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Song Parodies -> "Streets of Killeen TX (Fort Hood)"

Original Song Title:

"Streets of Laredo (or El Paso)"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"Streets of Killeen TX (Fort Hood)"

Parody Written by:

Barry J. Mitchel

The Lyrics

I commemorate November 5's slaughter and propose a motive, a punishment and a way forward. In the OS, the young cowboy at least expressed remorse for his outlaw life.
As I walked out on the streets of Killeen, oh
As I walked out by Fort Hood that Thursday,
I spied Major Hasan dressed up in white, grinnin'
At Seven-Eleven and holdin' latte.

"I see by your outfit that you were in Kabul."
These words he did say as I proudly stepped by.
"Come sit down beside me and hear my sad story;
I'm caught in the West and I know it must die.

"I once in Reed Walter, enthused by bin Laden,
Was dunce at his altar, confused ev'ry way.
That first led to thinkin', and then to hard prayin';
I'll not with the rest be deployin' Friday.

"On fixed follied fantasy tarry I often:
Get six dozen virgins and marry them all.
Throw punch till it closes an infidel's coffin,
Imposin' what's said in my god Allah's call."

He changed into camo's, with clips and two pistols,
Then culled his apartment and gave much away;
Strode to the assembly hall, jumped on a table,
Cried "Allahu Akbar" as lead he did spray.

Felled thirteen fine soldiers and wounded some thirty
(No personal weapons brought they to the fray),
Ran outdoors, chased fleers till Kimberly Munley
Could drop him with four slugs. No more could he slay.

Oh, hang the crumb slowly and lay the snipe lowly,
And may we yet march militarily as strong.
Take heed of his fallacy and pray for God's mercy,
For crime that stung many can show lies gone wrong.

We banged the drum slowly and played the pipe lowly
And bitterly wept as we carried them along.
For all loved our comrades so brave, young and winsome.
We all loved our comrades who had not done wrong.
The OS has many variants. I altered Arlo Guthrie's 6 stanzas and inserted 2 like Johnny Cash.

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - November 16, 2009 - Report this comment
Thank you, Barry. I was afraid to attempt a write on this subject because my deeply-held feelings would turn any cleverness to vitriol. But editor Evan Thomas of Newsweek is at it again. Already America's foremost Obama idolitor ("...above the world, he's sort of God") he has weighed in with this memorable quote..."I cringe that he's a Muslim....with that label attached to him, it will get the right wing going. And it just, these things are tragic but this makes it much worse." Makes it much worse? Evan, tell that to the widows, orphans, and bereaved friends and comrades of the fallen! Arrogant self-important dirt bags using this to further THEIR political agendas, now THAT would be the WORST!
Patrick - November 17, 2009 - Report this comment
A fitting original melody on which to hang your well-crafted lyrics. I note your reference to the fact that soldiers are unarmed on a military base, making them sitting ducks for the first fool who won't follow the rules. Though I don't expect the Army to learn the obvious lesson from this. Hasan made no secret of his disdain for the war, his reluctance to serve, nor his contacts with known anti-American terrorists. What good is strip searching little old ladies at the airport if obvious troublemakers like this SOB are missed? Best song of the day.
Barry J. Mitchel - November 17, 2009 - Report this comment
OMR: I hope I avoided vitriol. My first draft last Thursday had some, but thanks to Tropical Storm Ida in SE VA, I had no power for 3 days and made lots of revisions. Another civilian cop, Mark Todd, may have made the final shot. See http://tbirdnow.mee.nu/eyewitness_account_of_fort_hoot_attack by a JAG officer on-site.
Barry J. Mitchel - November 17, 2009 - Report this comment
Patrick: He was not only an SoB but also an SoA (Son of Allah), printed on his "business" card. Thanks for your nomination for BSotD.
Andria - November 17, 2009 - Report this comment
Great parody, Barry. When I heard about the Jihadist connection with the person who committed this senseless and barbaric massacre, I was shocked that the army would allow him to enlist. As for when I first heard about the story, I was outright disgusted with the fact that soldiers on bases do not carry weapons. 5s.

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