This was great, Arwen! 5's ~ ~ ~ Say...you seem to have had a lot of strange creatures greet you when you wake up...No...I'm not implying THAT...I mean bugs...spiders and such...I recall another parody where you had to smoosh something or other before he took up residence in your ear or some other part of your person...and now a giant snake...hmmm...ever have any weird dreams?

I do have a long history of critter related injuries...you're right, Paul. I "Smooshed a Big Spider" once, while innocently trying to turn my alarm clock off. And, as you mentioned, I found out, when exposing my ear to the open summer air, that "That's Where a Cricket Will Hide." I have yet to write about the time where I woke up one morning to 168 mosquito bites. Yes, I counted them.

Thanks for bringing back some great memories, Mr. Robinson...=)

And as far as dreams go...I don't think I'd be qualified to write about the weirdness of the dreams I have...they are far too strange. I might have to leave it to one of our surreal writers...=)

poor thing...all the men wasn't bad enough...now you're being stalked by REPTILES....5s for this lovely ditty

Loved what you did with the verses! Only kidding, this was fun...did you pick up the Anaconda when you were working to pay back the zoo? 555

Arwen...well - better your ear than you rear...

This works metaphorically too (or did you intend that)?

Very good parody, but it has to be fiction. If Guy were your tour guide, he'd take good care of you, and I don't think you own a shirt from K-Mart.

I think that what Arwen's trying to say is that I'm a cold-hearted... ssssssssnake!

good fit to the original...clever idea....squeezes some fives for ya'

I can't remember the beginning of the song for the life of me, but 'Anaconda' fits in real nice and wouldn't ya know it, that's most of the song right there. Clever stuff, Arwen. 5s and thanks for stayin' sexy all these years.

Alvin...hehe. You're right...everyone think's it's all dinner parties and diamond rings when you are the Divine Goddess of the Brave New World...but yes...sometimes, there are giant, Goddess eating snakes at those dinner parties. Nobody should have to deal with that...; ) Thanks...

Kristof...=) Thanks, but I don't know where he came from, he was there when I woke up. And, YES...I'm talking about the snake...

Paul...no arguments here...=)

Rex...hmmm...I am tempted to say that yes, I did mean it metaphorically...as I am always looking for new ways to describe the unworthy men that tend to court me...; ) However...I have to admit that I was NOT being that clever...=) Thanks, anyway...

John...I was waiting for someone to bring up the Guy being my tour guide bit...nice job. And congratulations on your astute observation about my fashion sense. Of course if I am ever REALLY attacked by 20 foot, life crushing reptile, I'm certainly going to be wearing Prada...=)

Michael...I think I've been a bad influence on you. It used to be ME that was finding personal meaning to every parody that I read on the site, and you were quick to keep my overblown ego in check. Now, it seems, we are evolving into a Super Egomaniacal Duo...which I can live with. But you still haven't admitted that I was right about the Ramones...=)

AFW...thanks a bunch!

2nz...you know, I was kind of annoyed when I actually laid the song down in Notebook, and realized how little I would actually have to work with. I tried to think of clever ways to change the chorus (other than the last lines, which I did) but failed and finally gave up. So...thanks. And as for maintaining my sexiness...well...you know I only live to please, mister...=) Now, go get yourself a Beach Boys CD so you can appreciate this for the brilliance that it truly is...; )

Convenient taht the tour guy's name was "Guy" - or is this fictional? - another bizarrely amusing Arwenian gem - 555

"My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun! Whoop-BSSH!" Oh, sorry, wrong song.

Stuart...as John Jenkins pointed out, it's clearly fictional...like I'd ever shop at Kmart...; )

Jeff...LOL!

First off, the phrase "An Anaconda" made me do the LS. And the shirt from KMart? Flippin SWEET! That made me full on LOL! Soooooooooooo FANTASTIC, my darling! You should seriously write more of these parody things. I think you're really getting good at it. And I'd like to second that LOL to Mr. Reuben.

I love Love LOVE that you're here, Ash!! This is seriously making my WHOLE day!!

Great job, Arwen, super pacing and rhyme. A friend of mine is an amateur herpetologist, and keeps a collection of live snakes and lizards in his home, along with some scorpions and tarantulas (this dude is a scientist who's probably about to be made an associate professor). He's let me hold one of his biggest snakes in my hands --- some kind of boa or python --- must've been 3 or 4 feet long. Felt like I was holding a big, warm, heavy, scaly muscle...weird, very weird. Fortunately, that snake was very docile and accustomed to being handled by humans!

Thanks, Johnny. To be honest, snakes don't really bother me. I mean...I've clearly not been nearly crushed to death by one...which might change my mind a bit...but spiders and insects freak me out WAY more than snakes do.

Fantastic! Don't know how I missed this before. This was really inspired by that stupid Ice Cube film, wasn't it?

Leo...don't be ridiculous...it was inspired by "Anacondas: The Search for the Blood Orchid." (or something like that), the sequel to that stupid Ice Cube film.

Thanks!!

[Commercial ON] Are you short and wide but want to be tall and thin? Come down to Anaconda labs, where we have an all-natural method of reshaping your body! (Side effects may include turning blue, eyeballs popping out, and death) [Commercial OFF] Funny story again the second time around.

Snakes alive! This was a great parody!!!

(Artistry) The choruses were a bit repetitive, but this was still enjoyable. 555!

They can be a real squeeze. Also it led to that crappy film where Voight breaks Wuher's neck.

(Artistry) Snake in a Bed... the prequel to Snakes on a Plane. LOL! Unique topic, and a lot of fun.

This song snaked its way into my heart years ago. Cool to see all these TOTTM people in the comments.

8 years later, I'd like to think my skills have improved since this one...but thanks to all for your kind words for this oldie!

Rex...LOL! I think you've got a killer idea there!

Matty... :) Thanks, Buddy!

BPC...Truth! Not sure what I'd do differently now...or that I could do something differently...with this particular OS...but these days I really do like to vary choruses...so I totally agree!

Max...I feel like I should know the crappy film of which you speak. Gonna have to google after this...

Blaydeman...Hahaha...hadn't thought of that! Nice...and thanks!

Jefferoo...I think reading old comments is one of my favorite things of all time. We had so much fun back in the day! Getting a little misty over here.... ;)

Time has not been kind to this one, I think. Definitely the repetitive chorus was the factor here. But there's only so much one can do with that sound-pattern,