You are on fire, babe! This is truly excellent :-) 555

LMAO! You are amazing. That's all I have to say...

KRISTOF...thanks so much! You're totally making me blush! Seriously!! Now my cheeks can match the cranberry juice that I poured down my shirt this morning on the way to work!! And sweet little ASHKICKSASS...thanks for your patronage...I'm so glad you liked it! For those of you reading this on the message board, I'd like to direct your attention to Miss Kicksass' very first Amiright parody on the new entries for 6/2/04...(and it's Harry Potter themed to boot!) It is AWESOME!!! =) Thanks again, both of you!!!

Perfect pacing and hilarious humor, My Elven Princess! 5's, of course!

When Monica called up her now ex-best-friend Linda Tripp
And told her buddy of Bill Clinton's fateful drip
"Save that blue dress!" cried out Linda Tripp
She recorded it
What a twit

Excellent addition, Johnny! I appreciate the vote as well!! Thanks so much!!

Messy and enjoyable, just the way I like it. Great pacing too. 5's

Thanks, 2nzy....=)

Arwen - You may move clumsily but you sure don't write that way. Wonderful, 5-5-5

Thanks, Paul! =) I really appreciate it!!

I love it. Great job.

a wonderful job of pacing and a bizarre concept...sounds like 5s to me

ROTFLMAO! This just keeps going and is consistently hilarious. A magnificent parody!

Thanks David, alvin, and MasonR!! I am so glad you all liked it! It's so autobiographical that it could be a little embarrassing...but...at the very least we can all laugh about it, huh? Thanks again!!

It must've been tough growing up on the East Side of Minas Tirith, with no money for new clothes. Damn Hobbit bankers, secretly controlling the shire... Could be worse, you could've had the One Ring Around the Collar!

Whoa...I can't believe MP just referenced a place...no TWO places in Middle Earth and didn't even flinch...I think I am about to pass out. But I'll hang on long enough to say this...I spend more money on new clothes than anyone in Middle or probably ANY Earth...simply because I ruin the ones I have so quickly...=)

I'm right there with ya sister! I can't even count how many articles of clothing I have gone through becasue of my exquisite staining abilities! Excellently done! 555! :)

Right on, Cookie-man...thanks!

This was great! I loved the "I cry when Orcs attack" line! :-D

Merry...of course that's one of my favorite lines, as well. (even in a non LOTR themed piece...I do my best to work it in...hehehe) Thanks!!

Super, Arwen... can't think what I must have been doing in June to have missed it :-)

Restoring my vote by spraying this parody once again with Formula 555.

this is excellent

It's about time, Phil. I won't lie...I spent all of June wondering where the hell you were! In July I just accepted that you weren't coming...and cried myself to sleep every night. August rolled around and I got a little mad...Yeah...that TP incident outside your flat...yeah...it wasn't a random act of hooliganism...; ) Thanks!!

Always nice to have you back for more, Mister D...thanks!!

Silver Power--thanks! I'm starting to think that you're the only judge on the old Beatles parody contest...I have $1.38 in loose change in my purse that's looking for a home. That's all I'm gonna say...; )

I stained my pants trying to drink coffee while laughing at this.

Nice, Rick...I'd offer to have them cleaned for you...but I fruitlessly gave my last $1.38 to Silver Power last month. Hind sight...hmph!

Thanks, thanks, thanks!

I got directed to this, reading Rick D's comment today. That's fantastic Arwen - perfect pacing - "Is it gravy from my po-tat-o?" - very funny - and, lol, I just noticed all the google pop-ups, top right - they're all for stain removal products...those google guys!!!

Thanks so much, Stuart!! =)

(ABC) Awesome parody, 555

Thanks a bunch, Phil!

(ABC) Good stuff, Maynard-ette.

Thank you, Agrimorfee!

(ABC) Very catchy. I'll give you 5s.

Thanks, John! I really appreciate it!

(ABC) I can totally relate, I mean, my lingerie is just *covered* in stains.
...
...
...ahem, did I mention how damn funny this parody is?! Su-stain this brilliance!

Luke, are you TRYING to be my new favorite comment giver on the site. Because you're doing it. Like it or not...=) Thanks!

