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Song Parodies -> "Haunted Well"

Original Song Title:

"All Too Well (Taylor's Version)"

Original Performer:

Taylor Swift

Parody Song Title:

"Haunted Well"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Strawberry Ice Cream" self-challenge. Yep, back on my USoP bullshit, still without a 2020s category. Which feels especially weird for this one as it's a recording of a 2010s song because Scooter Braun is a douchecanoe, but that's not important. What is important that I finally get to do what I wanted to do 20 months ago: write a parody about The Ring!
She watched this weird video, the tape was old
And somethin' 'bout it shocked her soul somehow, it's like
Watchin' a tape there in a run-down house
Where those who watched it last are corpses right now

Oh, that's a bad position to be in, I'd say
But then she gets the call, you know how this plays
One of two parts of this lodged in pop culture's brain
All that the caller says to her: "Seven days"

Perfect start to a plot for some freaky-ass shit galore
It's not gory, that's great, no fan of that at all, oh-oh-oh

How can you end up dead from a VHS screened?
A mystery with dread and so few people who would believe
I would be scared if I dared to watch tapes 'bout a haunted well

It's a tricky ghost to counter, not obvious she's hexed
And then her creepy little kid starts watchin', shoulda stayed in bed
She's already so damn worried that she's got her ex on scene
To study the whole past of the pictures on the screen

Keepin' track of the clock before she somehow ends up in doom
Her face all twisted but less out of shock and more it mutated all askew

The horses were all dead so the breeder took her life?
That's one hell of a lead there, guess it's Moesko Island time
Widower's there, might learn a bit more 'bout this haunted well, yeah-eah

I wonder what got lost in translation, this ain't the Japanese one
But I'm not used to movies I must read, so this is where I'm stuck
Tangent there, please don't stare, let's get back to the haunted well
I'm still waitin' for the bit where she learns the well is haunted
The one thing I know 'bout this apart from the callin'
So far, my guess is the ghost girl's hair is all wet because she drowned in that spot she haunts
Damned well

Fin'lly find it, beneath the floor? What the shit?
I thought the whole psychic daughter thing was the weirdest out-there twist
There she goes, she fell inside, saw that comin', you know
Horror film with a well? Someone's dropped down below
That's where she finds the corpse of Samara, man, I'd freak
But then the dead girl's dad zapped himself to death, what a week
Which is over, did she beat the curse of the haunted well? Yeah-eah

Not 'cause she found the kid, can't end it like so
Since her ex was present and he's dead, the video
Can't be rare, copies there will save you from that haunted well

Doesn't seem fair, have to share, pass the curse right along
Forced to share what's down there, keep that curse goin' strong
Better share or she's there, crawlin' out of that haunted well

Have I actually watched any version of The Ring? No, still have no interest in watching horror films. Do I have a preference for either version of All Too Well? Never heard the original, so I can't say. Will I revive my thread on the inthe00's forum to post links? No 'cause it's dead as Samara's mum's horses.

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 LittleLots
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   13
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User Comments

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Matthias - December 13, 2021 - Report this comment
Not posting the songs on inthe00s.com this year?
bobpiecheese - December 13, 2021 - Report this comment
Holy crap, you noticed. I figured there wasn't any point reviving a year-long dead thread every year, but if you want me to...

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