Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms"

Original Song Title:

"Atchison, Topeka and Santa Fe"

Original Performer:

Bing Crosby

Parody Song Title:

"Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms"

Parody Written by:

Barry J. Mitchel

The Lyrics

This manuscript was found on a drug-cartel victim who had heard TOS as a child in New Mexico. It's ironic that a song about a profitable railroad could be parodied to satirize "Fast and Furious" a.k.a. "Operation Gun Runner", a "back-firing" policy of an administration that insists on subsidizing new high-speed rail. None of this is funny, especially line 6, but it may have wry humor.
Did you hear that guns flowed down like wine?
I figured they were sending some that's mighty fine.
Down in Mexico, they're bound to stay
From the Alcohol, Tobacco, Fi-yer-arms give-away.

See the gun-smoke rise, hear sounds descend;
I reckon that a border agent met his end.
Folks around these parts get more crime each day,
Thanks to Alcohol, Tobacco, U.S. Fi-yer-arms. Yay!

Here they come! rat-a-tat-a, rat-a-tat-a, rat-tat
Joachim, you'd better get outa the brig; rat-a-tat-a, rat-a-tat-a, rat-tat
You've got a list of customers that's pretty big.

Man, they'll all want sniffs to Cocaine Hell,
'Cause lots of guns were travellin' for quite a spell
All the way from Phoenix or Tu-cson;
But the Alcohol, Tobacco, Fi-yer-arms plan is gone!

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   3
 3
 3
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

AFW - November 28, 2011 - Report this comment
You, and OMR have the show tune political parody franchise nailed down...good one
Old Man Ribber - November 28, 2011 - Report this comment
BJM - I am delighted and not at all surprised that you know this song! Your skills are indeed Fast and Furious! ;D
Barry J. Mitchel - November 28, 2011 - Report this comment
AFW: Thanks; I hope that OMR read your comment. He's very modest. ;^)
OMR: Thanks; I'm furious but not fast on this topic. I copied TOS on 10/31!
In the penultimate line, "through Tucson" would be more accurate.
Dana Mathewson - November 30, 2011 - Report this comment
Talk about gallows humor! Of course, I'm thinking a gallows would be a perfect place for a certain holder to find himself. Holder of what, you ask? Oh, you know perfectly well.
Barry J. Mitchel - December 01, 2011 - Report this comment
DM: Thanks; I'm sure you didn't mean that literally. But his next job might be GALLOWS (General Attorney Liberally Litigating for Occupy Wall Street).

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/bingcrosby166.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 830