(ABC "T") - Ahhh, Arwen...you glide through the waste with such grace here...sloppy 5's dribble down my chin to baste this work of art.....

Thanks a bunch, Paul!

(ABC) Followed original well - fun read.

I'm surprised I didn't comment already, because I know I've read this, and loved it! Made me laugh hard at work!

Thanks a lot, Guy & Jeff!!

(ABC) Great work, fives...BTW, Iknow a GREAT dry-cleaner's a few outside Rivendell....guy wiorking the counter seems a little weird tho....pluralizes words when there not supposed to be, kinda short, doesn't wear much....but does WONDERS with stains! :)

Thanks, Jared...and LOL!

Well done Arwen! I am sorry I missed this one first time round!

No apology needed, Pip! Thanks a bunch!!

(ABC) See above!

(ABC) Laughed hilariously! I had forgotten I read this before until I got to the 'cry when Orcs attack' line! ;-D Restoring your 5s.

Thanks a ton, Johnny & Merry!!

They say (or maybe it's just me) that you only had good Italian food if you're wearing some of it afterwards. I can never get the sauce out, and Longbottom Leaf is pretty pesky too. ''CHEER''s mu-lady.

http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=3010.0;id=2065;image

Ooooh woman -- I loves it when you talks dirty...

Sorry to be soooo damn late to the party. Excellent!

Late shmate, baby! I just love it when you stop by the site...=) Thanks!!

been away a bit, but I just want to add my congratulations Arwen - runaway winner no less - I commented before, but it's even better on a second reading :-)

Oh Stuart...I'm blushing! Thanks!!!

No you're not, that's some chilli powder smudged over your nose. *tosses over a napkin*

...may I rephrase 'tosses over a napkin'?...

Great Job!, 5-5-5, great pacing!

Thanks, Daniel G!

I'm about 5 months late, but congratulations for the victory in the ABC contest. Another parody with excellent substitutions for the OS and great food humor, especially the birthday flame.

John, thanks a ton! This is honestly one of my very favorite parodies of mine...my pride and joy, if you will...=) I am always tickled when other folks like it, too...=)

When orcs attack me, I get a different kind of stain entirely.

OK, I totally dig this parody and I swear I commented on it before. Maybe it got deleted because I can't help but being inappropriate when I think of Arwen. Who knows. Anyhoo. Anecdote:

I was boarding a plane to SLC the other day and these two 20-something women behind me were trying to kill their boredom by spinning. Yes, spinning. Twirling. One of them decided to do a really fast spin and "stick the landing." Which she did. But she forgot that there's this thing called inertia, which says that if you've got a heavy bag over your shoulder, it will keep spinning even after you stop. Which it did. It yanked her off her feet and into the wall. Loudly. And then she went sprawling onto the floor. Loudly. Everyone - EVERYONE - gasped and crowded around to see what had happened. And then laughed at her. As for me - I kid you not here - I thought that this MUST be a certain someone I know. I very nearly asked her "Are you Arwen?"

Mister Spaff...so glad to see you stop by...=)

Sadly, said floor flopper was not me...but let me assure you that, years ago, in my inexperience and relative youth...it might have been. Long story short...I've lived and I've learned. I NEVER twirl while holding a large bag. Are you kidding? I do twirl while wearing high heels though...not something I'd suggest.

And when I fall flat on my face...or my ass...or both...in the middle of a crowded airport terminal...I don't need no hoity toity scientific mumbo jumbo like inertia to help me out.

I am as cute as hell so people love me regardless...but the bottom line is this: I am a clumsy bastard...and I fall down for no reason whatsoever...

And I loved your story...=)

( ABC 2004 Winners) Good one.

This is adorable! I can't believe I missed this - WORTHY!

(SOTM) *singing*Them stains, them stains, them grease stains. Them stains, them stains, them food stains. Them stains, them stains, them juice stains. They just won't go away. :D

Allow me to be the first person to comment on this parody in nine months... I think this parody is quite clever. So I'm gonna award it with a perfect 5,5,5 vote!!

