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Song Parodies -> "Can't Find My Freakin' Luggage, Man"

Original Song Title:

"God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"Can't Find My Freakin' Luggage, Man"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

I've never lost my bags when flying, but that's because my parents were in charge of that crap. If I ever do lose my stuff, it may go a little something like this:
Can't find my freakin' luggage, man
I lost it on the plane!
It had important things in there
I might just go insane!
My laptop and my new iPod
And even my pimp cane!
Oh, where can my bloody luggage be?
Oh, deary me!
Oh, where can my bloody luggage be?

I walk up to the nearest staff
Member and start to rant:
"You bastards lost my stuff again
It's getting out of hand!
The last time that you lost it all
It wound up in Baghdad!
So what are you gonna do 'bout that
Hurry up, man!
Cuz I kinda need what's in my bags!"

The goober who just copped all this
Just waffled off some shite:
"It may be in the baggage hold
Well hidden out of sight
It could have fallen out the plane
Could be on the next flight!
Lots of places that your stuff could be
Simple, you see?
Lots of places that your stuff could be!"

I couldn't take no more, so I
Asked for the manager
The dweeb ran off, which made me wish
That I had been nicer
It probably wasn't his fault
I feel quite the loser
Yes, I'm pissed but that's not the right thing
Feel like dieing
Yes, I'm pissed but that's not a nice thing

The manager comes over, says
He'll look into my plight
He runs off to the intercom
I then apologize
The kid says "That's alright, good sir
Cuz I understand why"
Now we're waiting for the manager
To come back here
We're still waiting for the manager

The manager comes back, with an
Old lady and my bags!
He says "There was a mixup there
Your stuff's back, are you glad?"
To tell the truth, I'm overjoyed
But was compelled to ask
"If my stuff's here, then what about hers?
Might have it worse
Cuz her meds might be up in Dunkirk?"

The manager, he shits his pants
And says that he forgot
I've half a mind to punch his face
Did his brain go and rot?
But I've learnt that's a stupid thing
He matters not a jot
So I ask "What can I do to help?"
This shocks the whelp
And the kid and the old lady as well!
The start of this one was inspired by Ed Byrne. The rest of the plot was dreamt up in the shower.

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 LittleLots
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   10
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Stan Hall - November 30, 2009 - Report this comment
5s, tho' i must say that the 3-4 times airlines have lost my luggage--all but one homebound-- have occasioned far less inconvenience than when they've cancelled my flight. I really wish I had photos of the "survival kits" Aer Lingus gave my wife and myself to tide us over the time our luggage inadvertently traveled to Dublin a few flighs behind our own ... teesny toohbrush and paste packet, and a pair of paper underpants -- both male and female versions sans fly. :-)
Timmy1000 - November 30, 2009 - Report this comment
They have lost mine a couple of times but always found it. I agree with Stan - cancllations are a bigger problem. Nice venting.
Silver Power - November 30, 2009 - Report this comment
LOL@Pimp cane. Funny parody, great job! 5s.
Leo Keough - November 30, 2009 - Report this comment
Very funny story!!!...555!!!
Jack Wilson - November 30, 2009 - Report this comment
Love it! 5s
DJ Blaze - November 30, 2009 - Report this comment
Wow, you thought this up in the shower? Great minds think anywhere. Hilarious and could possibly be a true story. 555
Phil Nelson - November 30, 2009 - Report this comment
Great stuff 555's
Old Man Ribber - November 30, 2009 - Report this comment
(ala Southwest Airlines) Husbands...grab your "bags"...it's on!
Jeff Reuben - December 20, 2009 - Report this comment
Ah. So you've flown Delta? :-) Funny song on something bound to happen to us all sometime
Arwen - December 28, 2009 - Report this comment
Hee hee...this made me smile. I've had my luggage lost before. It's not a good thing. I, unlike you, didn't feel bad about being a jerk. ; ) Nice work!

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