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Song Parodies -> "Blondes Make Me Quiver, I'm Tiger Woods"

Original Song Title:

"Over the River and Through the Woods"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Blondes Make Me Quiver, I'm Tiger Woods"

Parody Written by:

John Jenkins

The Lyrics

In 1844, Lydia Maria Child wrote the original poem, which depicts the excitement of a joyful Thanksgiving. 165 years later, Tiger Woods did not have a joyful Thanksgiving. Kudos to Timmy1000 who also came up with the idea of using this orginal poem/song for this topic - only 4 days before I did.
Blondes make me quiver, I’m Tiger Woods;
My passion I can’t control.
It makes my wife weep, but I cannot keep
My balls out of the wrong hole.

Pro golfers shiver when Tiger Woods
Is the man they have to beat.
They usually choke and make awkward strokes,
Like I do with blondes I meet.

A lavish liver, I’m Tiger Woods;
I travel near and far:
New York to Melbourne, my shaft is well-worn,
But I still keep breaking par.

Over some rivers and into the woods,
A lot of long drives I’ve sprayed.
But now, woe is me, ‘cause into a tree
I’ve driven my Excalade.

I will deliver to Mrs. Woods
A confession of my sin.
If she can’t forgive it, she’ll take a new divot
Out of my unfaithful chin.

She’s a forgiver, she’s Mrs. Woods;
But so she won’t have a cow,
It is a sad fact my pre-nup contract
Makes her the boss starting now.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   14

User Comments

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Timmy1000 - December 04, 2009 - Report this comment
John, thanks for the note and great follow-up in the Tiger story. After four days, a lot has changed and this is like reading chapter two. I'm sure there will be more chapters in this saga.
Mark Scotti - December 04, 2009 - Report this comment fives! great take on the Tiger's "tale"!!
AFW - December 04, 2009 - Report this comment
Very funny...lots of great double-take lines..the best I've seen on Tiger's problems
Red Ant - December 04, 2009 - Report this comment
Swell variation on the title lines, and each verse ended with a great pun or gag. "Forgive it/divot" was a inspired couplet. Well played, John.
BlondieCakes - December 04, 2009 - Report this comment
Ahhh Sir Jenkins, so you are sweet on Swedes, eh ?
Old Man Ribber - December 05, 2009 - Report this comment
Another excellent approach (cheap) shot! Par 5-5-5! ;D
Jonathan S. - December 05, 2009 - Report this comment
This parody is more than good--it's grrr-reat! Whoops, wrong tiger. lol Anyway, 555

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