Sometimes I feel like a mathematician
Or maybe a historian
With all the pain for the money I win
Lotto won’t show some restraint

I try the cards and the slot machines
I study geometry which hurts
And then some stats or some probability
It’s so painful, I blurt

I know that the math classes are part of the deal
I know that the clubs can be lots of fun
I know that pulling fingers might make you fart
But feels like I’m shaving my heart

It may show you yellow lemons
It might show you oranges
It may conceal cherries in the machine
Or 7 if you’re lucky

I know David Spade is funnier when you’re drunk
I’ve heard of an old game, Wizard of Wor
I know to keep your head away during darts
It feels like I’m shaving my heart
It feels like I shave
I’m shaving my heart

If I told you this was random
You'd maybe think there's something wrong
I'm not Batman’s enemy with two faces
High school mask, Bill Clinton

But all these nerds know nothing
And find out to their cost
Like those who put their coconuts in a row, now
And then quote Robert Frost

I know that the spikes are of use for growing plants
I know that the clubs are caveman weapons
And Dustin Diamond’s comedy isn’t art
It feels like I’m shaving my heart
Feels like I’m shaving my heart
Feels like I shave
I’m shaving my heart