SlimFast® by the case
Went straight to my waist
What they said was sound
Still I packed on pounds
Twinkies® to inhale
Yes I’m lookin’, like a whale
All I see is rolls
Got no physique, only folds

Too fat for a Sumo’s belt
‘Cause it will reveal
It’s time for a tuna melt
Can’t be skippin’ meals
Too fat for a Scottish kilt
‘Cause it won’t conceal
You might get ill

I’m twice the weight I’m ‘sposed to be
Jenny Craig help me now
To loose the weight
And, I miss my toes I used to see
I sure feel like a cow
That eats its hay
Well, I’m half the weight a horse should be
‘Cause I eat like a sow
That sleeps all day
Well, I’m twice the weight I’m ‘sposed to be
Twice the weight I’m ‘sposed to be

See my corpulence
I could split my pants
Everybody watch
Look out for my crotch
I got beefy cheeks
Do you wanna see a freak?
Size don’t matter none
Lest you talkin’ ‘bout my buns





Let’s dine with a heaping plate
And a rack of ribs
Washed down with some lemonade
Or a Mr. Pib®
Top off with some chocolate cake
Where’s my lobster bib?
I got first dibs


I’m twice the weight I’m ‘sposed to be
Watch me eat like a pig
That feeds on slop
I miss the pot when I go pee
Because I’m way too big
I fall down PLOP!
I’m half the weight an ass should be
It sounds like I’m a twig
When joints go POP!
I’m twice the weight I’m ‘sposed to be
Twice the weight I’m ‘sposed to be


Be nice to a beach bound whale
Things look awful grim
Life’s hard with its broadened tail
And it cannot swim
Lap bands can help blubber melt
Though chances are slim

I’m twice the weight I’m ‘sposed to be
I waddle when I walk
I hate to say
I’m miss the “me” I used to be
When my knees didn’t knock
I sit to pray
I’m twice the weight a hog should be
I could go for ham hocks
I hate the word obesity
I’m twice the weight I’m ‘sposed to be
I’m twice the weight I’m ‘sposed to be