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Song Parodies -> "Lick Toad, Mon"

Original Song Title:

"Loch Lomond"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"Lick Toad, Mon"

Parody Written by:

The Comedian

The Lyrics

Buy one bonnie tank
And buy some bonnie flies
For the din-ner time of yer toads, mon
They're free, and I do love,
To raise 'em on the sly!
For a bonnie, bonnie trip, I'll lick toad, mon

Oh
Ye'll lick the white toad
And
I'll lick the gold toad
And I'll be convulsin' afore ye
Morphine and my blue blood
Will never meet again
For a bonnie, bonnie trip, I'll lick toad, mon

'Twas then that I farted
In yon lady's face
As I bent, bent down, to my toad, mon
"Dear,"
She gurgled,
"Phew,
oh your colon's ill wind blew,
From ye moons comin' out in the gloamin'!"

Oh
Ye'll lick the white toad
And
I'll lick the gold toad
Hal-lu-ci-na-ting we shall both be
Cocaine and my blue blood
Will never meet again
For a bonnie, bonnie trip, I'll lick toad, mon

The wee toadie sprang
Like a tight wire spring
And in swamp-green water went leap-ing
Now my toadless brain kens
A sober think again
For its chemicals have ceased crazy bleatings

Oh
Ye'll lick the white toad
And
I'll lick the gold toad
And stu-pe-fied toad-men we'll both be
Acid and my blue blood
Need never meet again
For a bonnie, bonnie trip, I'll lick toad, mon


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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
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 3   0
 1
 1
 
 4   2
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 5   6
 7
 7
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rick D - September 13, 2004 - Report this comment
You're trippin' today. If the red toad makes weird things happen and the green toad makes you weak and dizzy, does the gold toad take away your powers?
Adagio - September 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Hehe on this! You DO seem to be trippin' today...but Rick is seeing things. 5's
Know 1 can hear you dream - September 13, 2004 - Report this comment
What? No princess shows up in the last verse? You really are tripping today, arenīt you?
John Barry - September 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Toad-like parodists, unite.
Mari D - September 13, 2004 - Report this comment
One toad makes you larger...
Johnny D - September 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Rick, Adagio, Peter, John, and Mari. It's just a toad-lickin' kind of day.
alvin rhodes - September 14, 2004 - Report this comment
we simply must have lunch together sometime, johnny....5s
Johnny D - September 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Heh heh, thank you, Alvin!
Agrimorfee - September 16, 2004 - Report this comment
One toad over the line, sweet Jesus...555
Leah Lockhart - September 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Ooh Ooh, I can play this one on the bagpipes! Cool!!!
Johnny D - September 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Agrimorfee and Leah!
Offender - February 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Dude! Where'd you get the Australian cane toads?
Johnny D - February 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Offender. Where else? "Down Under". ;-)
scamrun52 - November 17, 2005 - Report this comment
You've taken a sad, beautiful, soulful Scottish love song and reduced it to an ode to the mindless pursuit of physical and psychic gratification at who knows what cost. I love it.

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