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Song Parodies -> "Onward, Muslim Soldiers"

Original Song Title:

"Onward, Christian Soldiers"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Onward, Muslim Soldiers"

Parody Written by:

Barry J. Mitchel

The Lyrics

Israel's Summer 2006 troubles with Hamas in the Gaza Strip and Hezbollah in Lebanon teach the old lesson, "Give an inch, lose a mile", and that tunnels trump walls. The UN and G-8 summiteers butted in for temporary peace. This Christian song was kidnapped for the ongoing global struggle and is a warning to onlookers. For original words, visit or or any pre-PC hymnal.
Onward, Muslim soldiers, launching holy war;
Double-crossing Jewry, as you've done before.
Hezbollah (Hamas too) speeds, as tensions grow,
Armageddon's battle, Persia's planners crow.

[Refrain (first two lines)]

Israel's mighty army moves on Muslim sod;
Infidels are treading where Mohammed trod!
They were not invited, just our captives three;
Done in hope of ransom, not in parity.


Autocrats we cherish, freedom's rise can wane.
Europe will appease us, as they did in Spain.
G8s can quell but never 'gainst our march prevail;
We've Osama's promise that we cannot fail.


One word, Jews and Christians: join, submit, belong;
Blend in, yield your choices to the Muslim throng;
Glory, laud, and honor unto Allah sing!
Back through countless ages, Mankind we shall bring.

Permission is given to use this parody for profit and/or pleasure, provided credit and email notice are given to Barry J. Mitchel at

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Perilyn Patton - March 05, 2010 - Report this comment
if only I could write like this. This hymn is for the super-devout, the ones who have no humor. So, this parody is all the funnier. It doesn't have the usual sex or bathroom humor; what a relief! Great stuff.
Barry J. Mitchel - April 30, 2010 - Report this comment
PP, your comment on my 2006Oct27 work was worth waiting for! Check out my other parodies of that era, including 2 on the same OS and another about Jews & Muslims. BTW, G8s is pronounced Gates for meter.

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