~


[ Mitt Romney, crooning to Craig ]

You’ve done YNG* BOI
HOT JSM JOI
LUV RAM
And WET SUX
AIM ‘n AFT
ALY JAC
CEE MAN
And DUM FUK…
But, do you recall
The least welcoming airport of all?

MSP ends your reign, dear
Undercover man said “Whoa!”
“What’s with your ‘border’ crossings?
Keep that ‘issue’ SFO’s!”

All of the Senate’s leaders
Lurkin’ in the back now pray
Fervently that Chris Hanson
Won’t be sendin’ crews *their* way!

When it’s time to ‘spin’ your side
Forethought wins the day—
Press attacking? Think like Strom
Claim you’re prowlin’ for shoe bombs!

Now after years in Congress
Larry fondle-y re-calls
Why he loves fil-i-busters—
They’re the country’s grandest ‘stalls’!

~ reprise-on-one’s-knees ~

MSP ends your reign, dear
Musak in the men’s cops chose?
Show tunes, of course, ‘cause they know
‘Light-in-loafers’ *must* tap toes!

Now that you aren’t resigning
Sound byte “Stick it out” gets play
with, “I sure took a beating” (and)
“Sex with guys don’t mean I’m gay!”

Airport conduct? Signals crossed?
‘Petiquette’ is frayed—
Too bad there’s no man’ners guide
Coun-sel-ing: “Your ‘stance’—*too* wide!”

Now how Mark Foley loves him
Spewing forth with heady glee:
“Even though our ca-reers ‘stalled’
We’ll ‘go down’ in fist-ory!”

HEH! HAH!

~~~~~~~~

Actual Airport Codes *, in song order:

YNG – Youngstown, Ohio (young)
BOI – Boise, Idaho (boy)
HOT - Hot Springs, Arkansas (hot)
JSM - Jose De San Martin, Argentina (jism)
JOI - Joinville, Brazil (joy)
LUV - Langguri, Indonesia (love)
RAM - Ramingining, NT, Australia (ram)
WET – Wagethe, Indonesia (wet)
SUX - Souix City, Iowa (sucks)
AIM - Ailuk Island, Marshall Islands (aim)
AFT - Afutara, Soloman Islands (aft)
ALY - Alexandria, Egypt (alley)
JAC- Jackson Hole, Wyoming (jack)
CEE – Chevepovets, Russia (se- in ‘semen’)
MAN – Manchester, England (-man in ‘semen’)
DUM - Dumai, Indonesia (dumb)
FUK - Fukuoka, Japan (yes, it’s the actual code!)
MSP – Minneapolis-St. Paul, MM (where he was nabbed!)
SFO – San Francisco, California
HEH - Heno, Myanmar
HAH - Moroni, Comoros, Africa
~~~~~

Craigisms to ponder –

1) Larry’s *never* flown into WBQ (Beaver, AK). The very thought elicits an EEK! (Eek, Arkansas)

2) The fact that Larry’s still a ‘sitting’ senator is a bunch of HUY (Humberside, UK) and, well, just his ‘stroke’ of GUD LUC (Goundam, Mali & Laucala Island, Fiji)!

3) Larry’s nome-de-bare? “IDA HOE” (Idaho Falls, ID & Houeisay, Laos)!

4) Loved Goiania, Brazil (GYN)… but HELlishly (Helsinki, Finland) difficult to work into this particular song, if you catch my drift…

4) Alternate last lines: We’ll ‘go down’ ‘in piss-tory!’… or 'in Mister-spree!’… or ‘in twis-tory!... or ‘where Misters pee!’… or ‘on blister’d knee… or ‘on Senate seat!’

~