beautiful...but you don't have to like it...
It doesn't matter where I go or what I do
Each time I turn the corner I run into you
Makes me uneasy--don't like your style
You ought to be committed for a little while

Your comments are taboo
I don't like being stalked by you

I don't know why you don't get it when I say "no"
Don't like your songs about you sucking on my toe
I hate your advances, can't you see?
I need the law to help keep you away from me

My face is your tattoo
I don't like being stalked by you

Each time you smile at me--never give you half a glance
Don't you think you'll set off alarms by chasing me with no pants?

Now listen buddy!
I just gotta say that I'm sick of your stare
You make me feel as if I'm not safe anywhere
I look out and see you perched in my tree
You're up there with my ex-boyfriend's Plasma TV

I know you stole my shoes
I don't like being stalked by you

Please stop annoying me--like a boil I want to lance
No, I'm not falling for your charms--I don't want a free lap dance

I'm beggin' buddy!
I don't want to have to get a bodyguard
Don't want to hear that knowing me has made things hard
Now each time I see you, I want to flee
I shouldn't have to hide under my desk, you see

You make me want to spew
I don't like being stalked by you

I'm now learning Kung Fu
I don't like being stalked by you
Special thanks to Spaff...who refuses to stalk me no matter how much I beg...but who provided a bit of inspiration here anyway...

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 28

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 3
 2
 
 5   28
 25
 26
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Johnny D - October 06, 2004 - Report this comment
WOW! Perfect pacing! I can hear Dusty singing this parody's lyrics in my head as clear as can be! "You're up there with my ex-boyfriend's Plasma TV"......ah, life imitating art imitating a parody of life imitating a parody of art....ahhhhh.....very satisfying parody, Arwen. 555!
Arwen - October 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Well thanks, Johnny! =)
Ashkicksass - October 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Who in the sam hill gave you 4's for funny? This is HILARIOUS!! Especially
"I look out and see you perched in my tree
You're up there with my ex-boyfriend's Plasma TV"

and
"Don't want to hear that knowing me has made things hard"

LMAO!!!
Arwen - October 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, Ash...since Agrimorfee blew the lid off of our secret online affair, I don't think anyone will consider your comments to be valid...but I appreciate them! Thanks!
Ashkicksass - October 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Guess I'll have to re-think the parody I did about your toe...
Arwen - October 06, 2004 - Report this comment
SSMAO!
Adam Eccleshall - October 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Hmmm... perhaps I should cancel my order for those night vision goggles, then....

That was great :-)
Arwen - October 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh Adam...I totally like being stalked by YOU! This was dedicated...and I suppose I should have said this...to the creepy computer guy here at work. Thanks, buddy!
joe - October 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Loved it!
Serafina - October 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job, arwen! I always enjoy reading your parodies; this one was very entertaining. 5-5-5. ;)
John Barry - October 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Loved the juxtaposition of the mundane "I don't like" with the creepy subject matter.
Arwen - October 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks a bunch, joe!

Thanks, Serafina! I always enjoy reading your comments!
alvin rhodes - October 06, 2004 - Report this comment
OK OK..i'll stop...don't write songs about me anymore.....hee hee hee......5s
Arwen - October 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh alvin...don't be silly...just as I had to set Adam straight...I TOTALLY welcome YOUR stalking. It's the "company's computer guy" who gives me the willies. Or at least he'd like to...if you know what I mean...; ) Thanks!
Paul Robinson - October 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Arwen - Great job - perhaps you should follow my character's solution in this parody: http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/jonimitchell4.shtml
Arwen - October 06, 2004 - Report this comment
John Barry: I must have been posting at the same time as you because I totally missed your comment! Thanks so much!!!

And thanks, Paul! I'll check it out!
Michael Pacholek - October 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Don't look at me, I can't see Wyoming with my telescope. (Now why would Mike need a telescope?)
Arwen - October 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Peeping Tom?? ; )

Thanks, Michael!
Billy Florio - October 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Amazing job, Arwen!
Stuart McArthur - October 06, 2004 - Report this comment
that's very witty Arwen - so where will you be tomorrow??
Arwen - October 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh Billy...now I'm blushing! Thank you!

Thanks, Stuart...um...most likely...I'll be here. On this site...and that's it. ; )
Kristof Robertson - October 07, 2004 - Report this comment
This just rocks...pure and simple! Up there with your best, my little Wyoming Wunderkind....555
Arwen - October 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh...how nice is it to have you back, sweetie?? Thanks so much!
Spaff.com - October 10, 2004 - Report this comment
I would compliment you on this but it hurts. I promise that all I'm doing in the tree is trying to get that plasma TV. (No luck yet - what'd you do, glue it?) As for chasing you with no pants, well, I have to - I'm allergic to cotton.
Arwen - October 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Basically...I hate to beat a dead horse...and I'm not sure if you're mocking me...but the glue DOESN'T work!

However...if you've got thirty-eight feet of twine, a roll and a half of electrical tape, a soldering iron, and a WHOLE lotta patience...you're in business.

Um...at least that's what I read in...um...Popular Science...
Leo Jay - December 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Outstanding! I must echo the Ashkicker's kudos for "don't want to hear that knowing me has made things hard". The 'ex's TV' line was brilliant also. And I love the series of rotating lines that precede "I don't like being stalked by you".
Arwen - January 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Mr. Leo Jay. I don't know how I went a month without thanking you for that comment! You ROCK!! Thank you thank you thank you!
Spaff.com - November 09, 2005 - Report this comment
It's been over a year since my last comment, so that means the restraining order has expired and my comments are no longer taboo. HA!

What Leo said. Great stuff.
fchu - March 12, 2013 - Report this comment
yea yea I HAC U COFF. I get that you stupid b****. Tell your f***in b**** finacier funtime is over, death awaits.

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