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Song Parodies -> "Post-Revival Thoughts"

Original Song Title:

"Suicidal Thoughts"

Original Performer:

The Notorious B.I.G.

Parody Song Title:

"Post-Revival Thoughts"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Lots of things go through your mind when you've been raised from the dead for the umpteenth time...
Cleric:
Hello?
I hear breathin', you just died a bit, man
That's done, man
Tell me, now that you're alive and shit
Let's get right back to the plot
You aight?
Hey, buddy, you seem off, what's up with you?

Fighter (Cleric):
Did I die? I guess it didn't go that well
Thought I could handle things, cracked my armour like eggshells (hence that awful sound, man)
I made no dents in that mad wizard with his oogie-boogie
Magic shite, no offense, Baern, his schtick's spooky (stop, man)
Proper whallop shoulda smashed his skull to bits
No damage? No way, no reason my shit missed
His magic is oogie-boogie, once my world went black, I
Then got sent to somewhere where gods have no eyes (you talkin' some crazy shit now, Mehmen)
Zero lights, I couldn't move, but what was worse
Was the constant laughter from some smug joke-tellin' jerk (ah)
Line after line, guffaws weren't proportioned
To the joke quality, I really dipped out on fortune
It could make somebody make a choice to become drunker (yo, get a hold of yourself, Mehmen)
Than they've ever been, but it almost became wonder
The seventh time I've died since our group formed that time
We all, by pure coincidence, had decided to sign (you're ramblin', geez)
Up to help this one lost dwarf, since then we've stuck like glue
How much have we all been rezzed (together? Fair few)?
Seen many gods, some of them seemed rather pissed I was returnin'
A revolvin' door for dead dampers the worship (I guess that would suck)
Some others take in jest how I'm a guest (well, that's great, please don't list, man)
Impact of death has lessened since that first cracked head
No longer care that much, I can't, I can't believe (let's go, you know we've all gone through there, man)
Post-revival's our state of life, we'll never leave
Our mortal coil, at least not for a minute or so, geez
Would other heroes understand (friggin' stop talkin', please, man)?
You see, I wonder if the fact that we undo death like that
Is common the realm over (who knows?), are we just lucky prats (just go, man, drop out and stop talkin', dude, just get in the cart)?
I'm glad it put my ribs back outside of my lungs, see (true, though)
If that weren't the usual, dead once more cause they'd bleed (let's go, shut your jerk trap, man)
And then I would go crazy, brain would not reform (yo, save the words for the road, Mehmen)
The way it was before it met that ogre's greatsword (ayo
Others would freak how each week (you listenin' to me, arrow fodder?)
We go six feet deep, then brought back, no corpse to reak (ayo, c'mon, Mehmen)
Would they get sick of fightin' (stop that)? Wait, why have you been gawkin' (ayo)
Holy crap, have I been talkin' (there we go, bro, sit down and chill)
*the sound of plate armour thunking in the back of a cart*
(Let's move it, let's move it)

One of the gods:
Will that lug ever come here again?
Will that lug make it permanent?

Baern and Mehmen are example names for male dwarves and humans (respectively) in the Player's Handbook for 5th edition D&D.

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