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Song Parodies -> "Q's Qvetch"
Original Song Title:
"My Bonny Lies Over The Ocean"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"Q's Qvetch"
Parody Written by:
The Comedian
The Lyrics
My Bond, he lies without emotion
My Bond, he lies so gleefully
My Bond, he lies without emotion
And swears he'll bring back stuff to me
Bring back, bring back,
Oh bring back my gadgets to me, to me
Bring back, bring back,
Oh bring back my gadgets to me
When-ever Bond goes on a mission
To stop Blofeld starting a war
My gadgetry stops his emission
From knocking-up Pussy Galore
Bring back, bring back,
Oh bring back my gadgets to me, to me
Bring back, bring back,
Oh bring back my gadgets to me
If Goldfinger's laser-bright-light-beam
Should ever hit Bond in the nad
My super high-tech tighty-white-seam
Will block it and Bond'll be glad
Bring back, bring back,
Oh bring back my gadgets to me, to me
Bring back, bring back,
Oh bring back my gadgets to me
I always beseech and implore Bond
To carefully bring back my gear
I wish I had Harry Pot-ter's wand
To make all my sh*t reappear
Bring back, bring back,
Oh bring back my gadgets to me, to me
Bring back, bring back,
Oh bring back my gadgets to me
They all call me Q The Professor
And soon I'll be followed by R
I hope that my worthy successor
Will never trust Bond with a car
Bring back, bring back,
Oh bring back my gadgets to me, to me
Bring back, bring back,
Oh bring back my gadgets to me
If 007 was footing
The bill he would care what he breaks
I'll get the last laugh 'cause I'm putting
Saltpeter in all of his steaks
Bring back, bring back,
You bring back no gadgets to me, to me!
"Thing's slack, thing's slack, your thing's slack," said Moneypenny!
My Bond, he lies so gleefully
My Bond, he lies without emotion
And swears he'll bring back stuff to me
Bring back, bring back,
Oh bring back my gadgets to me, to me
Bring back, bring back,
Oh bring back my gadgets to me
When-ever Bond goes on a mission
To stop Blofeld starting a war
My gadgetry stops his emission
From knocking-up Pussy Galore
Bring back, bring back,
Oh bring back my gadgets to me, to me
Bring back, bring back,
Oh bring back my gadgets to me
If Goldfinger's laser-bright-light-beam
Should ever hit Bond in the nad
My super high-tech tighty-white-seam
Will block it and Bond'll be glad
Bring back, bring back,
Oh bring back my gadgets to me, to me
Bring back, bring back,
Oh bring back my gadgets to me
I always beseech and implore Bond
To carefully bring back my gear
I wish I had Harry Pot-ter's wand
To make all my sh*t reappear
Bring back, bring back,
Oh bring back my gadgets to me, to me
Bring back, bring back,
Oh bring back my gadgets to me
They all call me Q The Professor
And soon I'll be followed by R
I hope that my worthy successor
Will never trust Bond with a car
Bring back, bring back,
Oh bring back my gadgets to me, to me
Bring back, bring back,
Oh bring back my gadgets to me
If 007 was footing
The bill he would care what he breaks
I'll get the last laugh 'cause I'm putting
Saltpeter in all of his steaks
Bring back, bring back,
You bring back no gadgets to me, to me!
"Thing's slack, thing's slack, your thing's slack," said Moneypenny!
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 11 | 11 | 11 |
User Comments
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"Q's Qvetch"? Shameless last minute writing for the ABC comp, JD....but you sure work well under pressure, coz this is dynamite! 555
Much better then the non-Connery films.
I wonder if the script writers of Star Trek TNG ever thought about the Q of James Bond movies when they made up their own Q guy, well... whatever, as long as Hollywood don't make one of those crossover movies (like Jason vs Freddy Kruger) where the two Qs meet and battle it out. :-)
Oh, and 007 x 79,2857143 of course.
Oh, and 007 x 79,2857143 of course.
double o fine
clever cocept...i was shaken AND stirred...5s
Terrific. Even the great John Barry gives it a five.... (dum da-da-dum dum, dum dum dum dum da-da-dum dum...)
Did you ever wonder where Q came up with all those gadgets? He's really one of the Men in Black. This is fun and fiveworthy.
"I never joke about my work, 007." That's why Johnny D does it for him. If I could give you an extra point on top of your usual 005 for running with my idea of doing one for this Q, the way you did for Star Trek's Q, I would... but then my licence to kill (onstage) would be revoked.
Thank you, Kristof, JB, Peter, Royce, alvin, Henry, Rex, and Michael.
LOL! Loved it, even though I don't know of "Q"...that doesn't take away from it at all. 5's
Parodies about Bonds are more fun...fives
I liked the bit about his reinforcements stopping Bond 'from knocking up Pussy Galore'!
Ha! I didn't read this initially because I thought it would be another one about the Star Trek Q
but the Bond Q I've been a fan of for 40 or so years! - this read like a music hall piece with each verse between the choruses self-contained with its own punch-line - my favourite being the "My super high-tech tighty-white-seam" - gee, how I haven't wished for one of those over the years (sigh)
fantastic stuff - this will cheer Mish Moneypenny up, now she's been omitted from the up-coming Bond flick - 555
but the Bond Q I've been a fan of for 40 or so years! - this read like a music hall piece with each verse between the choruses self-contained with its own punch-line - my favourite being the "My super high-tech tighty-white-seam" - gee, how I haven't wished for one of those over the years (sigh)
fantastic stuff - this will cheer Mish Moneypenny up, now she's been omitted from the up-coming Bond flick - 555
Thanks Adagio, AFW, pickle, and Stuart!
Q05-I remember TOS and the Bond movies just enough to get this. Good work Johnny D.
ABC Q - I know the song and there were a bunch of good lines. My only problem is that I think the word with the asterisk didn't add to the quality of the song at all and was a bit out of character. Of course, maybe the out of character aspect was your goal and if you're sure you like it that way, i won't hold it against you.
(ABC) See above. This had me shaken and stirred.
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