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Song Parodies -> "Brad Dumped His Wife; Got Me Instead"

Original Song Title:

"Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head"

Original Performer:

BJ Thomas

Parody Song Title:

"Brad Dumped His Wife; Got Me Instead"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

As sung by the lovely Ms. Angelina Jolie
Brad dumped his wife; got me instead
At first the whole world went on a rampage, tears were shed
People threw a fit
Those names folks were callin’ “You’re a whore!” they kept callin’

But then I did me some talkin' with P.R.
And they said a little softer i-mage could go far
“Go buy another kid
‘Cause just one you’re haulin’ on your hip, one you’re haulin’”

Then the next thing…I knew
Each time we got to playin’, seeds were layin’
The count went up and 3, 4, 5, 6 worked their way in

Brad left his wife; got me instead
Along with nine kids since I got 3 last week from Bled*
Two more on the way
This cycle is never gonna end; birth impendin’
Now gut’s too soft
I can’t play Laura Croft


It won't be long ‘til Swedish twins need me to save ‘em

Brad lost a wife; got me instead
But our baker’s dozen’s never gonna see us wed
Marriage ain’t for me
I can’t wear the dress, the zippers strain, weight I’m gainin’
And that’s my fate
Since I stole Jen’s soul mate
*...a municipality in northwestern Slovenia. Duh.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 19

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   18

User Comments

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Invisible Boy - January 20, 2009 - Report this comment
All around excellent write, Arwen. How long did it take you to find a geographical region that rhymed with "instead"?
alvin - January 20, 2009 - Report this comment
i howled nonstop through this....great job
lilCupCakes - January 20, 2009 - Report this comment
Lady ARwen, this is verrry good! I love the ~OS~ and your subject, ~AJ~ is perfect: yes, Breeding Camps are never fun!
Matthias - January 20, 2009 - Report this comment
Good parody, and c'mon who doesn't know what "Bled" is... Seriously! This was a tough round, but you pulled through it with shining colors. Congrats.
McKludge - January 20, 2009 - Report this comment
I loved the soft/Croft couplet.
John Jenkins - January 20, 2009 - Report this comment
Excellent work, Arwen. I agree with McKludge on the soft/Croft couplet, and the Swedish twins was clever as well.
Stuart McArthur - January 21, 2009 - Report this comment
despite my suspicion that this outs you as a member of Team Aniston, and therefore a natural enemy, I loved it Arwen - and all my relatives come from Bled, so what's the big deal? 555
Christie Marie M - January 21, 2009 - Report this comment
Hilarious! I got to admit that in spite of what Brad did to Jen Aniston, I kinda like seeing him with Angelina. I remembered a while back when Billy Bob dated Angie, they were not a good match because Billy Bob was old. Now I think Brad and Angie look great together.
Claude Prez - January 21, 2009 - Report this comment
I never liked Jennifer Aniston anyway, she doesn't have enough flair. Unlike this parody, which has, like, fifty pieces. Well done.
2Eagle - January 21, 2009 - Report this comment
BWAHAHAHAHA! This is so funny that I can forgive you for stealing my thunder. I don't understand why Brad and Jen got married in the first place if Brad wanted someone with more star power. Jen is better off without him.
Arwen - January 21, 2009 - Report this comment
Invisible...well, Bled has always been on my list of places to visit, AND to mention in really, this whole thing was built around that reference. ; ) Thanks!

Alvin...howling is always good...thanks!!

LilCupCakes...glad you liked it! Thanks!, you run a hard comp, buddy. I had about 8 ideas half concocted before this fell together. Thank goodness for always inspires me unlike anything else!

McKludge...good! Thanks very much!

John...I really wanted to work it in that BRAD would be the one dying to "save" the Swedish twins...but didn't fall together that way. Thanks! reality, I've always been an AJ fan. I've never been a fan of lying to cover up what is totally obvious, and was annoyed when BP and AJ denied their relationship at first...but overall, I think she's a classy broad. =) A classy broad with a crapload of kids.

Christie...I don't mind them being together, either. Honestly, I am SO of the "live and let live" mindset, that I don't care who is with who. Thanks!

Claude...LOL! Thanks!

2Eagle...thought I am, admittedly, something of a thunder stealer by nature, I'm not sure which thunder of yours that I've stolen. =) Thanks so much, though...glad you liked it!
2Eagle - January 21, 2009 - Report this comment
See my last parody as of December 26, 2008. By "thunder" you could put that two ways.
Tim Mayfield - January 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Nevermind Bled, where's Slovenia???
Adam Eccleshall - January 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Great stuff, Arwen... plus, Brad going off with Angelina leaves Jen for me :D
Matthias - January 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Always loved this OS (Reminds me of that Leslie Neilson movie, "The Naked Gun"). Anyways, I don't really think I can add more than what I already said, so I'll just say one more thing. Good job.
Agrimorfee - January 28, 2009 - Report this comment
(Ages2)The Bradiferlina story continues. Nice job.
2Eagle - January 28, 2009 - Report this comment
Bradiferlina - i will have to remember that. It looks like a triangle out of As the World Turns. Ha! The security code says Eva - as in Braun.
tomario - February 03, 2009 - Report this comment
"Now gut’s too soft I can’t play Laura Croft" lmao! you are a one Arwen
bobpiecheese - February 07, 2009 - Report this comment
(Ages2) I've never followed celebrity relationships, or celebrity lives in general, so a few of the references in here kinda flew over my head. Still, you got the pacing down pat (big surprise) so yeah.
Melanie Lee - February 10, 2009 - Report this comment
(Ages) Hilarious--I laughed throughout! Extremely clever, and right up my alley, theme-wise. 5-5-5, because I can't give you 5-6-5 or 5-6-6--though I suspect you'd want to give Ms. Jolie 6-6-6!
Invisible Boy - February 11, 2009 - Report this comment
(Ages) see above
I liked this even better on the second read
"layin'/way in" hehe
Below Average Dave - February 11, 2009 - Report this comment
(Ages) This was very funny, I never did understand the whole story originally but I've been able to piece it together through AmIRight's veterans with great laughs throughout.
Jeff Reuben - February 11, 2009 - Report this comment
(Ages) Funny stuff! Brad should only be so lucky :)
Arwen - March 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks so much to all! I'm trying not to be so lame in my thanksgiving. I mean, my thanks giving. My Thanksgivings are not lame at all.

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