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Song Parodies -> "I Wish I Was Hawaiian"

Original Song Title:

"(I Wish I Was In) Dixie"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"I Wish I Was Hawaiian"

Parody Written by:

Barry J. Mitchel

The Lyrics

Donald Trump has revived the controversy over President Obama's birth certificate. My parody of TOS about his early life until he began living with grandparents in Hawaii follows Wikipedia. I imagine first-person stanzas to be sung by the president, others by a storyteller.
My swish! [1] I was native-born Hawaiian;
Cold climes there was never caught in.
Had to stray; took a lei; couldn't stay on island. [2]
I left the land that I was born in;
Learned stepfather bossed me, horned in.
Booked away one fine day, made our way from free land.

Now I claim I was Hawaiian; who'll say me nay?
On Big Island, [2] I played in sand; I lived for sky and salt sea;
Each day was gay. Some say uncouth now nix me.
The Donald may; I'll stay his mouth in D.C.!

Ann Dunham married Barack Senior.
When their boy was three, he'd leave her.
Wouldn't pray Muslim way nor obey the Koran. [3]
Lolo Soetoro soon had found her,
Promised never to be a bounder.
Took away to Malay, [4] where they'd stay, was his plan.

Now I claim I was Hawaiian; who'll say me nay?
On Big Island, [2] I played in sand; I lived for sky and salt sea;
Each day was gay. Some say uncouth now nix me.
The Donald may; I'll stay his mouth in D.C.!

Barack soon takes name of the latter, [5]
Four years sat for madrassa patter,
Ev'ry day, five times pray, Allah's way, understand.
Then woe and frowns would match unravel; [3]
To Big Island, boy's bound to travel. [6]
He would stay from that day in his native free land.

Now I claim I was Hawaiian; who'll say me nay?
On Big Island, [2] I played in sand; I lived for sky and salt sea;
Each day was gay. Some say uncouth now nix me.
The Donald may; I'll stay his mouth in D.C.!

[1] A more common expression is "slam dunk!"
[2] Accent first syllable here.
[3] I speculate on causes of separation.
[4] It was Jakarta, Indonesia, but Malay was close and fit TOS.
[5] I.e., Barry Soetoro.
[6] ... to live with Obama grandparents in Honolulu.

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Michael Pacholek - April 12, 2011 - Report this comment
Very appropriate to use the Confederates' song to stand up for the black President on the 150th Anniversary of the Fort Sumter Treason.
Old Man Ribber - April 12, 2011 - Report this comment
BJM - Evocative and provocative (good job). Another possible parody for The Donald might be "Birther The Blues"! Michael - Although Dixie was adopted by the CSA as its national air (equivalent to Yankee Doodle rather than The Star Spangled Banner), BOTH sides knew and used it. Daniel Decatur Emmett (the composer) was never in the South in his life (only six fewer weeks than Stephen Foster!). Conversely, the tune of The Battle Hymn Of The Republic and John Brown's Body was originally a Southern camp meeting tune by William Steffe called "Brother, Will You Meet Us When We Reach The Other Side?". ;D
BJM - April 12, 2011 - Report this comment
MP: Thanks for pointing out the irony, but he's only half black -- although any blood greater than 1/32 black was considered then to be Negro.
OMR: Thanks for (1) the lead, but I'll leave that parody to you; and (2) for history that only someone living across the Ohio River from Cincinnati could provide on short notice. I now belong to another CSA (Christian Seniors Association),
BJM - April 12, 2011 - Report this comment
Footnote [2] should say second, not first, and should appear in line 25 also.
Christie Marie M - April 12, 2011 - Report this comment
Aloha to you, Barry! Very interesting bio of Obama's Hawaiian background! I sure wish I was Hawaiian as well. I grant you 5 leis, 5 ukelele's, and 5 pineapples for this one!
Mean Hawaiian Punch - April 13, 2011 - Report this comment
When I first read that Obama was born in Honolulu, HI I thought, "Whaat?". Then I remembered "Magnum P.I." There's Rick, Magnum, the Brit "Higgie Baby" and T.C., who is black. With that I figured that anything IS possible and I've travelled to a lot of places and have met a lot of different people. This "birther" crap has got to stop. We have more pressing issues now and we've had much greater Constitutional violations in the past number of years that have gone unpunished. Anyway, I'd like to be Hawaiian as well, with some local hula girl by my side ; ) 5 leis, 5 ukes, 5 pineapples, 5 Macadamia nuts and 5 volcanos for you! Ah-loh-ha!
BJM - April 14, 2011 - Report this comment
CMM: Aloha back atcha! As a Brit once said to Toulouse-Lautrec, "Long time no 'ear." (since Oct. 8). I hope to see new parody from you soon.
MHP: It's really BHO's time outside the USA that makes people question whether he sees America's history and future differently.
Dixiecrats prefer magnolias, banjos, grapefruit, peanuts and hot springs.

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