Btw, I am not going to be on the computer at all tomorrow, so I thought this might be a perfect opportunity to wish you a happy (early) birthday. :-D

Well, if that isn't just as fabulous of a message as a girl could hope to get, I don't know what is! Thanks VERY much, Blue Ant...=) I really really appreciate it.

Happy birthday, Arwen!!!! (I didn't want to forget it this year, so I thought I'd wish you a HB in a comment on one of your parodies that I hadn't looked at yet.) I hope your day is wonderful. :)

btw, I think this is a clever parody, too; I also vote 5-5-5 on it. =)

I like this parody too.

thanks you guys!

either the impostor struck again, or Arwen herself made a typo. :-\\

Um...maybe I haven't been around much lately...and maybe I'm lame and didn't jump on getting my thank yous thrown down as quickly as I should have...but COME. ON.

Whoever is submitting comments in (an altered version of) my name...PLEASE stop. I'm actually confused as to what purpose it serves.

If you're someone that I neglected to thank...do you feel more appreciated now that you've thanked yourself on my behalf? If so, next time maybe you could just call yourself up, or send yourself some flowers...both of which would be even more gratifying than some empty words on the comments page, don't you think?

Or....If you're someone who thinks I should have said thanks by now, are you simply trying to protect my already stellar reputation and make me look good? If that's the case...you would probably do better in improving my image if you made sure to portray me as someone who knows how to spell my own name. Also...I gotta tell you...I am FABulous. I know this. And the people that matter know it, too. Mr. Pacholek will always love me NO. MATTER. WHAT. And anyone who's going to think less of me because I unintentionally missed out on some thank yous...is unimportant. Seriously.

I honestly do love to get feedback, especially positive feedback...(I'm not going to lie)...and I ALWAYS appreciate birthday wishes...=) But I don't appreciate anyone posting under my name. It's not cool. It's annoying. And more than a little weird.

Anyway...I'm sorry that I've let my manners slip...and I'm sorry that I haven't been around much...(New FABulousness by Arwen is in the works, I swear)...don't dismay, though...I haven't forgotten you. =)

Except for Arewn. I'm trying to forget her. Or him. Or...um...whatever.

I feel bad that some dumb lurker posted a comment with your name written incorrectly; I am pretty sure that you'd never misspell your own name. Maybe he/she/it/banjo/fannypack was pointing out that there were a few other commentators ahead of me that were "ignored" (Adagio, Emiloca, and Scathe) and he/she/it/banjo/fannypack was trying to get attention. I wonder if that person is related to the so-called "parody police" or something.

Enough of that. Let's change the subject... I happened to read on the messageboard in your birthday thread that you're thirty now?? Well, how does it feel to be three decades old? ;-D Here's to three more >holds glass up high< (Now I mean that in a good way; please don't get the wrong idea.)

Hey Blue Ant...enough of the "you're thirty now" talk. I mean, seriously...are you trying to get another mindless rant out of me? ; )

I'll be there within the next ten years myself.

If it were not for the imposter, I might not have noticed the thread about it in the recent comments, and so might not have seen this highly imaginative, pants-stainingly funny song. Been there, done, that, and belated happy birthday. Five Stains!

Tommy...you know, I LOVE that you stained your pants over my work. It's a goal of mine, really...=) Thanks very much!

(Ages) This satire stains with laughter. I can relate to that! I always have bad luck when I wear white because I get chocolate stains, blood stains, grass stains, paint stains, etc. Well, white clothing is considered bad luck outfit, I guess. Well, now this is soiled with 5 grass stains, 5 pit stains, and 5 paint stains!

Delightfully funny.

(Ages) Wait, this was from 2004? Clearly your parody writing skills were just as awesome then as they are now, I never would've guessed! Fantastic parody, 555!

Holy cow! This is really really good! The only thing I would have like to see different is the "ketchup on fries/cherry pie" verse be changes each time...excellent job though!

(AofA) When I was younger, I had stains on all my clothes. I was such a sloppy kid, LOL! So I tottlly got this. So funny!

It is just a fact of life whenever you eat something with ketchup it's going to wind up on your shirt. Totally embarrassing especially if you're out on a date.

Ha ha ha, I love this, and I love you!