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Song Parodies -> "Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms"

Original Song Title:

"Atchison, Topeka and Santa Fe"

Original Performer:

Bing Crosby

Parody Song Title:

"Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms"

Parody Written by:

Barry J. Mitchel

The Lyrics

This manuscript was found on a drug-cartel victim who had heard TOS as a child in New Mexico. It's ironic that a song about a profitable railroad could be parodied to satirize "Fast and Furious" a.k.a. "Operation Gun Runner", a "back-firing" policy of an administration that insists on subsidizing new high-speed rail. None of this is funny, especially line 6, but it may have wry humor.
Did you hear that guns flowed down like wine?
I figured they were sending some that's mighty fine.
Down in Mexico, they're bound to stay
From the Alcohol, Tobacco, Fi-yer-arms give-away.

See the gun-smoke rise, hear sounds descend;
I reckon that a border agent met his end.
Folks around these parts get more crime each day,
Thanks to Alcohol, Tobacco, U.S. Fi-yer-arms. Yay!

Here they come! rat-a-tat-a, rat-a-tat-a, rat-tat
Joachim, you'd better get outa the brig; rat-a-tat-a, rat-a-tat-a, rat-tat
You've got a list of customers that's pretty big.

Man, they'll all want sniffs to Cocaine Hell,
'Cause lots of guns were travellin' for quite a spell
All the way from Phoenix or Tu-cson;
But the Alcohol, Tobacco, Fi-yer-arms plan is gone!

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

AFW - November 28, 2011 - Report this comment
You, and OMR have the show tune political parody franchise nailed down...good one
Old Man Ribber - November 28, 2011 - Report this comment
BJM - I am delighted and not at all surprised that you know this song! Your skills are indeed Fast and Furious! ;D
Barry J. Mitchel - November 28, 2011 - Report this comment
AFW: Thanks; I hope that OMR read your comment. He's very modest. ;^)
OMR: Thanks; I'm furious but not fast on this topic. I copied TOS on 10/31!
In the penultimate line, "through Tucson" would be more accurate.
Dana Mathewson - November 30, 2011 - Report this comment
Talk about gallows humor! Of course, I'm thinking a gallows would be a perfect place for a certain holder to find himself. Holder of what, you ask? Oh, you know perfectly well.
Barry J. Mitchel - December 01, 2011 - Report this comment
DM: Thanks; I'm sure you didn't mean that literally. But his next job might be GALLOWS (General Attorney Liberally Litigating for Occupy Wall Street).

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