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Song Parodies -> "Home I'll Arrange (in retirement)"

Original Song Title:

"Home on the Range"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Home I'll Arrange (in retirement)"

Parody Written by:

Barry J. Mitchel

The Lyrics

After years of living in a dense suburban neighborhood, dealing with near neighbors and their offspring, and coping with zoning restrictions and rules about what is not allowed, a new retiree can dream of moving to "the wide open spaces."
Oh, give me a home
With enough fallow loam,
Where the nearest folks can't tell "Nope. Nay!";
Where seldom are heard
Cars of scurrying herds
Who must rise ere night's shroud yields to day.

Dome home I'll arrange
So their fearless kids shan't dwell or play; [1]
Where seldom flocked birds
Drop, while flurrying, turds
As surprise on my crowded driveway.
[1] Just think of me as channelling Mr. Wilson in a "Dennis the Menace" cartoon strip.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   2

User Comments

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Barry J. Mitchel - February 06, 2012 - Report this comment
After submitting one stanza and chorus on Friday at 8:10 AM EST but missing the deadline, I found that TOS has 7 stanzas, such as those in that just reordered the 1910 version on Wikipedia. Over the weekend, I parodied the second and seventh of those stanzas as follow:

Oh, give me some land where my rights are not banned,
No seizures see frown or scream;
Where the nay-saying Law's abiding small wrongs,
Unafraid if you follow your dream.

Oh, my 'hood I'll exchange for home I'll arrange;
There I'll steer post-pay-envelope's sway.
I'll sell domicile, leave its coarse aging style,
And then hide from the crowded malls. Yay!

I may work on stanzas 3 - 6 and resubmit this if there is interest.
AFW - February 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Sounds like a good home to me..
Andria - February 07, 2012 - Report this comment
Great work, Barry. I've had ideas about buying one of the old homesteader houses that still linger around wine country out here in Oregon when I'm in my late 40s/early 50s, but they are for the most part horribly built and in awful condition now. I will probably end up dying of heart disease in my late 50s/early 60s like most other women in my family in this kruddy old townhouse owned by a housing co-op in a rough neighborhood. Fantastic as always, and 5s.
Tommy Turtle - February 08, 2012 - Report this comment
I would have zinged this for the omission, but will abstain, given the confession and penance. ;-D .... Yes, doing all the stanzas would make for a good parody. When it's posted, leave a message at any of my songs, as I usually check "Latest Comments" at least every few days.

Did you see my reply to your comment at last Friday's (Feb 3, 2012) "American Pie", about the comment confusing The Beatles "Eleanor Rigby" with The Turtles' "Elenore"?
Barry J. Mitchel - February 08, 2012 - Report this comment
AFW: Thanks; there are trade-offs that I've neglected, in favor of urban life.
Andria: Sounds like this was tailored for your situation and desires, and that country air might be better for your longevity -- which on amIright I hope is long and productive. Fixing up an old house may inspire new parodies. ;^)
TT: Ouch; I thought I'd get off easy but you expressed interest, so I'll tackle stanzas 3-6 even though my syllable matching probably will suffer. Yes, I saw your reply, thanks, and will educate myself re "Elenore" by your namesake.

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