Look, if you had one shot, to dominate every team in NYC, ONE CHANCE, would you grab it, or let it pass by...

Your palms are sweaty, knees bent, bat is steady.
Posada gave the signal already, Rocket's ready.
No way out. Bet you wish you were Mr Met-y.
But you're not, your name is just Eddie
Taubensee that is, all the fans just hiss
when the ball passes, over the plate but ump says
ball three, this is more painful than a briss
three and two ball comes in with a whiz
SNAP back goes the ball and it, heads to the wall and the
Reds have just beaten the Yanks, for it all and the
Party's a ball and Stein-
Brenner can't take it, he knows the whole high city's dream
rest solely on his team,
But his Yanks just got reamed
backup catcher it seemed
When he goes back to his office stream
can't let off his steam maybe if had he,
signed a free agent he wouldn't have got destroyed by cincinnatti.

I wish they'd lose all their games, by a ton, 10 to 1
put NYC in a tailspin
it only takes one swing do not miss the chance to win
And slam their sports teams into the black abyss again.

I wish they'd lose all their games, by a ton, 10 to 1
put NYC in a tailspin
it only takes one swing do not miss the chance to win
And slam their sports teams into the black abyss again

And then theres Latrell, the big thug known as Sprewell
the game is his, with a yell, I JUST SCREAM!
as he moves by a, big Matt Geiga (er), tries to block his try a,
But the Latrell, goes to the sky a
Miracle worker Matt leaps to the sky
and prays to god give him wings to let him fly
Now the clock ticks, 9-8-7-6 and,
Spike Lee and Cath'rine Zeta Jones and Douglass are all looking sick and,
so does every fan who roots fo the Knicks
As Geiger throws his plan into motion
He knows Chuck Ward can't throw the ball in the ocean
He thumbs Latrell in the eyes and forces a pass to the point guard
Charlie can't ever block out the rant from all of New York
as his three point shot sails over the backboard.

I wish they'd drop all their games, oh it's true, 50, 2,
I don't care how much it is by
There isn't a team that I hate hard as I may try
I wish the New York Knicks would just shrivel up and die

I wish they'd drop all their games, oh it's true, 50, 2,
I don't care how much it is by
There isn't a team that I hate hard as I may try
I wish the New York Knicks would just shrivel up and die

Never miss a chance, to do a dance,
when the Mets are in a trance, I hear Mo Vaughn's rants.
I have only watched the Rangers one time one day.
Highest payroll but they don't go the playoff way.
Yeah and colleges they can just eat a worm
St John's are they the Red Men or Red Storm?
David Stern sits and tries to dream on
Of The Knicks winning the draft for Lebron
Like to take all those teams and their players,
Make them all go to Kansas City and live just a day
Try win a game without 13 athletic tapers
Look there's Giambi discussing the ration of toilet paper
And there's Mussina and Jeter, look like Chris Draper
And the Brewers have signed Tom Glavine whoa in Detroit
There's Ventura looking older than a sad Jon Voight
Wanna look in Denver, cuz I'm a Nuggets freak
And see which free agent is leaving us this week
a fiery offseason, then the players land in Washington
They may have lost MJ but now they got Chris Dudley's son
I'll wish till all my days are done, and I can't walk, I can't run
Because there's only one city I shun, I'm gonna spend my life hating the New York, why not, it's fun?!

I wish they'd lose all their games, by a ton, 10 to 1
put NYC in a tailspin
it only takes one swing do not miss the chance to win
And slam their sports teams into the black abyss again

I wish they'd drop all their games, oh it's true, 50, 2,
I don't care how much it is by
There isn't a team that I hate hard as I may try
I wish the New York Knicks would just shrivel up and die