the match won't start, it's falling apart
the lighter works, and that's real smart
the smoke in my nose ah there it goes
my spliff is fat, and I like that

just when I thought things weren't all right
I had a bad trip and got uptight
with all the grass, my sorry old ass
I should know better, and show more class

this weed aint worth what's paid
get high gotta smoke it all day
whooooooo I'm on my way
hay hay hay hay!!!!

honey, I'm stoned, and in a bad way
get me some chocolate, and oh by the way
where's my feet? something sweet now to eat
what's that noise did you just queef?
honey I'm whacked, and my head's killing me
I need to come down, with LSD
get on the phone, they've bugged our home
hay hay.. honey I'm stoned

I broke a sweat getting out of bed
I cursed out loud, at my throbbing head
this stuff's so bleak, we have to seek
another source by the end of the week

this weed aint worth what's paid
get high gotta smoke it all day
whooooooo I'm on my way
hay hay hay hay!!!!

honey, I'm stoned, and in a bad way
get me some chocolate, and oh by the way
where's my feet? something sweet now to eat
what's that noise did you just queef?
honey I'm whacked, and my head's killing me
I need to come down, with LSD
get on the phone, they've bugged our home
hay hay.. honey I'm stoned

oh roll me up, will you?


honey, I'm stoned, and in a bad way
get me some chocolate, and oh by the way
where's my feet? something sweet now to eat
what's that noise did you just queef?
honey I'm whacked, and my head's killing me
I need to come down, with LSD
get on the phone, they've bugged our home
hay hay.. honey I'm stoned

I'm stoned I feel much better