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Song Parodies -> "Onward, Martha Stewart"
Original Song Title:
"Onward, Christian Soldiers"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"Onward, Martha Stewart"
Parody Written by:
Barry J. Mitchel
The Lyrics
Martha Stewart did prison time for lying about an alleged 'insider' stock sale. Her release on March 4, 2005 held promise of new TV shows. For original words, visit http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/o/n/onwardcs.htm or http://www.hymnsite.com/lyrics/umh575.sht or any pre-PC hymnal.
Onward, Martha Stewart, marching out jail's door
With the gloss to please us as she did before.
Donald Trump, the master, needs her sense and glow;
Forward into boardrooms, see her manners go.
[Refrain (first two lines, different melody)]
Like a mighty army, droves she nurtured plod;
Mothers, owners dreading any taint of fraud.
We are now delighted that she will be free;
Done time moping stock trading's one disparity.
[Refrain]
CEOs may parachute, fiefdoms rise and wane;
But her Omnimedia constant will remain.
Gates of prison never 'gainst it can prevail;
We have Martha's promise that she will not fail.
[Refrain]
Onward, then, ye novices, join her snappy throng;
Blend with hers your choices that are never wrong.
She'll regain her honor, and to us will bring
Online countless pages, many a Good Thing.
[Refrain]
With the gloss to please us as she did before.
Donald Trump, the master, needs her sense and glow;
Forward into boardrooms, see her manners go.
[Refrain (first two lines, different melody)]
Like a mighty army, droves she nurtured plod;
Mothers, owners dreading any taint of fraud.
We are now delighted that she will be free;
Done time moping stock trading's one disparity.
[Refrain]
CEOs may parachute, fiefdoms rise and wane;
But her Omnimedia constant will remain.
Gates of prison never 'gainst it can prevail;
We have Martha's promise that she will not fail.
[Refrain]
Onward, then, ye novices, join her snappy throng;
Blend with hers your choices that are never wrong.
She'll regain her honor, and to us will bring
Online countless pages, many a Good Thing.
[Refrain]
Permission is given to use this parody for pleasure and/or profit, provided credit and email notice are given to Barry J. Mitchel at bjmitchel@att.net .
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User Comments
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The only thing funny here was the footnote, giving permission to use this "parody" for pleasure or profit. You better give some pointers how to accomplish either. Extra credit for ego awarded only thing that kept this from lower marks
Phil Harris, Tom Lehrer, Allan Sherman, Studs Terkel & Garrison Keillor all profit(ed) from musical parodies; but they're too smart to give them away free, unlike us. Send an email and I'll explain why humor is not the only good quality of a parody. But if you crave humor, try misc/peggylee7 or misc/jostafford0 or 60s/thecastofthemusicaloklahoma0, 1, or 2, or 60s/thefantasticks0. I take a risk that you'll bomb them as you did here. If you sing these in public and people drop money, keep it, but let me know.
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