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Song Parodies -> "Kringle Sell Rock"
Original Song Title:
"Jingle Bell Rock"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Bobby Helms
Parody Song Title:
"Kringle Sell Rock"
Parody Written by:
The Comedian
The Lyrics
With apologies to jolly ol' Kris Kringle ...
( instrumental intro )
Kringle sell, Kringle sell,
Kringle sell rock
Kringle sells swings and Kringle sells rings
Coppin' and moppin' up bushels of cash
As the Kringle-shop shoppers dash
Kringle sell, Kringle sell,
Kringle sell rock
Kringle sells shining jingle bell chimes
Pushin' an' shovin' in Kringle Sell Mall
In the frosty brawl
"Gotta buy mine!"
It's the right time
To shop the night away
Kringle sell time
is a
swell time ---
--- to go fightin' in a gun-store fray
Stickin'-up Kringle stores
Pickin' up sweet
Things in a diamond-shop
Mix and a-mingle in the jinglin' street
Past the Kringle-sell cop
( instrumental bridge )
Kringle sell, Kringle sell,
Kringle sell rock
Kringle sells shining jingle bell chimes
Sluggin' an' muggin' in Kringle Sell Square
In the frosty air
"Hey, get in-line!"
"Wait your turn, slime!"
The bird's flipped in your face
Kringle sell time
is a
swell time ---
--- for line-cuttin' with a can of mace
Stickin'-up Kringle stores
Pickin' up free
Things in a Kringle-shop
Stick-stabbin'
Tingle-Taser,
and you'll hear "FREEZE!"
That's the Kringle-sell,
That's the Kringle-sell,
That's the Kringle-sell cop!
( instrumental ending )
Kringle sell, Kringle sell,
Kringle sell rock
Kringle sells swings and Kringle sells rings
Coppin' and moppin' up bushels of cash
As the Kringle-shop shoppers dash
Kringle sell, Kringle sell,
Kringle sell rock
Kringle sells shining jingle bell chimes
Pushin' an' shovin' in Kringle Sell Mall
In the frosty brawl
"Gotta buy mine!"
It's the right time
To shop the night away
Kringle sell time
is a
swell time ---
--- to go fightin' in a gun-store fray
Stickin'-up Kringle stores
Pickin' up sweet
Things in a diamond-shop
Mix and a-mingle in the jinglin' street
Past the Kringle-sell cop
( instrumental bridge )
Kringle sell, Kringle sell,
Kringle sell rock
Kringle sells shining jingle bell chimes
Sluggin' an' muggin' in Kringle Sell Square
In the frosty air
"Hey, get in-line!"
"Wait your turn, slime!"
The bird's flipped in your face
Kringle sell time
is a
swell time ---
--- for line-cuttin' with a can of mace
Stickin'-up Kringle stores
Pickin' up free
Things in a Kringle-shop
Stick-stabbin'
Tingle-Taser,
and you'll hear "FREEZE!"
That's the Kringle-sell,
That's the Kringle-sell,
That's the Kringle-sell cop!
( instrumental ending )
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 22 | 22 | 22 |
User Comments
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LOL! It seemed as if you were warming up to this song in comments with all your rhymes. Maybe weapons aren't used at Christmas, but I bet they might as well be; never seen such a cut-throat bunch of people...lol You nailed their 'spirit' of Christmas. 5's
Great, JD - another carol in the true spirit of Christmas ;-)
Awesome job,555!
Welcome Back Johnny D, we all missed ya, how was retirement?
A very nice song to sing to
OMG, this is hilarious! Love all the wordplay, too. 555s +
I might have to steal this from you Johnny about a Santa Drug Dealer, called "Kringle Sells Rock"
Ah! And then did our hero end up in a Single Kringle Cell? :-)
Kringle get fives.
Brilliant, funny, and perfectly executed!
(wipes tears of laughter from her eyes) 555
lol...5s
Thanks, Adagio, Philbo, Jack, Matthias, Ann, Yoidy, Merry, Rex, Red Ant, carol, and alvin!
SOTM-Great one
(SOTM) This month's competition should be called "Good Stuff I Missed While On Xmas Vacation". Here's an example. Very good Bob Rivers-esque whimsey.
(SOTM) Incredible execution. Loved the title sub, the concept, the lyrics... Wow, you have quite an imagination and a lot of creative prowess. Are you planning on doing a sequel for next year: Kringle Cell Rock? LOL 555
SOTM-Well, the pacing and rhyme schemes were terrific, but after reading the first three entries (minus my own) I must say all three parodies are about the same thing. . .Christmas really dominated last month. . .funny funny funny, no easy eliminations it's looking like. . .haven't read a bad parody yet.
SOTM - And as we're finally getting some snow here this gives me the first real christmessy feeling I've had all season. :-)
Very good work.---MM
(SOTM) See above, and all the lines after the ( instrumental bridge ) were my favorites.
(SOTM) Is this a sequel to Rick Cormier's "Shopping With A Weapon In My Hand"? =D This made me literally laugh out loud, especially the bird-flipping and "gun-store fray" lines, the latter was a brilliant sub!
(SOTM) Ya know, I think Cat may be right! Great parody, Johnny D!
(SOTM) firstly I loved the fact you used a Xmas song to send up Xmas - this is better than th OS - and secondly, I always enjoy reading your parodies JD, because it's always almost impossible to stumble on your pacing, with all that syllable-matching - a deceptively hard achievement - 555
(SOTM) This looked like a hoot to do, JD. As Stu said, a great send up of a popular Christmas tune, and paced perfectly. Badabing! 555
(SOTM) I wouldn't leave a single Kringle thingle out! Kringle sells hard rock!
Already commented on this, but saw Stu's comment above, and had to add that humungous numbers of parodies on this site are lyrically way ahead of their respective OSs - we strive for lyrical fireworks, whereas people who write things like "Jingle Bell Rock", well, words fail me... just don't.
Still the king of sound-alikes, I see. Particularly enjoyed "to go fightin' in a gun-store fray" and "Stickin'-up Kringle stores/Pickin' up sweet". Great work, JD. And it comforts me that you're still hanging around amiright as the years go by.
Loved it again, your weirdness in parodies never fails. 555
SOTM - Certain parts of this were reminiscent of Rick Cormier's "Shopping With A Weapon in My Hand", and since I liked that song, I approve of this. Excellent subs here.
Sorry I missed this before now, Johnny :-)
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