(So zealously…)
(He pawned her ring)
(This man’s one churl)
(Hell’s what he’ll pay)

To the wife, shouldna said…
“You’re much bigger now we’re wed”…that’s a given
And I’ll not get romance…
Now I’ve said she can’t dance…that’s a given

Chance is blown
Never gonna bone
Goin’ home alone…
An’ now I’ll be the baddie

I hear nay
Never gonna lay
If I ever say…
“You’ve a rear like a Caddy”

I will strut roun’ the pool
Rooster-like; a-thinkin’ I’m cool…that’s a given
Though I think I look chic…
To the girls, I’m some freak in a thong
An’ my walk is a scream…
Like my ‘hind had some reamin’ this mornin’
Scusa me, but I’ve pee…
Drippin’ down to my knee without warnin’

(Now, for poon, p’rhaps he’ll try…)
(Like, a big pumpkin pie with a hole in)

That’s arousin’!

(Other times, it’s bovine…)
(And he’s known to touch swine – that’s appallin’!)

That’s appealin’!

(Girls will flip…)
(If you ever quip…)
(“Hairy upper lip”)
(He once said, “You’re a fella”)
(“Bloody hell, you’re a fella”)

(They won’t play)
(Tippy-toe away)
(Be a bummer day)
(If a smegged up cappella)

Yucky fella!

I will lech at some lass…
With nice knockers and ass…that’s a given
(That’s a given)
In the joint down the street…
There’s a crowd that I meet; one’s a love
I’m a dork, an’ a joke…
So I doubt I’ll be pokin’ this bimbo
Scuzzy, me; ten buck fee
Now a crack whore will be legs akimbo
(Akimbo)
Legs akimbo