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Song Parodies -> "I Need To Find a Man"

Original Song Title:

"The Leader of the Band"

Original Performer:

Dan Fogelberg

Parody Song Title:

"I Need To Find a Man"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

The youngest child - I'm kind of wild
I like to have my fun
I've gone on dates with lots of boys
But my heart belongs to none
I want a man whose daily plan
Is just to make me smile
And he'll gain a lot of bonus points
If he's not an androphile

One guy, he took me fishing
But he fell into the lake
I tried to date an actor once
Only lasted half a take
Dumped one for lack of discipline
Refused to wash his hands
I gotta say it's a turn off
When they rob newspaper stands

I need to find a man, I'm tired
I've been looking for too long
Doesn't have to be a Superstar
But I don't want Mister Wrong
I can't find any here in town
Who don't have a wedding band
It's just a bloody tragedy
That I cannot find a man

I tried to date a baller
It turned out he was too tall
A chemist from Chicago
Brought no chemistry at all
And "Amazing Karlando"
Well, he failed to cast a spell
That model's date came to a close
He stole all my hair gel

I met a race car driver
Killed the mood when he got towed
I even tried a plumber
But his backside always showed
There was a massage therapist
I'll just say he lost his touch
At the point where I think breathing
Is asking just too much

I need to find a man, I'm tired
I've been looking for too long
I'm not dying for a Superstar
But he can't be Mister Wrong
There aren't any here in town
Can't afford to try Milan
It's just a bloody tragedy
That I cannot find a man

It's such a bloody tragedy
That I cannot find a man

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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Ashkicksass - July 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Dating sucks! But this parody is a superstar!
Arwen - July 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Princess...=)
Kristof Robertson - July 21, 2004 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but DRC (don't really care)...this is great...I'll assume your pacing is spot on (it always is)..and it's very sad/!! p.s. check your email :-)
Arwen - July 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Awww...=) Thanks a bunch, Sweetheart!! And I'll check it right now...
Johnny D - July 21, 2004 - Report this comment
DKTOS, gotta sample?
Royce Miller - July 21, 2004 - Report this comment
I know this original, and your parody is funny.
Arwen - July 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny...there is a clip at this page:
Arwen - July 21, 2004 - Report this comment
And THANKS, Royce...=) I really thought everyone knew this song...but...I guess not everyone has been overexposed to "KOSI After Dark with Mary Marlow" like I have...; ) THANKS THANKS THANKS!!
Arwen - July 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Just realized that Mary Marlow is on FM100...I used to call FM100 AND KOSI both KOSI...not sure way. Anyway...for all you Utahans out know what I'm talking's THAT kind of music...
Meriadoc - July 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Date a 'baller'...? Hmmmm - language must have changed since I was a teen! ;-D
Leola Jayne Schwartz - July 21, 2004 - Report this comment
This is lovely! (How come you guys don't know this song? Born after 1980?)

I don't usually set people up, but my cousin is sweet, handsome, funny and an attorney -- here's his number: 555-LOVE
Arwen - July 21, 2004 - Report this comment's really not a word I use too often...I'm not generally much for a lot of slang like fit into the's the way it goes.'re seriously too creative, LJ...half the fun is figuring out what your newest identity will be...=) I'm with you, though...I'll say it again...I thought EVERYONE knew this song...
Cookie-man - July 21, 2004 - Report this comment
I know (and LOVE) the original song, but somehow you managed to make it even more sad and melencholy (sp?) than the original! Great job! 555
Arwen - July 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Cookie-man...thanks for stopping by, and thanks for the vote, for sure! You and Kristof both mentioned that the parody was sad...which was not my intention. I was really going for more funny/clever with my "reasons why it didn't work out" correlating with the nature of the long as you like it...I'll settle for that...=) Thanks... - July 31, 2004 - Report this comment
FM-100. Lite Rock. Dan Fogelberg. I feel your pain, Sister.
"No chemistry" and "lost his touch" cracked me up. And thanks for making me look up "androphile."
Arwen - August 01, 2004 - Report this comment
SPAFF!!! I'm so glad that someone else...years later...(or maybe a week)...admitted that they knew this song. I should have known you would come through. I was actually surprised that nobody else commented on "androphile." I mean really...people don't know this timeless classic, (hehe) but they know what an androphile is? Hmmm...or maybe you're the only one who cared. Either way...thanks for doing your homework...and for further validating my song choice...=)
B Alcorn - February 07, 2006 - Report this comment
Flawless parody of the first water!
Arwen - April 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Wow, B Alcorn...thanks!
A reader - April 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Great job - you've got some songs that really seem to come from the heart :-) Ever tried a handicapped person? You'd have to drive a blind person around and they couldn't say you look nice or anything, but there's still good ones. Same with other handicaps.
LilCupCakes - April 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Yeah, me too: . . . ~Oldest Child~ who can't make a decision, on 'Man precision' she greatly lacks in dicipline! A total of (4) where: (1) is no more to score (2) counselor told to please send 2nd ring back, to prevent a future attack (3)-that Cowboy is too wabo, to even stay in saddo (4)-He's just too reclu-sive; version of his Bros in (1) & (3) Oh, . . . woe is me, to be so branded by the spell of ~C~

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